Page 20 of Martyr (Sterling Falls Rogues #3)

There’s a note on the counter. Reese and Saint went to get supplies. And Kade… I search the cabin for him, only to find him outside. He’s chopping wood, his tight black shirt doing absolutely nothing to hide his bunching muscles.

Kade unfortunately has the sort of muscular back that makes my mouth water.

Add that in with memories of what happened last night…

I swallow my desire and focus on the facts. Like, that Kade’s a traitor, he nearly stole Saint yesterday, and he opened the door for Ouranos to take over Sterling Falls. He was responsible for a lot of my heartache, even if his strings were being pulled from afar.

“I can feel you watching me.” Kade’s voice jars my thoughts just as he swings the axe down. The wood splits with a satisfying crack , the two halves falling off the stump.

“It’s better to keep my eye on you than leave you unsupervised.”

He buries the tip of the axe in the stump and turns to face me. His skin glistens with sweat. “Is that why you snuck out at the crack of dawn?”

I wave my hand, dismissing that. For some reason, I’m not exactly ready to admit that Lyssa is awake. He’d probably go rushing to her side, getting all distracted from the matter at hand…

“Why is it you always show up when things are at their worst?” I blurt out.

“Maybe I have remarkably bad timing.” He crosses to the porch and snags his shirt from the rail. Instead of putting it on, he uses the fabric to wipe at his face and chest.

“Bad timing doesn’t sell out your—” Jesus , I was about to call him a friend. Saint and I went to him for help when Reese was taken by Gabriel. “I trusted you. But you lied to us, you sabotaged us?—”

“I was trying to protect you, Tem.”

“No. No, you weren’t.”

His gaze softens. “Gabriel never would’ve released his hold on Reese. But after— after , Tem, when Ouranos arrived, that’s when I did what I could to get you all out.”

“Which means you were only protecting yourself in the end.” I cross my arms over my stomach. It rolls on the coffee I drank earlier, the shakiness of my fainting coming roaring back. My skin is clammy. “You put just enough care into your actions to make it hurt worse.”

He freezes. No doubt remembering that so-called care he used to pull me from the tub, brush my hair, dress me. And countless other little actions, even when he wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near us.

“Would it be better if I didn’t care at all?”

I lift my chin. “It would be better if you stayed away from us.”

His gaze is incredulous. “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t replay every second of what I did and wish I could rewrite it? Fuck that, Artemis. I have nightmares about how my actions led to this .” He motions at me.

All this, and he’s still on their fucking side. The side that wants to destroy and take over my city. The insidious, invading, murdering side.

“Then why are you still playing the villain?” I shout. “Why cling to the role like it makes any of this noble?”

“Because it’s easier than hoping for forgiveness I’ll never deserve.” His voice is hollow.

Hope is destructive.

Hope is dangerous.

I know that, just as well as anyone else. But would I chose evil over hope ?

“That’s the difference between us, Kade,” I say quietly. “I’d never sell someone out just to make myself feel better.”

He looks away, his cheeks pinkening. “Yeah. I know.”

I sigh. This is not how I wanted the conversation to go. He turns away, back to the job at hand, but stops when I call his name.

“By the way, your sister is awake.”

I was right—Kade bolted for Lyssa as soon as the words registered. I, by contrast, actually get a moment to breathe and enjoy the empty cabin. How long has it been since I’ve been alone ? Like, truly? Stolen nights in my apartment at Bow & Arrow don’t necessarily count.

I take a hot shower, and even the gross two-in-one shampoo and conditioner can’t dampen how good the water feels.

Dressed in oversized clothes that smell distinctly like Kade’s citrus scent, I finger-comb my hair and wrap it in a towel, then go back to his room and flop on the bed.

Considering Kade…

He clearly cares about his sister. He bought this cabin to be near her, even though she was unconscious for a decade. He fixed it up enough to be a decent place to stay.

And his loyalty to Reese is undeniable.

I screw my eyes shut tighter, not liking that train of thought. Can I blame him for saving Reese? Not really. I would’ve given Kade up to save Saint, and I don’t even particularly like Saint.

That’s a lie.

I really, really, really don’t like Saint.

For some reason, that thought brings a smile to my lips.

And in the next second, I’m crying.

Because fuck Saint Hart . Fuck his stupid memory loss, and blaming me for being the bearer of bad news, and?—

The front door creaks upon opening, and I sit up sharply. I dash the tears from my face and pull the towel from my head. My wet hair tumbles over my shoulders. Hopefully all the telltale signs of crying—red face, bloodshot and puffy eyes—will be overlooked.

