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1 JASON

Radio blaring and windows down to let in the warm summer breeze, Jason speeds down the freeway, feeling good.

As they are most years, football tryouts have been grueling, but they’re over now, leaving Jason free to enjoy his last weekend of freedom before he goes back to work full time next Friday.

The new school year might not start until the week after, and he might not have as much prep work as some of the teachers, but there’s a lot more to get ready as the PE teacher than most people realize, especially with his second job as head football coach at the high school. Hell, he's spent all summer working on his playbook, watching old game tapes, and looking for ways to help his players achieve excellence. Losing several members of his starting lineup to graduation left a gaping hole in the team, but Jason is looking forward to the challenge. Though, perhaps not as much as he’s looking forward to this afternoon.

Taking the next exit onto Carrillo Street, he turns up his music until he can’t hear himself think, feeling his fatigue fade with every mile he drives closer to his brother’s house. When Charlie, one of his older brothers, originally threw him a barbecue to celebrate Jason’s last weekend of freedom during his first year of teaching six years ago, none of them realized it would become a tradition.

Jason has the route to Charlie’s house on the top of the hill memorized, and it only takes a few side streets and turns before he feels worlds away from the freeway. Cruising down the palm tree lined street in the cozy suburban neighborhood Charlie calls home, Jason can’t help but smile. Most of the houses in this area were bought by developers and rebuilt in the last few years, but Charlie’s little bungalow sits nestled at the end of the street in all its aged glory.

The house might be small and unassuming compared to its neighbors, but the property in the back is massive because of its location on the corner, which affords picturesque views of Santa Leon and its coastline. According to Charlie, the views and privacy are exactly why he bought it. Jason also privately thinks it’s because Charlie was the first of them to get his own home and wanted a backyard big enough for them to get together. Granted, they have their parents’ house, which they all still frequent, but there’s something special about hanging out with your brothers watching the sun set behind the glittering coastal views.

By the time Jason parks in the driveway and makes his way down the side yard, he can hear Charlie’s atrocious taste in music blaring over bluetooth speakers. Despite the volume, his music isn’t loud enough to drown out the sounds of Charlie and Andrew bickering. Jason pushes open the side gate to find his twin brothers facing each other, identical looks of exasperation marring their faces.

If it weren’t for the fact that Charlie looks like he got dressed in the dark in his neon green shirt, paint-stained jeans and cow print crocs while Andrew looks like he just came out of a board meeting in pressed khakis and a button-down, Jason isn’t sure he could tell them apart, especially not since they got the exact same haircut. The jury is still out on whether they did it on purpose. Neither of them will answer him when he asks, so he assumes it’s another one of their weird twin things.

“The patio furniture is fine,” Charlie tells Andrew, brandishing a pair of bright yellow tongs at him like a weapon. “Chill out and sit down.”

“I’m always chill,” Andrew protests. “But if I weren’t, it would be because you don’t take anything seriously.”

“I take anything seriously that warrants it.” Charlie shrugs.

“Do you two ever stop bickering?” Jason interjects, pretty sure neither of them noticed him come in.

“Oh, Jason’s here,” Andrew says, validating his theory. “Hi.”

“We don’t bicker,” Charlie says. “I tell him he’s wrong and he denies it. It’s a very friendly conversation between two adults.”

In a clear ploy to annoy Andrew, and in sharp contrast to actual adult behavior, Charlie sets down his tongs on the edge of his barbecue before inching backwards to move one of the potted plants behind him. Despite Andrew’s growing frown, he pushes it into the center of the patio, something even someone like Jason, who doesn’t have strong opinions about how other people organize their yards or homes, thinks looks strange.

“You’re absolutely insufferable,” Andrew sighs, wasting no time moving the plant back to where it was before. “I’m trying to give your yard a semblance of order.”

“Who said I wanted order?” Charlie counters at the same time Oreo, one of Charlie’s outdoor cats, streaks by so fast Jason only gets a brief glimpse of her black fur before she disappears into the bushes behind Agnes, Charlie’s mostly blind cat who is asleep in the shade. There’s no sign of his other cat or the dog.

