Page 19 of Mated To The King’s Gamma (Lycan Luna: Abbie & Gannon #3)

L iam and I go out the back. We make a detour for Liam to get his stash of vodka.

As I sit out in the back gazebo in the main courtyard, Liam cracks the bottle open, passing it to me after he takes a swig.

I know it isn’t her fault, but there is only so much I can help with.

Abbie isn’t seeing it or is refusing to see and acknowledge it.

I love Tyson, and I love Abbie, but what is the point of making him his own room if she never allows him to sleep in it? All I want is to be able to sleep in my bed with her without being kickboxed by Tyson in his sleep.

“Just say it, brother. You don’t have to feel guilty for whatever it is. Not with me,” Liam tells me.

I let out a slow torturous breath, “I don’t know what else I can possibly do to help Abbie.

We went and made her old room into Tyson’s new room.

He loves it, but she won’t let him sleep in it.

That can’t be healthy for him, her, and especially me.

She says she knows I’m not Kade, and she knows I would never force myself on her, yet she continues to use Tyson as her own safety blanket.

I am barely getting any sleep because of it.

” I groan. It is driving me mad. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells around her, trying not to step on one of her many triggers. It is becoming impossible.

“Maybe you should let her see a therapist. There is only so much you can do. Have you talked to Azalea? You know they are just as tight as we are with each other, if not more.” I shake my head.

The king has enough going on with Azalea after losing their baby, and Abbie is to be my mate.

I have to figure out a way because I am dead on my feet with the constant kicking and screaming when he wakes in the night, he would be down the hall.

We can get a monitor; he’ll have every guard in the guard quarters listening for him.

We need to work out something, so I don’t have to burden them with her.

I hand Liam back the bottle, and he accepts it, taking a sip.

“Gannon, I am about to say something you might not wanna hear. Abbie was abused by not one but three spineless pieces of shit. It has been one drama leading into another. She has never been normal. Everything that has happened to her since the loss of her parents has proven that trusting anyone leads to more of the same.” I know what he says is true; I’m just frustrated.

Fuck we all have issues. Liam is a prime example of that with his upbringing, mine with my own, yet we still have good moments, and my childhood wasn’t nearly as traumatic as hers.

“She knows you would never treat her that way, but she can’t turn it off.

Look how long it took me to be better, well, better than I was.

Shit, man, I’m still all types of fucked up after what my father used to make me do, it doesn’t go away, you just learn to live with it.

And half the time I still don’t,” he says, holding up the bottle and shaking it before passing it back to me.

I sip it. Yeah, Liam is far from sane, but he is also smart, smarter than most give him credit for The horrors he has lived with make me sick, and only Clarice knows what he truly suffered at the hands of his father.

I know what he has told me, and maybe Dustin knows a little, but he is a very guarded man who lives with his own demons, demons I don’t even want in my own consciousness.

However, Liam is right. There is only so much I can do.

“I will tell her that in order for her to get better, she has to talk to someone other than Azalea and me. It isn’t good for her or Tyson.

I don’t want to lose her or my son.” If I could kill them all over again, I would make it all much longer and more painful.

I’m about to leave when Liam tugs me back, taking his bottle out of my hand.

“You do that, but this baby stays with me.” He winks before taking it to the head.

“I would offer, but we all know I would probably fuck her up as much as me. Maybe go speak with Clarice. You know she used to be a counselor before she worked as a nanny,” Liam tells me, and I nod before heading back to my quarters.

I stride up the stairs to our quarters when the smell of blood permeated the hall, “Fuck! Abbie!” I bolt to our room, hearing Tyson screaming.

Rushing into the bathroom makes my blood run cold, Tyson is trying to shake Abbie.

Blood is in the tub and running down its sides as water spills over the sides and out the door.

A bottle of wolfsbane lay on the floor. Thankfully, the lid was back on it, or it would have burned him.

“Tyson, look at me. Let me help mommy. I need you to step back for me, bubba,” I tell him while also trying to keep a hand on Abbie so she doesn’t slip beneath the water.

Tyson clutches his blanket in a vice grip. I pull a knife from my boot, fishing Abbie closer to me. Her head bobbing from side to side, cutting my wrist, I forced my blood past her lips.

