Page 34 of Maxim

Grandma laughs. “Someone who doesn’t stand to win at what they are doing. That’s the person you should always root for.”

“Okay, Grandma. I’ll always root for the underdog.”

The memory fades, and I can’t help but smile. Grandma wasn’t wrong when she said to always go for the underdog, and right now, that’s me.

It’s been two weeks in this prison. I only know because I have kept track on the side of the dresser with a pair of scissors I found in the bathroom. I’m pretty sure they are meant to trim nose hairs or something, but I don’t care.

All I care about is my siblings. The same ones I will likely never see again.

I thought my father would understand why I came back. I thought he would keep me and tell Maxim to take a hike.

I should have known better.

I saw it in my father’s eyes. He wants to kill me.

I’m no longer useful to him.

Then there’s Maxim. I remember his eyes that night. He looked troubled to be choking me. He wasn’t even choking me hard. It didn’t even hurt, but it haunted him. Then Daryna came flying into the room, and I panicked. I made him hurt me more.

I want to hate him for it, but I have a feeling there is more to Maxim than I realize. Not that it matters.

I made a decision today. One that will alter both mine and my siblings’ lives. I only hope they can forgive me.

I want to save them. It’s my only hope, but hope has fled. I’m not strong enough to break them free from the horrors of that house.

God, I wish I had the strength.

I can’t live without them, though. What does life even matter if I have nothing and no one?

I can’t go on knowing what my siblings might face. They are more than my siblings to me. I raised them. I made them into the little beings they are. I changed their diapers and kissed their wounds.

They are more like my children.

How can you live without your child?

I choke back the tears as I contemplate what I’m about to do.

Standing from the bed, I make my way into the bathroom. I turn the water on, allowing it to fill.

Finding the fancy crystals under the sink, I pour them into the water. It smells so nice.

When the tub is filled, I turn off the water. Then I grab the scissors before settling into the warm bath.

I read somewhere once that warm water makes blood flow better. I hope that’s the truth. I don’t want this to be long and agonizing.

I think back to the last couple of weeks. Has it really been that bad?

No. Not really. It could have been worse. Maxim has been a good master. He hasn’t hit me or hurt me. At least not outside my father’s house.

He feeds me and gives me clothes. He even lets me watch television.

That’s not enough for a human to live on, though. He is never here. I feel isolated and alone.

Daryna and Alek are the only joy I had in this life. Without them, I am drowning.

What is the point? Why should I keep trying when I know I will never be happy again?

Lifting the scissors to my wrist, I stare at the contrast of the shiny silver against my pale skin.