“I need a beer to handle you two,” Jason groans, desperate for something cold to drink. While he wasn’t the one running drills at tryouts, spending all week kicking his kids into shape after most of them spent the summer eating junk and not exercising was enough to give him a raging headache.

“Beer and Coke is in the cooler,” Andrew helpfully supplies. “With ice, because I brought some over.”

“Yeah, well, who bought the beer?” Charlie asks.

“Me,” Andrew smirks. “You know because I put it in your fridge last week when I brought you groceries because you were living on takeout.”

Charlie opens his mouth then closes it again, clearly realizing he can’t argue. Jason laughs, shaking his head before walking to the large red cooler situated on the edge of the deck. He flips the lid open, grabbing a beer and popping the can. He chugs half of it before he realizes Andrew and Charlie are staring at him.

“What?” he asks, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Where’s Theo?” Charlie asks.

“Uh, at home I’m assuming. Why?”

“Why?” They echo, abandoning arguing in favor of doing that freaky twin thing they do where they can speak in complete unison without even trying. “You two always come together.”

“I mean I called him on the way over but he didn’t answer,” Jason says, refusing to tell them about the time he’d used his spare key a few weeks ago and got an eyeful of something no brother ever wants to see. He realized then it’s smarter not to use his spare key unless it is an actual emergency anymore. “I did talk to him last night, though, and he said he’d be here with Alec.”

“Huh,” they both say, heads cocked to the left at the exact same angle. With their hair now cut in exactly the same style, Jason is reminded of when they used to dress more alike growing up and no one, not even their parents, could tell them apart.

“Stop that,” Jason grumbles.

“Stop what?” They ask in such succinct unison it weirds Jason out. They turn to look at each other as if having a telepathic conversation that makes Jason feel left out.

With a heavy sigh, Jason takes another chug of his beer and wishes Theo were here. Or Alec. He loves his older brothers, really he does, but they’re a lot easier to handle one on one or with someone else as a buffer. It’s probably a good thing neither of them really date because he can’t imagine where a significant other might fit with that bond. Anyone partnering with either of them would need nerves of steel, that’s for sure.

“I’m going to go inside and check on the food,” Andrew announces.

“What’s there to check on?” Charlie asks, already trailing after him like a lost puppy.

Once they’re inside the house, Jason takes advantage of the silence to relax, letting his stress and worries fade into the background while he sips his beer and stares at the horizon. His own house doesn’t have views like this, but he’s only a ten minute drive from the beach which he prefers, especially since his dogs love it. Still, he’s going to appreciate the view while he can.

Unfortunately, his peace is short-lived because ten minutes later, Andrew comes out of the house carrying a tray of vegetables for the grill. Behind him, Charlie follows along, yammering about some art show he has coming up next week and whether Andrew is coming with a plus one.

“Why would I bring anyone?” Andrew frowns. “I’m perfectly happy single.”

“Are you though?” Charlie asks, looking unexpectedly concerned. “I wonder sometimes if—” but the rest of his words are cut off by the familiar high pitch of his youngest brother Alec’s voice.

“The party has arrived, fuckers.” Seconds later Alec appears, coming down the side of the house with his usual shit-eating grin in place. One step behind him is Jason’s childhood best friend Theo, whose eyes track the backyard in search of Jason. The second he sees him, he holds his hands up while he mouths an apology.

“You’re late,” Andrew says.

“Thirty minutes, big deal.” Alec shrugs. “Besides, we all know that no party truly starts until I arrive.”

“Sometimes I don’t think your ego can get any bigger, and then I’m proven wrong,” Charlie says, looking like he’s trying very hard not to smile.

Alec merely smirks. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re wrong,” Andrew deadpans, earning him a middle finger from Alec. The gesture is immediately followed by a hug. With his arms wrapped around Andrew, Alec rises onto tiptoes to whisper something that has Andrew exhaling a heavy breath as he smiles. Some of Jason’s earlier tension melts away.

