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22

SAbrINA

“ Y ou’re hiding something.” I drop a kiss between his shoulder blades before circling my arms around his waist from behind.

He swivels his head to peer down at me but he can barely manage a fleeting smile. “Hey, baby.”

Monte has been distracted since we returned from dropping my mother off at the airport. It seems unlikely that he’d be fretting over another cross country drive. As of this morning, he was glad to know we’d be on our way back to New York within twenty-four hours.

While he hasn’t uttered a single complaint or rushed me at all, we’ve been gone for three weeks. I’m sure he wants to get back to his life.

Actually, I guess I should start thinking of it as our life now. Monte has been completely sincere about the fact that he wants us to be together.

I want that too. I’m so in love with him I can hardly breathe. And before we reach New York, I’m going to tell him this.

“What’s wrong?” I ask and tighten my arms around him.

He sighs and finally turns around. He tips my chin up and I’m reminded of the anxious way he looked down into my face the night of the Lenny Lombardo fiasco.

But why? What could be worrying him now?

“We should go talk,” he says.

Luca is sitting in the living room armchair and holding Jane. Anni folds a pile of baby clothes on the couch. My sister glances at us with some curiosity but it’s Luca’s face that worries me. The look he shoots at Monte is grim, like he knows what’s about to happen and he’s dreading it.

Monte takes my hand and leads me to the backyard. It’s a perfect summer evening. There’s no wind, the sky is clear and the deepening shades of twilight turn the world hushed and peaceful.

I’m nervous by the time Monte heaves a sigh and says, “I need to leave tomorrow.”

“I know. We’re both leaving tomorrow.”

He flinches and then shakes his head. “No, honey. I need you to stay here.”

If this is a joke, it’s a very bad joke. “I don’t understand. You don’t want me to come back to New York with you?”

He swallows and our eyes meet. There’s a pleading look in his gaze that I don’t like.

“Of course I want you to come with me. But I can’t go back to New York yet. I need you to wait here.”

“Monte, what are you talking about? Where are you going?”

“I need to pay a visit to someone.”

“Who? Where?” A horrifying thought races through my mind. “Are you going to see another girl?”

“Fuck no,” he growls and roughly pulls me close to his hard body. “You’re the only one. You hear me? There’s only you, Sabrina. ”

That is a relief. But I’m still confused.

“How long will you be gone?” I ask.

He shuts his eyes briefly. “I don’t know. Not more than a couple of days, I hope.”

“You hope? You don’t know?”

“No, I don’t know. I’ll get back here to you as soon as I can. Then we can go home.”

“Monte, what is this? Is it business?”

I can’t say what I really mean. ‘Is it the mafia?’ That’s just not a question you can ask out loud.

He hesitates, then shakes his head. “No, it’s personal.”

“Then take me with you.”

“I can’t, baby.” He kisses my forehead. “Please understand.”

“Understand what ? You aren’t telling me anything important.”

“Just wait here for me, Brina.”

I’m ready for another round of objections but he cuts them off with his mouth. His kiss is frantic and feverish.

The horde of questions tumbling through my mind are now rapidly disintegrating. Monte lifts me up. I throw my arms around his neck. My legs lock around his waist.

I love when he does this, boldly asserts his dominance and takes me along for the ride. I’ll go anywhere with him, no matter the stakes. Doesn’t he know that? Being left behind would crush me.

We move right past Anni and Luca. They don’t say a word. Just as well. We’re too into each other to extend any manners.

Monte carries me to our room. The light is already on and I’m glad. He barely gets the door closed before I’m impatiently opening his pants. The jersey material of my lightweight dress is stretchy, but not stretchy enough to avoid ripping when Monte rolls it down my arms and over my breasts. I’m not bothered. Hearing the material tear is exciting. If I care enough to fix it then I will.

My shoes are already off. I’m kissing my way down his chest. He seizes my arms to pull me up. He’s rough when he removes my bra. I’m equally rough when I shove his jeans down. His fist curls around my long hair and pulls, just enough to tilt my head back and give him access to my lips.

“I need you inside me,” I gasp against his mouth.

