Page 38 of Marked by the Pack (Crooked Point #2)

Thursday

Zoey

Emma had just stood up for what she wanted. Callum. Fingers crossed they were having amazing make up sex right now.

Because I was about to do the same thing with my men. And I wanted the same result.

I wasn’t sure I’d be so lucky though. The difference was that Emma and Callum had been in love with each other for ten years.

I’d only been officially dating these guys for a couple of days.

Otto had told me he loved me. But he was the only one.

And I hadn’t said it back yet. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get the chance to now.

I did love Otto. I knew that now. Because I felt physically sick at the thought of losing him. I felt sick at the thought of losing all of them.

I took a deep breath as I stopped on the walkway up to their house. I wanted this feeling in my chest to be temporary. I wasn’t used to feeling so much…doubt and uncertainty. Especially when I could see so clearly what I wanted.

This. Them.

I wanted them to ask me to move into their house. I wanted to fall asleep every night next to Otto. Or Huxley, Ace, or Bennett. They made me feel safe. And if I was being honest, it had been a really long time since I’d felt that way. Ten years to be exact. Not since that sex tape got leaked.

It was like I had been walking on a tightrope, waiting for my life to implode ever since.

And I had the most horrible feeling that it was finally about to. I was going to lose them. I just knew it.

I felt a tear run down my cheek and I quickly brushed it away.

I took another deep breath and opened their white picket fence.

My camming had nothing to do with them. And yes, I probably should have stopped doing it as soon as I kissed Otto.

But at the time I didn’t know where I stood with him.

Or any of them. And now I did. So I was coming clean.

But only because Titan threatened me. I sighed. Fuck my life.

Nothing I said would explain it right. But I had to try. I knocked on their door.

I thought about waiting to tell the guys the truth until after I’d found the cure for them tonight.

But I didn’t want them to choose me because they were grateful.

I wanted them to choose me because I was…

me. I wanted them to want me as much as I wanted them.

And I’d never know for sure if I waited.

But when Titan opened the door with a scowl, I immediately regretted my choice.

Part of me just wanted to turn right around and run away.

But I refused to give him the satisfaction of blackmailing me.

This ended now. I was done letting men take advantage of me.

I wasn’t ashamed of what I did for a living.

I was proud of who I was. I’d taken a terrible situation and made the best of it.

And fuck Titan for trying to make me feel small.

For making me feel guilty when I’d been nothing but brave since that tape got leaked .

“Zoey,” he said. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the doorjamb instead of letting me in.

“Mount Othrys.”

For just a moment he smiled. “This is unexpected. Are you here for one last fuck before I show them your video?”

Who was I kidding? I wasn’t brave. My stupid tears wanted to start falling again.

I’d been threatened with a video before.

I thought I’d be stronger this time. More prepared in some way.

But I felt like that same girl I did ten years ago.

I felt young, and na?ve, and stupid. I felt completely alone.

When I didn’t respond, he frowned. Like my lack of reaction wounded him.

A tear fell down my cheek before I could lift my hand to hide it. Shit. I tried to wipe it away, but Titan had already seen it.

Titan’s frown deepened. “Zoey…”

“Zoey?” Otto’s familiar voice immediately made me feel better.

He appeared next to Titan in the doorway.

I smiled. God, it was so good to see him.

“I didn’t think you were coming tonight. But I’m glad you’re here. Come on in.”

I glanced at Titan. He was still frowning.

“Cut it out, man,” Otto said. “You’re scaring her.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. “Ignore him,” he whispered to me.

It was a little hard to ignore Titan. But I felt calmer when Otto was holding my hand.

“I’m glad you came,” he said. “I missed you last night. ”

“I missed you too. It’s easier to sleep when you’re beside me.”

“I know.” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “We’re thinking of a solution, I promise. But in the meantime, what do you want for dinner?”

“Oh…um…”

“Just to clarify, I’m talking about where you want to order take out from. I’m a shit cook,” he said with a smile.

God, all I wanted to do was stay and eat his terrible cooking. “I’m not actually staying for the game. I just wanted to speak to all of you about something important.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes. No? I don’t know.”

“You’re kind of freaking me out, Zoey.”

“Could you just get everyone?”

He nodded. “But is this about me not coming over last night? Because the easiest solution is that you just move in here. With us. I haven’t brought it up to the guys yet, but I know they’ll agree.”

Did he just ask me to move in with him? I was going to start crying all over again.

“Or…not.” His smile was gone. “I wasn’t trying to upset you. I just missed you and…”

“It’s not that, Otto. I actually really like that idea. But I… I just… Can you please go get everyone? I need to talk to all of you.”

He nodded. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

His hand fell from mine. I felt cold as soon as I stopped touching him. I wrapped my arms around myself as I watched him go up the stairs.

Otto wanted me to move in .

I wanted that. I’d just been thinking about a future with him. With all of them.

And now? All I could feel was Titan staring daggers at the back of my head. I tried to ignore him like Otto had suggested, but I couldn’t shake it.

I closed my eyes, remembering when I’d first seen the tape of myself online. How I’d curled up in bed and just cried.

They weren’t going to understand.

No one understood.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

“I should have known you’d use tears to get your way,” Titan said.