For all Alec’s brashness, the truth is that he’s got a way with people, particularly those with the highest walls like Theo and Andrew. After another whispered interlude that has Andrew laughing, Alec moves on to Charlie, who he engulfs in a hug.

Taking the opportunity to steal his best friend, Jason nods in the direction of the patio furniture, hoping his meaning is clear. Without waiting to see if Theo is coming, because he knows him well enough to know that he will definitely follow him, he bends down to snag another beer for Theo from the cooler. When he turns his head to glance behind him, he’s gratified to see that Theo is indeed right there. He offers Jason an easy smile and a thanks as he accepts the beer.

“I really am sorry for being late,” Theo tells him, waiting until Jason’s occupied one half of the couch before settling himself in one of the armchairs opposite him. “Alec was?—”

“I do not want to know,” Jason interrupts, holding up his hand. “We talked about this when you two started dating, remember? Details are so not necessary. Ever.”

“We’re not late because we were fucking,” Theo laughs, but his cheeks flush.

“Aw, it’s adorable that you can blush about that,” Jason teases, not sure he will ever get tired of seeing Theo lovesick. After a lifetime of watching him run away from anyone who even mentioned feelings, it seems fitting that someone as stubborn as his baby brother is the only one to break through his walls. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? Except sex with my brother.”

“I have no desire to talk about fucking Alec with you.”

“Sometimes I fuck Theo,” Alec yells from across the yard, the nosy fucker.

“No one needs to know that,” Jason reminds him, shooting Alec the middle finger.

Alec’s laughter rings out loudly, fading away as he gets caught up in conversation with the twins. Jason returns his attention to Theo, surprised to find him intently staring.

“What?” Jason asks.

“You know that goes both ways right?” Theo pops open his beer, taking a slow sip while fixing his blue eyes firmly on Jason.

“What does?”

“That you can talk about anything with me,” Theo clarifies.

“Uh-huh,” Jason hums. “Of course I know that.”

“Good.” Theo taps his fingers against the can, turning towards Alec and the twins when Alec laughs loudly again. His attention isn’t diverted long, but the lovestruck expression on his face as he stares at Alec has something uncomfortable churning in Jason’s gut. He gulps down his beer, hoping to push the feelings away.

“So how were tryouts?” Theo asks when he’s finished making heart eyes at Alec.

Jason brightens, both at Theo’s attention returning to him and the welcome change of conversation. “They were good. I’ve got a handful of returning players so we’re gonna have a solid start. We lost a couple amazing seniors, though, so it’s gonna be tough to fill in all the gaps on my starting line.”

“Think you guys will take it all the way to state?” Theo asks.

“Hard to say with my starting cornerback and receiver off to UCLA this year.”

Theo whistles and Jason nods. The difficulty of high school sports is how rapidly the lineup changes. No matter how good his starting line is, it’s never forever.

“I’m sorry, Jason. That’s rough.”

“It’s all good, you know I love a challenge. Besides, some of the kids who tried out were pretty good. Sanchez and Smith both tried out again, which is a no-brainer since they were on my reserve last year. They never made it off the bench, but they showed up to every practice and game without complaint. They’re hungry for it this year.”

“You’re going to start them, aren’t you?” Theo asks.

“Hell yeah.” Jason smiles. “Aside from them, well, a few of the other players were in rough shape but that happens. You know as well as I do how easy it is to go soft after seven weeks of summer if you slack on training. We even had a couple freshmen who puked on day one. They didn’t make it through to the last day, but some of the newbies really held their own. They’re green as fuck, but I like their dedication.”

“You always did love an underdog.”

“I like an opportunity,” Jason corrects. “Every player has something to offer.”

“Spoken like the head coach of state champions.”

“Cheers to that.” Jason grins, still not over his team making it all the way last year. It’d been a bright spot amongst the stress of Alec’s accident and recovery last year and the realization that his best friend was apparently dating his youngest brother.

It means a lot that Theo understands how much this team means to Jason. He’s not just the coach. He teaches these kids and he loves it. Watching some of them live out their dreams feels damn good, as does having the privilege to help them do it.

