Page 16
Story: Mates and Other Obstacles to Accidentally Saving the World (The Cake Chaos Chronicles #1)
Chapter 16
Evie
D eclan paused for a breath as a massive elk with a rack for days wandered closer to Greg. Since the other shifters weren’t eating him, I guessed he was a shifter and not an actual elk. I would find Ward too, if I was an herbivore in a brood of animals, no matter how big my rack. I looked around and found Ward at the edge of our traveling party, talking to the two harem guys from the temple. So maybe the elk was here for me? Perhaps my show of power wasn’t all bad. I tried not to freak out over that.
Declan papered over any anxiety that might have leaked out by continuing his admittedly fascinating monologue as he walked beside me.
“... guarding those dusty old bones. Who cares if they retained the wisdom of the ages? Zophiel is as dead as the rest of the Godds. And good riddance. Half those waffle munchers walked around like they were Godds’ gift to the rest of us. After a hundred years of service, they still didn’t bother asking about… well, anything.”
I murmured something that must have sounded like encouragement while I searched for Ward again. It was my fault. Every fear my village put into my head came true as his claws touched that lion. I couldn’t tell the teddy bear I had been traveling with from the bear who just casually killed a crazed shifter.
In the clear light of the morning, I replayed what happened with the lion as Declan continued on single-handedly. The lion was definitely going to kill me and no legs—squatty or otherwise—would have stopped him.
Ward defended my life.
Those words cycled over and over in my head.
Declan’s chatter broke through again. “Everyone thinks the Kings wiped out the Godds to teach us a lesson about death. Hello! Most of us are immortal, or next to it. I think they were tired of their followers acting like donkey slugs. We?—”
I interrupted whatever Declan was talking about. “Could I do that?”
Declan turned to look at me, not at all disturbed by my change of topic. “Do what? Wipe out the Godds?”
Was that what he was talking about? I wasn’t paying attention.
“Could I kill a shifter of that size if he attacked Ward?”
Declan cocked his head. “It’s not really a matter of size for shifters, but heart. If someone attacked your mate, I wouldn’t want to see what was left of them.”
“My ex would faint dead away if he saw that and then probably sleep with my sister again.”
Declan sped up and yanked on Greg’s reins, stopping us cold. The elk stopped with us, too, grazing on some non-existent grass, trying to not make it obvious he was waiting for us. Declan pulled me off the horse in one sweep and crushed me into a hug. “No, Evie. Assholes don’t sleep with your siblings for any other reason than they’re assholes. Assholes, just asshole.”
Not even Maggie had ever said as much to me. We didn’t talk about that incident for fear of setting each other off, but we needed to. This had to be resolved between us, because I deserved Ward in my life and no one else. I hugged Declan back until a bellow sounded across the road.
“I like you too much to find you in pieces spread throughout the forest. Help me back up?”
The wolf nodded and boosted me up onto Greg. “Your ex sounds like he would have a very human perspective on what happened. Was he a sheltered shifter?”
“Well, he was human. Just like I thought I was until this whole quest started.”
Declan’s eyes lit up in understanding. “Ah. Well, that explains it. I only know about humans from the history books, but I do know about shifters and anyone that has found their mate would have done the same to that lion. There are no second chances when you’re in danger, Evie.”
Innately, I understood that, because I would have killed anyone trying to hurt Ward, too. If that made me a shifter, then it was time I embraced it.
The ground shook as Ward cleared a path to us. “Your time is up for talking to her.”
I rolled my eyes at him as he placed Noora on the saddle and wedged himself between Declan and I. The whole thing last night only made Ward more protective of me.
“Did Declan tell you he thinks those boxes are mechania?” Noora asked.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Infernal magic you don’t want to get mixed up in,” Noora spat.
As the day progressed, we chatted about our theories of who placed the boxes and why. Grassland and scrubby forest gave way to rockier terrain. Boulders peeked out of golden fronds. The wind blew chillier as we neared the foothills of the Infernal Peaks. They lived up to their name, towering above us, and we would need a proper meal before we attempted them.
I came up with the brilliant idea to have some shifters forage instead of hunt, so everything would stretch further. The elk only too happily organized the brood, not slaughtering wildlife into some semblance of a team. It made the evening meal a hearty one, where everyone stopped eyeing everyone else and relaxed enough to ask me to shift.
I had to put away this fear if I was in this life forever. Before everything exploded, Ward said he would love me no matter what I looked like, and I had to remember that. Godds knew we all probably needed a laugh to break the tension. Ward nodded his encouragement, and I awkwardly slumped into a black snake with stubby little legs. Declan blinked, flicking a foot with his finger.