“Tyson, out!” I order him, feeling guilty but he doesn’t need to witness this; he’s already seen too much.

He rushes out and I turn back to Abbie, my heart thumping frantically as panic swallows me.

“Come on, Abbie! Don’t do this to me.” My wrist tries to heal, and I bite into it to keep it open before opening her mouth, forcing more of my blood into her.

When that still doesn’t work, I grip her under the arms and sink my teeth into her neck, flooding her system with my venom.

I can’t lose her. How stupid of me to leave her while she was upset.

Abbie’s eyes began to flutter, and the color begins to return to her cheeks and lips and Tyson whimpers behind me just standing outside the bathroom door. “See, Tyson, Momma’s okay, Go wait in the room, and I’ll bring her right out.” I tell him. She begins to sputter and choke on the water.

Tyson reluctantly goes into the bedroom. I turn my attention back to Abbie. Her eyes bulge from her head, and she stutters, “Wha…what did you do? Why did you try to stop me?” she says, glancing around frantically when I see her eyes go back to the razor she used, resting on the side of the bathtub.

Abbie gasped as she looks down at her wrists and sees her wounds healing quickly and pushing out of my arms, flailing about.

I can’t let her try to kill herself again.

I have no other choice. So I grab her, I sink my teeth into her shoulder, this time trying to flood and overwhelm her system with my venom.

She fights me and I bite my wrist, jamming it over her mouth while she screams and flails about trying to stop me. I won’t lose her!

I pin Abbie, marking her repeatedly and force her head under the bloody water.

I pray I didn’t fuck up and the Lycan genes kicked in.

Her hand’s rake my arms and she thrashes, spilling water everywhere, kicking and screaming under the water.

Tyson screams and rushes in hitting me, screaming for her, his nails scratching me down my arms and back as he yanks on my shirt.

“Da, Da. Sto,” he wails yanking on me, and I fall back on my ass on the wet tiles and she jumps out of the water, sitting up, and clutching the sides of the tub. Tyson reaches for her but before he can, she chokes and sputters, spewing up water and giving me a frightened look.

“Abbie? I… I—” She stares at me for a second before climbing out of the tub and snatching her gown off the hook on the bathroom door.

“Abbie, wait!” I call out to her, but she is already gone. I hear the bedroom door slam just as Tyson goes to chase after her. I scoop him up, and he fights me.

“Wait, stop.” I try to soothe him as he screams for her. “Daddy wasn’t hurting her,” I try to tell him, yet I know that is a lie. I grab Tyson, setting him on my hip and step out the doors to find Liam coming back to his room. The bottle in his hand drops and shatters on the floor.

“Gannon?”

“Find Abbie! Help me find Abbie,” I tell him, and he takes off down one hall and I take the other.

But after half an hour and no sign of her, I go looking for Azalea, hoping she is with her.

When I reach her bedroom, Trey tells me he hasn’t seen her.

Trey looks at me horrified and grits his teeth.

“What have you done?” he asks, I shake my head. I just need Azalea.

“I need Azalea,” I tell him. “Mind link the king!” I snap at him, and he swallows glancing at her door before I feel him open the mind link, phasing me in so I can listen.

“Trey, which moron is at my door?” the king snarls at him.

“That moron would be me, My King,” Trey says, though I can hear the amusement in his voice at the king calling him a moron.

“What is it?” Kyson asks while I impatiently move from foot to foot, if he refuses I will break the king’s door down.

“Gannon wants me to ask if the queen would help him find Abbie,” Trey tells him.

“Tell him we are busy,” the king retorts. I growl and Trey glances at me and Tyson.

“Tell him it’s important that she left Tyson!” I tell Trey who recites my words to Kyson.

“I did, My King. He said he wouldn’t ask, but she left Tyson and took off, and he can’t find her.”

“She left Tyson?” the kings ask him.

“Yes, My King and Gannon said….”

“That she would never leave him behind,” the king finishes for him, and I sigh.

“We’ll be right there,” the king tells him, and he cuts the mind link. I look at Trey who waves me off because I’m becoming antsy standing here doing nothing when I should be looking for her.

“Go. I will inform them that…” He glances down at me nervously.