I couldn’t open my eyes and look at him. I just wanted to be curled up in that bed again. God, love sucked. I was done with this feeling in my chest. I just wanted it out.

I closed my eyes even tighter. “I’m going to tell them the truth, Titan. So please delete the video.”

“You’re really concerned about a video of you naked being spread around? You’re naked for everyone almost every night.”

I can’t breathe. “Just delete it. Please.” My voice came out croaky and weird.

He snickered. “Your tears won’t work on me, doll.”

I wrapped my arms tighter around myself.

“Zoey?”

The familiar voice made me open my eyes. Bennett was standing in front of me looking very concerned.

He gave Titan a terse look before turning back to me. “Otto said you were upset…” he put his hand on my shoulder. In the most comforting way. I wanted to just collapse into his arms .

But that wasn’t why I was here. He wasn’t going to be comforting me. He was going to be breaking up with me.

I took a step back from him.

He lowered his eyebrows. “Zoey, what’s wrong?” He went to close the distance between us, but I put up my hand to stop him.

“I just need to talk to you guys.”

“We’re all here.”

I hadn’t heard the twins come downstairs either. I’d never seen them look so serious.

I’d give anything to be here to just hang out with them. I wanted Bennett to grab my hips and pull my closer. I wanted Ace’s kisses. And Huxley’s sinful words. And Otto’s loving gaze.

Instead, I took another step back from them, so I could see them all at once.

This was going to be okay. I’d be fine. I’d picked myself up once before and I’d do it again.

And I was going to leave them with the cure.

Maybe one day they’d look back on our time together and just remember that. That I’d helped them.

I was pretty sure I was seconds away from just plopping down in the center of the foyer and crying. I just needed to get this over with.

“I feel like I need to start at the beginning,” I said. I ignored Titan as he walked over to the other guys.

“Ten years ago, when I was in college, I was with a couple of guys at once.” I swallowed hard. “I really enjoyed it.”

I tried to ignore the way Bennett frowned.

“But I didn’t enjoy the fact that they leaked a sex tape of me afterwards.

I didn’t know they were going to share it with anyone else or that it would end up online.

” But I probably should have. I was so fucking dumb.

“And I…” God, why was my voice shaking? “I’ve never felt so…

scared. I don’t even know if that’s the right word.

I was upset, and angry, and hurt. I felt exposed in a way I never wanted to be.

” I didn’t bother to wipe my tears away this time.

“Ah, fuck,” Titan said.

I looked at him. The smug smile was gone from his face. For the first time ever, he wasn’t staring at me like he hated me.

I tried to ignore the way the other guys were looking at him.

I wasn’t telling them this to get Titan in trouble.

It was just important to the story. “I never felt so alone in my life. And because I enjoyed being with them…I think I felt this shame in my chest. So I tried to bury that side of me. It was the only time I’d ever been with multiple guys. Until the four of you, that is.”

I sniffed. “In the strangest way, I think being with the four of you helped heal that piece of me, you know? And taught me that I need that. And that it’s okay. And I’ll always be really grateful to all of you.”

“Zoey, we don’t care if there’s a sex tape out there of you,” Bennett said. “We’ll find the fuckers and fix it.”

That’s what I’d needed ten years ago. But that wouldn’t help anything now. And he wouldn’t want to help me after I told him the rest.

“That’s not the whole story. For weeks after it happened, I didn’t know what to do.

And then people eventually found out it was me.

I kept getting all these DMs from people wanting things from me.

Pictures. Videos.” God, there was no right way to say this.

“I felt so weak. And I thought that maybe I could take back control of my life. If I was in the driver’s seat.

I wanted my power back. I didn’t want anyone to hurt me anymore. ”

“Zoey, it’s okay,” Otto said. “Bennett’s right. We can take care of this for you.”

I shook my head. It wasn’t a problem that needed fixing. Because I was the problem. Rip the Band-Aid off. “So I started a MyFanatics account. At first I sent people there that found me in the video. But then I wanted to be anonymous. So I started wearing a mask and a wig.”

I’d wanted to see their reactions. But I didn’t anymore. They didn’t look upset. They just looked confused. Because why would someone do that? Why had I done it?

Stop it. I knew exactly why. “At first it just made me feel like I had my life back, on my terms. But I was good at it. Really good at it. Even back in college, I was making more money than I would have at any dream job I could have gotten after graduation. And it wasn’t just that I was good at it. I liked it. So I kept doing it.”

Here goes nothing. “And I still do it. I have one of the top 20 MyFanatics accounts.”

Okay…now they looked pissed.

I swallowed hard. “At first I didn’t know where I stood with you guys. Otto kept giving me mixed messages…” Putting the blame on them was definitely not the answer.

“You’ve been doing this the whole time we were together?” Otto asked.

I was surprised that he didn’t sound upset.

But I knew he was probably just hiding it.

Trying to make light of a conversation that was anything but.

I appreciated that. I appreciated him. I nodded my head.

“I should have stopped as soon as you guys asked me out. But I mostly just chat with one of my friends on there. And ask this other guy questions. I…” I let my voice trail off.

That wasn’t entirely true. “Yes,” I said.

“Can we see one of the videos?” Otto asked.

I was surprised by that reaction too. More surprised than him not sounding upset.

“Um…yeah. Titan has one.”