“Dog!” Ward warned.
Declan smiled. “Don’t go into uncontrollable hiss-terics.” The monsters around the fire groaned. “I just wanted to see if they were real.”
Noora dragged him farther from Ward even as my man chuckled. Apparently, he was a sucker for puns. Everyone guessed what type of snake I became until we all dissolved into laughter. We all took turns coming up with fake snake species and all the banter allowed me to see Ward clearly again. He defended me. With his life. The enormity of that still didn't fit right, but maybe everything would be okay.
The next morning I mounted Greg with the help of a stump when Ward came over and snatched me down again.
“Viper. You’re riding under my cloak today. The horses I can spell for warmth. I’m not taking a chance with you.”
“Thank you for saving my life.”
Ward stopped dead in his tracks.
“I can't say it didn't scare me, but thank you. That lion would have torn me apart.”
Ward said nothing for a moment. “I will always be at your service, even if you fear me.”
I grabbed his arm, or as much as I could wrap my hand around. “No, Ward. It wasn’t you. The situation terrified me. I know you would never hurt me.”
I did, with absolute conviction—that had to be the mate bond.
Ward nodded. “I’m glad, because we need my bear. Even a mage can die on the Infernal Peaks. Only my bear and your snake will make it.” Ward called a few spells for the horses and a giant cloak to drape over him before he shifted. Climbing under it felt like my own personal blanket fort. My tiny snake claws latched into his fur. I should have been nervous, but Ward’s fur was a delight beneath me. His body heat made me sweat as we climbed the foothills, then kept me less than freezing as we reached the snow line.
The journey was easier than wrestling our emotions. His easy gait through the deepest snow reminded me there were good parts to having a giant warm bear to carry you through life. I hugged him a little tighter.
The wind and snow whipped its brutal, icy fingers against us as the drift grew deeper and deeper. It wasn’t worth it to open my mouth to speak. I was afraid my tongue would freeze.
Nice weather we’re having!
Ward only chuckled in his mind, saving his energy for plowing a path that the rest of the shifter brood could follow. You should see it in winter.
Come this way often? Looks real romantic. The razor-sharp rocks jutted out of the snow like teeth ready to rend us apart. Their added benefit was funneling the wind directly in our faces.
I have a friend who lives here. My parents met him on their travels and he would always write me letters with inappropriate bawdy ballads tacked onto the end. The warmth in Ward’s voice was hard to resist. Something about picturing him small and laughing had my heart thumping. I actually wanted to discover what kind of friend made a home here. Hopefully, he wasn’t terrifying.
Jerry has lived so long he also knew the King of the Elves, and we started a ballad competition that lasted way longer than it should have.
I wondered if he would sing any for me. As we neared a tiny gap at the peak of the mountain, I looked back at our crew. Declan turned completely white. The harem boys found a few layers of cloaks and blankets to huddle under in addition to Ward’s spell, and Noora had Brightpaw wrapped around her like a fur blanket. The rest of the crew looked miserable but alive. Hopefully, it was all downhill from here.
Ward’s next step shook the ground, knocking snow from the ledges and boulders surrounding us.
You don’t have to show off, I told him.
That wasn’t me, he said as he stepped back in our plowed snow trail.
More snow slowly sifted down from the rocks as something slithered across the stone.
Ward transformed to human in a blink. Turned out being strapped to a man’s back was indeed a great way to travel. His muscles shifting beneath me sizzled my brain cells when I should have been paying attention to the black-and-white speckled thing sliding into our path.
“Don’t scare everyone, Jerry,” Ward called.
Can’t you just mind-speak to him? I asked.
“Jerry isn’t a shifter, Jerry is?—”
“Jerry is dead.” A voice like a sepulcher filled the pass—more chilling than the wind and ice.
Ward tensed up underneath me until he became a marble statue. A gigantic worm shook off the rest of the snow covering his mottled, wrinkly, slimy skin. A wide mouth set under a single stupid eye, framed with the longest eyelashes I had ever seen on a creature. His mouth made it look like he was permanently smirking. Even I looked better as a tube than that.
Oh no, Ward. I’m so sorry. I tried to turn my clinging into a hug, but he was so broad I barely squeezed him.
“I have no idea how to tell Noth. We hadn’t received some letters in a while, but the post doesn’t exactly make it consistently to the Infernal Peaks.”
The shifter brood bundled together behind us for warmth.