Then again, I only cried for thirty seconds before getting interrupted.

Shaking it off, I exit the room and find Reese and Saint in the kitchen, unloading bags on the counter.

Saint glances up first, and the corner of his lips curl up. The almost-smile is immediately replaced by a scowl, and I roll my eyes. Trust him to be so pigheaded it hurts.

Reese, however, leaves what he’s doing and envelops me in a hug. I let him fold me into his chest, the chill of winter still clinging to his jacket. I tip my head back, and he gives me exactly what I want: a kiss.

A soft peck. Nothing that should fire me up, but it does. The urge to jump his bones hits me hard, and I clutch harder at his jacket.

Calm down, Tem . Now’s not the time. I separate myself from him, retreating to the far side of the kitchen. I rest my hip on the counter and cross my arms.

“Lyssa is awake,” I inform them both.

Saint’s scowl lifts into a shocked expression.

Reese’s brows furrow. “How?”

I shrug. “Absolutely no idea. I doubt the doctors do either.”

But I knew I wasn’t imagining that hand squeeze . Reflex or not… She’s awake. Ten years later. If I thought Saint’s memory issues were bad, I can’t imagine waking up to a completely unfamiliar world.

The technology advances alone would be enough to make my head spin.

“That’s where Kade went. To go see her.”

Reese nods. “Now’s our shot, then.”

I tilt my head. “For what?”

“To leave him and get the fuck out of here.” He exits the kitchen, returning with a duffel bag. Instead of putting groceries away, he shoves stuff into the bag.

I inch closer, spotting toiletries as he tucks them away. I lay my hand on his arm. “We can’t go.”

“What?”

“I—”

“Your brother is back in Sterling Falls, Tem,” Reese says softly.

Saint perks. “Apollo? Was he traveling?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“He and his family went to Emerald Cove. Gabriel?—”

“Kade’s accomplice,” I interject.

Reese grimaces. “Gabriel cut them off from returning.”

Saint seems confused. “Apollo has a family?”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“He, Wolfe, and Jace are in a happy relationship with a woman named Kora.”

“All three of them?”

“Well, Wolfe and Apollo have a bit of a relationship on their own, too…”

Saint’s face flushes, and his eyes widen. “When?—?”

“Sometime in the last two years.” I make a face. “I keep forgetting you’re missing the extraneous details, too. The relationship isn’t my point. If my brother is back in Sterling Falls, that’s all the more reason for us to just wait it out.”

“You’re scared.” That comes from Saint. And, to no one’s surprise, he has asshole in his tone.

“I’m not scared . I don’t get scared.” I glare at him. “I am cautious. And , I know my brother’s family’s strengths. They’re more equipped to get Ouranos out of our town, and we can just come back when the coast is clear. They’ve done this before, after all.”

They’re practically experts at cleaning up the city. Yes, the last time a war broke out, it was gruesome and bloody, and we lost Nyx along the way…

“You’re not the slightest bit curious—or concerned—about what’s happening over there?” Reese asks me. “Antonio talked a lot about before . How you were the glue holding those guys together during the worst of it.”

My throat closes.

“Antonio?”

“He and Vittoria have been staying at Kora’s house with me.” Reese comes up and cups my cheek. “And Daniel stayed, too.”

“I know Daniel,” Saint murmurs. “Tech guy. He was never around much, though.”

“Tech guy,” I agree. “Came in clutch last year.”

Reese drags his palm over his face, hiding a smile. “He took over the dining room table with all his computers and hard drives and wires. He was driving Vittoria crazy. Probably still is.”

My smile is weak.

How can I deny going back when all the people I care about are there and waiting for me?

But… maybe Saint is partially right. Underlying my bravado isn’t fear—it’s craving.

Sterling Falls is a gateway back to the drugs that have finally left my system.

When I think about going back, my mind turns to Gabriel and his chaos, but also the rush that came with hitting the plunger and injecting the heroin into my bloodstream.

And it’s the craving that terrifies me.

“I’m surprised you want to ditch Kade,” Saint says to Reese.

“Your view of him is probably colored by your dick,” Reese replies.

I snort.

“You could give him a chance,” Saint mutters.

After a long moment, Reese blows out a breath. “Okay, fine. I’ll give him a chance—but don’t forget that he’s working for the enemy. He shouldn’t be trusted.”

On that, we agree.