Page 57 of Maxim

What I don’t expect is for him to chuckle. His laughter makes my breath catch.

“Not wrong. Are you happy to be free, though?” He nods toward my leg.

I can still see the guilt in his eyes.

I look down and rub my free ankle. I haven’t had it on since my incident, but I still feel like it’s there sometimes. I guess that’s what happens when you get used to it.

“I am. Sometimes I still feel like it’s there. Like I can feel it, but I know it’s not. Thank you for trusting me enough to leave it off.”

“I should have never resorted to putting it on in the first place. I’ve never had to navigate a situation like this before. I made the wrong choice. I’m truly sorry for that.”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up,” I find myself saying. “I forgive you. We both made choices that maybe weren’t the best. I shouldn’t have run. I knew I couldn’t get my siblings out, and it would cause trouble. I learned my lesson. I won’t do it again. We both learned something. Now we move on.”

He sighs, shaking his head. “You allow me too much grace. You should hate me for what I’ve done.”

“Maybe, but I don’t. Especially now that I know why. You need to give yourself a little more slack. You are doing dangerous things to save people. To save my people. Maybe forgive yourself for not being perfect.”

“I need to be perfect. If I’m not, people die,” he admits.

Reaching out, I grab his hand. “No, people die because there is evil in this world. They will live because you do everything you can to save them. Don’t take on others’ actions as your own.”

“What if what I do ends up being the same thing they are doing? Will it matter if the intentions are good? If it’s all part of the cover? I’m not sure my conscience will see it that way.”

I knew something happened tonight.

“Tell me what happened. Why do you feel this way?” I ask.

“I don’t want to burden you.”

“I’m asking you to. I can’t be out there by your side taking on my father, but I can help carry the load when you get home.”

He considers my words a moment before he nods. “Your father accepted my proposition, but he wants me to bring in five people to auction off. If I don’t, he will either kill me or know I’ma fake and blow my cover. If I do, I’m as bad as they are. It’s a catch-twenty-two.”

“A what?” I ask.

He frowns. “I hate that your father deprived you. We are getting you schooling and whatever else you need to know about the world. Catch-twenty-two basically means there is no option that would allow me to come out on top. Either way, there are consequences. I need to decide which option I can live with.”

“The one that saves my siblings,” I say without thought.

“That means putting others through the same situation you went through. Is that fair?” he asks.

“No, but they don’t deserve the life they are living. Besides, if you stay under and do what they ask, you save others too. Maybe even the same ones you put in.”

“Yeah, maybe. I’m not sure. I sent a message back to the team. Hopefully they come up with a plan.”

After a moment, he whispers, “How will I be able to live with myself if I do this?”

I move to his side, leaning my head on his shoulder. “You will work through it the way I’m trying to work through my trauma. I’ll help you the way you are helping me. We do what we have to in order to survive.”

“Are you attending therapy that I don’t know about?” he teases.

“Sort of. Thea has been helping me work through my trauma. She has some experience with therapy. We spend an hour every time she is here talking about things.”

“I’m really glad you have her,” he says.

“Thank you for bringing her to me. For saving me too.”

“You’re welcome,” he says, cupping my cheek.