“Let us pass and we’ll be out of your way,” Ward said, doing a good job of keeping the sadness out of his voice.
“You certainly will be. So many morsels haven’t come my way in a long time. You must taste better than Jerry did.”
Ward’s growl reverberated through the mountains. His anger kicked up mine. What a prick.
Anyone who would harm a ballad-writing mountain introvert was a dick. Eat him, and you were really on my shit list. The worm lowered his head to reveal a mouth full of needle-like daggers. I felt the slide of scales in my mind for the first time. Like someone else occupied it.
The worm’s hideous voice spat venom. “Though I might have to tenderize some of you before my meal.”
Some of the brood had attempted to back up to the sides of the pass, including Toad at the edge of the group. Faster than I could track him, the worm whipped out and smashed Toad in a plume of snow and my shrill screams.
I shifted and leapt off Ward’s back, with a dagger in my hands, before I registered what was happening. I wouldn't survive as a snake, but I could stab as a human. Hands came in handy. I didn't think—I let my snake’s instincts take over. The same force that bit that Alpha wolf rose inside me. I was done playing by human rules.
Evie, no! Ward’s warning didn’t stop me. I ran toward the snow-crusted monster. Ward shifted and swiped a gigantic paw down the worm’s side. The worm barely slowed down and snapped a snow-encrusted Declan into his mouth.
I leapt on his head and plunged the dagger in his eye. As his maw opened to scream, he dropped Declan. The worm curled up on himself, wriggling like he would break free of the metal in his eye. I hung on for dear life, watching as his tail whipped toward me with yet another head on that end. Ward took it in his giant jaws, crushing the mouth, impaling it on its own teeth. The worm shook us, spraying snow and slush over all of us as it snapped at Ward, who did his best to battle to my side.
A ripping sound brought a shrill cry from the worm, too loud now that I was next to his mouth.
Take him! Ward snarled.
The rest of the brood swarmed the struggling monster, and thankfully Toad shook himself off and charged forward. Antlers, claws and teeth sprayed the blue blood of the worm all over the pass. We might have been smaller than him, but the brood was capable of facing anything together.
That left me useless and hanging on as he attempted to retreat, plowing through the snow to the rocks above. An arrow thunked into the flesh next to me and at least I had another handhold. I looked down and watched the temple guys readying another shot. A second arrow gave me a foothold and relief for my tired arms. The third arrow lodged right in my calf, which I admit wasn’t great. In fact, it pretty much amounted to the fires of one of Fallon’s spicy chilies running through my body.
A flurry of claws, bellows and gnashing teeth was Ward in a frenzy, mowing through the worm with the fury of a thousand swords. The worm reached the ledge, its lair decorated with a distressing amount of bones and a surprising number of flowers. Half the worm made it to the ledge with me pinned to his head before I looked down and there was no rest of the worm to pull up to where we landed. Ward chewed and clawed right through it, claws, muzzle bright-blue and eyes glowing amber. He had no right to look hot, covered in blue blood, but it finally clicked that he was protecting me. He was always protecting me. In the world outside my village, that sometimes required a little blood.
You’re hurt, viper. I can feel it. Ward didn’t sound out of breath, but his sides heaved.
Maybe a little, I admitted, clutching the arrows that supported my weight.
I need to teach you to fight in your animal form. Ward’s growl sounded angry with himself.
I’m pretty sure that would be worse than me ending up here.
I tried to keep my voice neutral, but he heard it anyway. What hurts?
I didn’t want the harem boys in trouble. They nocked those arrows to help me. We can blame the worm, right?
Viper!
The authority in his voice did stupid things to my girlie bits at the most inopportune time. I did my best to clear it out of my inside voice. It's just a tiny arrow, but I'm losing my grip .
I looked into the mouth of the worm’s cave and saw a pile of trash at the entrance amongst the flowers and snow. A weird collection of different colored wool socks, a lyre missing its strings, and a book labeled Interesting Ballads . Since I didn't think ole' “eat ‘em up” worm had much interest in socks and musical instruments. They must have been Jerry's. The book only lay a few feet away. I stretched out a hand.
NO! Don’t lean forward, viper. The whole ledge is going to come down with you and the worm. His exasperation came through, loud and clear.
I knew I shouldn’t. But I was already up here and I regretted I ever thought Ward was only a killer. I ended up so close to something to remember his lost friend by. A small gesture might be the thing to bridge the gap in our understanding.
The edge to Ward’s voice grew sharper. Break off the arrow and pull your leg off the shaft.
That was the smart thing to do, address the searing pain first. I bent the arrow and with every tug; I saw stars.
