Page 16 of Meant to Be

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“Thanks for driving,” I stated, foolishly. I turned my head to stare out the passenger side window of Josh’s car. I squeezed my fingers when I felt his intertwine with mine for the umpteenth time that day.

“Like I would’ve trusted you to drive.”

My lips twitched. He was right. I was a terrible driver. I attributed it to my late start behind the wheel. I’d only had my license for a year.

“Jerk,” I retorted at the same time as we pulled up in front of my parents’ home.

Josh snorted. He turned off the car and pressed his head against the leather headrest, closing his eyes and pushing out a breath.

“This shit hurts,” Josh grunted, shaking his head.

I lowered my head. The tension and bereavement in his voice nearly shattered me. But I knew what he meant. Life without Chelsea Armstrong just didn’t make sense. We’d graduated from college a month prior and had our whole lives ahead of us.

“We were supposed to go to med school together,” I added. I looked up when his hand tightened around mine. My throat squeezed at seeing his eyes boring into mine.

“You’ll make it.” His voice was so low, but steady and reassuring.

“But not with her. We had so many plans together. Graduate college, med school, travel …” I trailed off.

“All of which, you’ll still get to do.”

I shook my head. “I’m thinking of postponing med school,” I nearly whispered.

Josh sat up fully, his head moving closer to mine. “What?”

His voice was so hard I flinched a little.

“I-I just don’t think I’m ready. Chels was the smart one—”

“You graduated with a four point oh, top of your class. What are you talking about?” His voice was unyielding.

I ran my free hand through my hair, feeling anxious. I knew I wasn’t making any sense. Being physicians had been both my and Chelsea’s dream.

“I’m not saying forever, just a year … or two.”

“Ortwo?Chels would kill you. Hell,I’dkill you. You were born to help people, Kay.”

My lashes lowered at my nickname on his lips. The fluttering in my belly started and suddenly it seemed as if someone had sucked out all of the air in the BMW.

“Don’t quit on this.”

I pinched my lips. “What about you? You were supposed to start at Townsend Real Estate last week and you weren’t there,” I charged, needing to turn the attention off of me.

His lips tightened. “That’s different.”

“How so?”

“It just is.”

I gave a mocking laugh. “Real estate is your passion. You were drawing up luxury home plans at fourteen. Practically had your own office in Townsend at sixteen. But now you’re blowing off work and telling me it’s different than delaying med school for a while,” I accused.

“It just is!” he yelled before clamping his mouth shut. His jaw ticked as he stared out the windshield.

Thick silence filled the car. I stared at his profile and my belly fluttered. Instinctively, I reached up and ran my hand along his jaw, then cupped the back of his head.

He lowered his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. He was silently apologizing for yelling. He could save it. I didn’t need it. We both were dealing with a broken heart. Mine was broken for two reasons but he didn’t need to know that.