“Something happened,” Trey tells me, and I rush off with Tyson to check the servants’ quarters and the communal bathrooms.

One word from Azalea has the entire castle searching for her, yet no matter where we search, we can’t find her.

Hours pass and we all start backtracking when I spot water marks on the floor and find a bloody handprint by the stairs.

I sniff the air, picking up her scent, and start climbing the stairs.

Tyson is still sobbing in my arms. I can’t think straight—can barely breathe.

Panic courses through me and I have the entire castle out looking for her.

I fucked up.

I lost her.

My mind races, replaying the last few minutes over and over. The way she looked at me in the shower. The way she flinched from me. The way she ran.

I follow her scent, pushing my way toward the royal wing. My heart sinks when I realize where it leads.

Azalea and Kyson’s quarters.

I curse under my breath. Abbie never would have left Tyson unless she was truly broken. The realization makes something sharp lodge itself deep in my chest, a pain I don’t know how to fight.

I barely make it to the entrance before I see Azalea.

She freezes when she sees me, and the shock that hits her through the bond with Kyson is almost tangible.

Her eyes flick to Tyson, who is still whimpering in my arms, then to my blood-soaked shirt. I watch as her breathing hitches, as fury and fear flicker across her face quickly.

Her voice is sharp, cutting through the air like a blade. “What did you do?”

My throat tightens. “I didn’t mean to, but she tried to leave…”

I couldn’t even finish the sentence.

Tyson let out another wail, his little arms tightening around my neck like I’m the only thing keeping him tethered to reality. The sound shatters me.

Azalea rushes forward, rips him from my arms, and I growl before I can stop myself.

She snaps her head up, eyes blazing as she holds Tyson closer, his tiny fingers gripping her gown. “Stand down!”

I freeze, my instincts battling the part of me that wants nothing more than to grab Tyson back and fix everything.

But I can’t.

Because I have caused this.

Damian appears a second later, rushing down the hall with Clarice and Liam in tow. I barely register them, barely hear anything except the pounding of my own heart and Tyson’s choked sobs.

Clarice’s sharp gasp cuts through the thick tension. “Dear Goddess...”

Azalea doesn’t even hesitate. “Where is she?”

I can’t answer.

I can’t fucking speak.

I just stare at the bedroom door.

Azalea follows my gaze, and the moment her eyes land on it, her entire body goes rigid.

She gasps, realization washing over her like a tidal wave. “What did you do?” she whispers, her voice shaking with rage.

I can’t answer.

I’m choking on my own guilt, my own helplessness.

“I didn’t mean it,” I rasped. “I would never hurt her. She tried to leave me.”

Azalea’s breathing is ragged as she takes slow, measured steps toward the door. She adjusts Tyson in her arms, then passes him to Kyson without breaking her stride.

The moment her hands left him, I feel the shift in the air.

The queen isn’t just angry.

She is furious.

She reaches for the door handle, only to freeze when her fingers come away slick with blood.

The world slows as she stares at her own hand, as she realizes.

Her wide, horrified gaze snaps back to me, and for the first time in my life, I’m genuinely afraid.

Her growl is low and lethal as she shoves the door open and disappears inside.

I want to follow.

I want to drop to my knees and beg Abbie to forgive me.

But Kyson steps forward, his voice calm, quiet—deadly. “What did you do?”

My body is too heavy, my breath uneven. “I tried to change her,” I whisper, my knees buckling as I drop to the floor, fisting my hair.

Clarice gasps behind me, her hand flying to her mouth. “Gannon!” she breathed, horror lacing her voice.

“There is no way Abbie would have been ready for that after everything she has been through!” she scolds, her voice shaking.

I knew.

Fuck, I knew.

But I had panicked.

She had tried to kill herself. I had to save her.

I clench my fists, shaking my head. “She wouldn’t stop fighting me.”

Kyson’s growl rumbles through the hall, his voice sharp as a blade. “Because you tried to fucking kill her!”

“No,” I choked out. “She was trying to kill herself!”

The words hang in the air like a death sentence.

No one moves.

No one speaks.

Tyson whimpers again in Kyson’s arms, his little body trembling from exhaustion.

And all I can do is sit there, useless.

I have broken her.

I have lost her.

And I don’t know if I can ever fix it.