“We should talk,” Theo says.

With three little words, Jason’s good mood evaporates.

“Oh no,” Jason groans. “Please don’t tell me something bad happened between you and Alec. If you two ever break up, I might die. Then you’d have my death on your hands. Do you really want that?”

“You and Alec are both so goddamn dramatic,” Theo snorts. “We just got engaged, we’re not breaking up. Besides, you know how I feel about him.”

Jason exhales a heavy breath, nodding. When he reaches for his beer, he’s surprised to find it empty. Before he can try and get another one, Theo is passing over his own half-full can.

“Thanks.” Jason leans back and stretches his long legs out, resting his feet on the arm of Theo’s chair. “So what’s up then?”

“It’s about you.”

“Me?” Jason frowns. “What about me?”

“Are you happy?”

“What the hell are you on about? I’m always happy.”

“Happy like I was happy?” Theo pushes and Jason wishes he could be mad at Theo for seeing through his bullshit.

“Look, I’m ninety-five percent happy, alright?”

Theo looks the opposite of happy, his face pinching up in a familiar expression. “Last month at Alec’s birthday you said?—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jason interrupts. “We do not need to bring that up. Consider that a momentary lapse in judgment.”

“I’m serious, Jason. You’ve been there for me through all my bullshit. Let me do the same for you.”

“Fuck you very much,” Jason grumbles. Theo is the only one who can pull that shit with him and have it work, something he damn well knows. He scrubs a hand over his face, the prickle of his three day beard rough and scratchy. He really does need to shave.

“Me and Alec were talking and?—”

“You and Alec talk about me?”

“Of course we do,” Theo answers as if he can’t believe Jason is surprised. “You’re my best friend, and for all the shit you and Alec give each other, you know he adores you.”

Unwilling to examine why that makes him so happy, Jason focuses on the fizzle of carbonation in his beer. He sips it slowly.

“Fine, maybe I was a little bit jealous when we talked at Alec’s birthday.” Jason hates that he has to admit this, but he can’t exactly demand emotional honesty from Theo and then be a dick and refuse to offer it in return. “We’ve always done everything together, and you’re doing something without me.”

Theo’s face falls, which is exactly why Jason didn’t want to say anything.

The last thing Jason wants is for Theo to feel guilty. He’s so happy with Alec, and yeah, maybe Jason is a little, or a lot, jealous sometimes because things are changing in ways that have shifted his relationship with Theo, but that doesn’t mean he wants to acknowledge it. Besides, it's not like Theo is neglecting him. They still spend plenty of time together, albeit often with Alec now too. Which, again, isn’t even a problem. Jason loves his pain-in-the-ass little brother. He’s so happy for both of them, and that is exactly why his weird feelings should remain a non-issue. He really shouldn’t have said anything, but he’s never been able to lie, especially not to Theo.

“Shit, Jason.”

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jason sighs. “It’s not like I’m wallowing or anything. It’s just hard sometimes, you know? I think seeing you happy and ready to get married has me thinking about things.”

“Things like?”

“Man, you go to therapy for a few months and suddenly you’re my therapist? I think I liked it better when I was the one asking you questions.”

Theo knocks Jason’s feet off the chair. “Smart ass.”

“Wow, Alec has been a really bad influence on you.” At Theo’s laugh, Jason finds himself relaxing. This is just Theo, the person who knows him best in the world. If he can't be honest with him, who can he be honest with? “Maybe I’ve been thinking a little bit about how I’m thirty now and how weird it is that my baby brother and my commitment-phobic best friend are both getting married before me. To each other , no less.”

“You’re not upset, are you?”

“Fuck no,” Jason says, refusing to let Theo worry about that. Yes, it’s still weird for him sometimes, and yes, maybe he occasionally feels like a third wheel, but he doesn’t resent either of them. “I’m so damn happy for both of you. I promise. It’s just a glaring reminder of how single I am, you know?”

