Page 46 of Master Wolf
A small voice inside Drew said,What if Lindsay is right?
What if Drew waswrong?
The panic that filled him at that thought was too much to bear and he thrust it aside quickly, like a burning thing, turning his attention to Lindsay again. Lindsay who looked soat peacewith all this. How could he be so calm?
“This is madness,” Drew said unhappily. You have no chance against Duncan.”
“I have a considerably better chance than I have ever had before.”
“A better chance of what? Death?”
Lindsay laughed softly. “Perhaps—it depends what your definition of success is.”
Drew stood up then, staring down at Lindsay in horror. “How can you say such things?” he whispered.
For the first time, Lindsay’s expression hardened. His lips thinned and he glanced away, though he said nothing.
“Lindsay—”
Lindsay met his gaze again, and his expression was harder now. “Do you remember the last time we saw one another? In Venice? What you said?”
Drew blinked, taken aback by the change of subject. “Sorry?”
“The last conversation we had,” Lindsay said again. “Do you remember it?”
Of course he did. At least he remembered Lindsay’s last words with perfect clarity, and the bleak expression in his eyes as he uttered them.
“I may not be able to free you, Drew, but I can, at least, stay away from you from now on.”
He closed his eyes against the memory. The pain of that moment—and he’daskedfor it, for Lindsay to stay away.
“No?” Lindsay said, misunderstanding Drew’s silence. “Let me remind you. You told me you wanted me to free you. That you wanted to stop craving me, to stop feeling my desire for you.” He paused. “Not to be a slave anymore.”
Drew didn’t say anything. He’d uttered some version of those words to Lindsay many times over the years. The last time had only been one such conversation. Drew hadn’t thought much anything of it. Hadn’t thought there was anything different or new about that occasion that would change anything. But after that night, Lindsay had embarked upon a course of action designed to give Drew exactly what he wanted.
Freedom from Lindsay.
Drew rubbed his chest. “You are asking me to abandon you,” he whispered.
Lindsay sighed. “Don’t be so dramatic,” he said. Then he braced his hand on top of his cane and slowly, painfully, got to his feet. Once he’d straightened, he looked Drew in the eye. “How can you be abandoning me when, until two days ago, I hadn’t seen you in twelve years? Any abandoning happened a very long time ago.” Lindsay was still smiling but there was old hurt in his eyes.
Oh, Christ, Drew couldn’t be wrong.He couldn’t. What would it mean if he were?
When he realised Drew wasn’t going to reply, Lindsay sighed. “Well, I’ve done my part for the night,” he said wearily. “I’m going home.”
It hadn’t even been an hour since Lindsay had arrived, but Drew could see the exhaustion in the faint stoop of his shoulders and in the lines that bracketed the sides of his mouth.
Drew stood. “I’ll walk you back.”
Lindsay waved him off, irritation in every line of his elegant body. “You came to meet Begg. You need to stay.”
“It’s not far to your house,” Drew replied. “Barely five minutes’ walk.”
“Exactly!” Lindsay said, his voice laced with exasperation. “There is absolutely no need for—”
“As I said, you’re as weak as a kitten,” Drew interrupted flatly. “I’m taking you home and that’s it. It won’t take long.”
Lindsay opened his mouth to protest again, but then he caught sight of Drew’s face and sighed. Rolling his eyes, he muttered, “Fine. Go and tell Marguerite then, while I make my way downstairs. I’ll see you at the front door.”