That's good. You're doing so good, my girl.
Ward’s chocolate voice rolled through my head and straight between my legs.
Just a little more. I know you can do it, he continued. Slow and steady. Luckily my face smashed against clammy, dead, worm skin because it heated to my calf's temperature for completely opposite reasons.
Do not make me horny when I'm pinned to a dead monster, Ward, I said.
I'm preparing you for life attached to my hip because you're never leaving my side again. Bond or not, he barked back. Now break the damn arrow. The more gentle you are with it, the more it will hurt. I will catch you when you're free.
I couldn't look down to confirm he was below me, ready to catch me when I fell—I would throw up if I did.
Choosing the worst moments to be reckless had better not become my thing. The arrow hurt worse than the time Maggie tried to get me to do yoga, but I ripped free. Unfortunately, the worm also slipped on the ledge before catching on a pointy rock. I couldn’t tell if I screamed, but there an echo resounded in the pass.
Do not lean forward, viper. You’re still too high to reach, but I will catch you.
I had to trust that was true. I believed that was true. When I reached out for the book of ballads, the world disappeared beneath me. I snatched it, though, and everything was going to be fine. Ward’s inarticulate sound was not the last thing I would hear before my messy death. I would float into his arms like a dream, or slam into him so hard all the air left my lungs. And Ward’s lungs. A spray of snow drove up around us and floated back down more gracefully than I had as I gasped to suck in air. Ward moved, so he was alive. I was alive despite what my body told me.
Unable to speak human words. I got you this.
I flopped the book in his general direction. My hands weren’t working their best, either.
Did you hear anything I said, viper? His gasps were almost as big as mine, his lungs working overtime to suck in air.
I heard you. But Jerry deserved better than to be someone’s lunch, and I thought you might want this to remember him by.
Ward moved beneath me, finally able to sit up and drape me across his lap. Thankfully, the relics hadn’t turned me completely human again because I would never have survived that fall. That I already breathed again felt like a miracle. My leg remained unwalkable, but I believed Ward when he said my feet wouldn’t be touching the ground any time soon.
He reverently took the book in his hands and brushed the snow off it. Thank you, Evie.
I might not have had enough breath in my lungs to say it out loud, but the warmth on Ward’s face was enough. You’re welcome, mate.
The walk down the mountain was subdued. Everyone survived our encounter with the worm, but the snow remained deep until we got to the other side. The last of the sun did its best to look cheery, and the brood spread out again, checking on each other. As the realization that we still had our fingers and toes sunk in, the mood grew lighter.
It even got downright rowdy when a few bottles of mead passed around. I grabbed a swig before Ward poured the rest over my calf. True to his word, he didn’t leave my side even when we stopped for the night on a perfectly safe plain with a clear line of sight for miles. Goddess help us, we were still alive. All of us.
Everyone worked in harmony for once and built the fires a little bigger. The group circled up closer. Noora produced a tiny set of cymbals and the mead turned into grog. That was when Ward, with a wink in my direction, sang from the ballad book.
The honeycake queen was thick and sweet
With flour in her hair, and honey on her cheek,
She baked from dusk; she baked till dawn
And oh, how the bear came lumbering on
Condemn me no longer to starve and to weep
Hie, let down your drawbridge, I’ll enter your keep
Enter your keep, bonnie girl, enter your keep, bonnie girl
Let down your drawbridge, I’ll enter your keep
My man could sing. His rich baritone drifted over all of us as he continued and massaged magic into my calf. I couldn’t help but think it might also be a personal plea to my drawbridge as Ward looked into my eyes. He was right. Jerry wrote ballads sly and fun in a way that made me wish I knew him. The fitting tribute made for a raucous end to the night—the brood chanting their favorite verses long into the night.
Declan snuck me the first drink—to take my mind off the pain—as he took up position to guard my other side. Noora brought me the next one and dragged Toad over. He looked completely drunk, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to see him in his human form. Eventually, everyone passed me enough drinks that I slipped into my snake form without a thought. No one blinked. Or called me a monster. No one walked away, or Godds forbid, tried to murder me. Ward continued to massage my calf, even if it was a bit stumpier. Declan handed me some juicy meat and a round of bread. Ward fed it to me like a gentleman.
Though we didn’t talk about it, the wall between us crumbled softer. Maybe all couples needed to do the life and death thing. Because it was getting hard to see Ward as anything other than my Mate. I fell asleep in Ward’s warmth and arms. What a perfect ending to a terrible day. Too bad there were still two relics left to go.