Theo’s expression softens. He leans forward, elbows on his knees as he lowers his voice, likely so they’re not overheard by any of his nosy-ass brothers. “Do you want to start dating again?”

“Who said anything about dating?” Jason balks, horrified by the very prospect. Just because he’s lonely doesn’t mean he wants to date.

Theo holds his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m just saying, you haven’t been on a real date since Nicole. I know things ended badly, but maybe it’s time to get back out there. You know, if that’s what you want. Which, judging by what you said, I feel like maybe you do, even if you don’t want to admit it. You played wingman for me for a long time, so it's only fair I get a chance to return the favor.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I’m not looking for anything right now,” Jason assures him. “Besides, the start of a new school year is always busy. It’s not like I’d have time to try and date even if I wanted to.”

“Maybe you’ll meet someone at school,” Theo says.

“Dude, half the staff is over fifty or married already. Everyone else is either not my type or—wait, why are we still talking about this?”

“Because you want a relationship.”

“How the hell did we go from me maybe going on a date to a relationship?”

“Because I know you,” Theo answers. “You are the most monogamous man I’ve ever met.”

Much as Jason wishes he could deny Theo’s words, he can’t. Unlike his best friend, Jason was never built for the casual one-and-done thing, which is why it’d been so easy to throw himself into work and playing wingman for Theo whenever his past relationships inevitably failed. He’s always found it easier to focus on other people and what they need, but with Theo off the market and his own normally busy schedule in its summer lull, there’s been way too much time to think about himself lately. He does not like it.

Staying busy is the way to go, which is why Jason can’t wait until the new semester starts. Then he can pack his schedule full enough it won’t matter if he sometimes misses Theo or gets lonely. Or both.

“It’s okay to want something for you, you know?”

“Alright, therapy session is over,” Jason grumbles. At Theo’s earnest expression Jason sobers. “Fine, fine. I can want things for myself. Blah, blah, blah. I meant what I said before, though. Besides starting next week, I’ll be too busy to think about dating, but if for some reason I change my mind and decide I want a girlfriend—which I won’t by the way—then you’ll be the first person I tell.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, Daddy, I promise.”

Theo flips him off, his smile familiar and safe.

“Excuse me,” Alec interrupts, draping himself across Theo’s lap with a self-satisfied grin. “The only person who gets to call Theo ‘Daddy’ is me.”

“Gross,” Jason groans, covering his ears. “Fuck off.”

“I did earlier, thanks.” Alec leans back, resting his head on Theo’s shoulder and giving him a smug smile that Theo should be discouraging. Instead, all that happens is that Theo blushes while wrapping a possessive arm around Alec’s waist to keep him in place. It’s as sickening as it is sweet, and Jason is never going to get used to it.

“If it helps,” Theo starts, directing his attention back to Jason, “Alec doesn’t call me Daddy. He’s just fucking with you.”

It does not help because the seed has been planted, and Jason does not want a single mental image of his best friend and baby brother fucking. He doesn’t say that though because he strongly suspects Theo might start filtering himself for fear of bothering Jason. He’d rather deal with unwanted mental images than lose another part of his relationship with Theo.

“So what were you two talking about?” Alec muses. “Let me guess, me?”

“I know this is hard to believe, but the world does not revolve around you,” Jason points out.

“Excuse me, but if I’m not the center of my own fucking life, what is the point?” Alec says, reaching for Theo’s hand. He links their fingers, pulling it up over his chest looking happier than Jason’s ever seen him. The thought sets off another rush of unwanted emotions churning in Jason’s gut. He does not want to be jealous of his baby brother or his best friend. They both deserve this.

“So, tell us more about this team of yours,” Theo prompts, offering Jason a welcome distraction.

Relief floods Jason at the chance to focus on something besides himself, and he feels a smile pull at his features as he starts to talk. Charlie and Andrew join them a moment later, hanging on his every word like he’s talking about the NFL and not a high school football team, but it feels good, a sense of stability settling in Jason’s chest as thoughts of relationships and loneliness fade into the background. This right here, an evening surrounded by his favorite people, is all he needs.