The scorching look he throws back in return guarantees he’ll meet the challenge.

I’m pushed to the bed, landing on my back. He rapidly crawls over me and claws my panties off like they’ve offended him somehow.

My knees stretch far apart. I’m ready for him and yet still surprised to feel him in my body. He’s in a controlling mood this time and he pins my wrists over my head while thrusting hard and deep.

“You’ll wait for me,” he says. Not a request. A command.

Okay. If that’s how he wants to do this, I can make demands too.

I lock my legs around his waist. “You’re not leaving without me.”

He throws his head back. Groans. Increases his pace. “I’ll come back for you.”

“No.” I tighten my legs, crossing my ankles at his back. He’ll need to pry me off if he wants to be free. “Promise that you need me with you, Monte.”

“Fuck.” He shuts his eyes, pumping harder. “I promise I need you, Brina. I promise.”

The noise we’re making is epic. The mattress screeches and the wooden headboard knocks against the wall. Luca is probably laughing and Anni must be covering her ears with horror. I should be embarrassed but I’m too close to coming to care.

Monte is relentless and he can outlast me. My thigh muscles ache and I struggle to keep my legs locked around him. The pressure builds. I’m climbing higher. The longer I wait to give in, the sweeter the reward.

The release is as sharp as a crack of thunder and I can’t stop from crumbling against him, whimpering as the waves batter my senses. I’ll have to trust him to pull out because I can’t stop this. If the choice were mine, I would cling to him until I blacked out.

Monte pauses while I’m still trembling on the tail end of the climax. The way he stares down at me gives me the feeling he’s trying to reach a critical decision. He’s so swollen and hard that I know he can’t take much more.

“Stay,” I whisper, foolish and desperate. That word can have many meanings right now.

His dark eyes flicker with hunger and ownership. I’ve given him permission and he won’t refuse.

One more colossal thrust and he explodes inside me. I shouldn’t love it this much or feel so triumphant.

Monte doesn’t withdraw until he’s totally spent. He exits me slowly and then carefully lays his head on my bare breasts. I hold him to my heart and wait for him to recover. I know this won’t take long. It never does with him.

We’re quieter the next time. And the time after that. We make love for hours. We use each other until we’re both drained. Finally, we take a shower together and curl up in bed. I fall asleep on his chest, inside the secure cage of his arms.

But when I wake up, I’m no longer there.

Even before I open my eyes, I know that something is very wrong.

The earliest wisps of dawn are seeping through the cracks in the blinds. The cheerful chirping of birds in the backyard trees greets the day.

And the other side of the bed is empty.

I’m positive he’s gone even before I sit up straight and switch on the light. Nothing else could explain this sense of desolation except his absence.

His duffel bag is nowhere in sight. In a twist, he did leave me his shirt, the Gino’s Pizzeria tee that I once begged him for and then returned. He’s laid it out on top of the comforter, covering me with it. Beside the shirt is a short note scrawled on a white paper bag from a gas station where he bought me candy weeks earlier during our clandestine road trip.

I’M SORRY. WAIT FOR ME.

Hurriedly, I pull the shirt on, not bothering with anything else since it reaches nearly to my knees. My hair is a fright and my feet are bare when I tear out through the bedroom door and run down the hall.

The front door is unlocked. Luca sits alone in a porch rocking chair with a mug of coffee. There’s no bright blue classic Impala parked in front of the house. There’s nothing but emptiness.

This feeling is no less painful than being hit in the chest. I’m aware that my brother-in-law’s sympathetic eyes are on me while I move to the corner of the porch and hug a thick pillar to stay upright.

“When did he leave?” I ask.

“About an hour ago,” Luca says. He clears his throat. “Sabrina, you should know he felt-”

“Be quiet,” I snap at him and then check my attitude. “Please, just let me be right now.”

“You got it,” Luca says and sighs. The rocking chair creaks against the painted floor of the porch.

I stare at the blank space in front of the house where Monte’s car is supposed to be parked and isn’t.

“You promised,” I whisper and press my cheek to varnished wood as the first tear falls.