Page 10

Xenobia

I t was a quiet, moonlit night at the mansion. The clock mocked me. Its ticking was a constant reminder of Adonis’s absence. I paced my room, each step stoking the bile threatening to spew from my throat. Logically, he was scouring information, trying to find the mole, but realistically, I wanted him in bed beside me. The clock flashed an angry one o’clock a.m., and I was tired of waiting.

I paused at the window, tracing a finger along one of my scars. The cool glass reflected a face I barely recognized anymore—eyes too hard, jaw too set. It wasn’t me. This wasn’t living.

“Fuck it,” I muttered, resolve crystallizing. “I’m done waiting.”

I carefully eased open my door and slipped into the shadowy hallway, my heart bucking like a wild bronco against my ribcage. The mansion felt different at night, oppressive—like it was trying to swallow me whole, but I wouldn’t let it. Not tonight. I crept past paintings of stern-faced Hawthorne patriarchs, their eyes seeming to follow my every move.

At the top of the grand staircase, I hesitated. What if Adonis catches me? What if — No. I squared my shoulders. I knew the risks of sneaking out, but the uncertainty was eating away at me. My period had been a few days late. As much as I wanted to chalk it up to stress, I knew all too well how many times I’d allowed Adonis to spill his seed inside me. Dressed in all black, I moved silently down the stairs, avoiding the creaky floorboards I knew all too well. I descended quickly, each step carrying me closer to freedom. To danger. To knowing. The foyer loomed ahead, moonlight spilling through stained glass. Almost there. Just a bit further and—

A floorboard creaked behind me.

Shit.

I froze, my heart hammering against my ribs. Slowly, I turned, praying it was just my imagination. But there he was, a dark silhouette cutting through the moonlight, his presence as unmistakable as it was unwelcome.

“Going somewhere, Xenobia?” Adonis’s voice sliced through the silence, sharp enough to draw blood.

I lifted my chin, defiance surging through me. “What’s it to you, Guardian?”

He stepped closer, and I saw the fury etched into his features. But something else was there, too, and my stomach twisted.

“You know damn well what it is to me,” he growled. “Don’t play games.”

I sucked my teeth, the sound hollow even to my ears. “I’m not.”

“Then what are you doing sneaking around so late?”

“I need to go to the store.”

His brows cinched together. “The store? For what?”

“It’s personal.”

“Cut the bullshit, Xenobia, and go back to your room,” he ordered.

“I’m serious, Adonis. I need to make a store run. It’s important.”

“To get what? Why can’t you put in a delivery order?”

“So I can have all the guards looking at my tampons? Is that what you want, Adonis?” I fumed.

Adonis frowned. “Shit, Nobi. That’s T-M-I.”

“Are you happy now? Maybe next time, you’ll take my word for it.”

“C’mon, I’ll take you.”

I paused. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

Reaching the back door, I took a deep breath and slowly opened it, wincing at the slight creak it made at the forty-five-degree angle. We slipped out into the cool night air and headed to the garage, where he quietly started one of the less conspicuous cars and drove toward the gates. As Adonis maneuvered through the dark streets, my mind galloped with thoughts of how I’d purchase a pregnancy test under his watchful eye, what it might reveal, and how the results could change our lives forever.

I huffed while focusing my attention out of the passenger window. “Why the fuck can’t I be useful? How am I supposed to run this shit one day if no one gives me anything to do?”

Adonis’s jaw clenched. “I—”

I rolled my eyes before cutting him off. “That’s what I thought. I’ll be the patriarchal figurehead, but in reality, useless as a three-dollar bill, and everyone will know it.”

He glanced at me, his eyes softening momentarily, and I felt my determination flicker. Dammit, why did he have to look at me like that?

“Xenobia, please,” he said, his voice low. “I can’t protect you if you—”

“I know you mean well. I swear, I do. But I want to fucking live , Adonis. Can’t you understand that? I need to do something to help,” I said, hearing the tremor in my voice.

He ran a hand down his beard, frustration radiating off him in waves as he stopped at a red light. “So what’s your fuckin’ plan, Xenobia? What happens if you get hurt? Or worse, when a nigga’s got a gun to your head ready to finish what he started?”

I swallowed hard, fighting back the lump in my throat. “Then, at least, I’ll have lived.”

I watched his face, the moonlight casting shadows that made his expression sharper. He took a step closer, and suddenly, I was hyperaware of every inch between us.

“Nobi,” he said, his voice softer. “I get it, alright? But trying to sneak out in the middle of the night for some fuckin’ feminine products ain’t the way.”

I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore how my heart was racing. “Oh yeah? Then what is?”

His eyes searched mine, and he heaved a heavy sigh. “We’ll find something for you to do and learn so that you can help more, alright? It’s not like you don’t know how to shoot a gun or administer basic first aid. You’re not useless, Nobi. You’re the center of our world. My world, at least.”

The intensity in his gaze made me look away. I couldn’t deal with it, not now. Not when everything inside me was screaming to run. Not that it would matter. He’d just catch me, lock me in my room, and incinerate the key.

“Whatever,” I muttered, folding my arms across my chest.

We arrived at the nearest twenty-four-hour pharmacy, parking a safe distance away to avoid drawing any unwanted attention. I pulled up the hood of a black jacket and hopped out, hoping to blend in with the night’s shadows. Once inside the store, I asked Adonis to find me some Ibuprofen while I quickly located the aisle with the feminine products. Luckily, the pregnancy tests shared the same shelves. My eyes scanned all the options, hands trembling as I grabbed one and tucked it underneath my armpit.

With the test hidden underneath the boxes of tampons I knew I probably didn’t need, I headed toward the counter, avoiding direct eye contact with the night shift cashier.

Adonis approached me midway. “I got the Ibuprofen.”

“Toss it on the counter. I’ll be done in a minute,” I told him.

He stepped away, allowing me to purchase my goods in peace. After shoving the plastic shopping bag into my purse, we hurried back to the car, and Adonis drove us back to the mansion. My nerves were on ten the entire way home, anticipating what would happen after I took the test.

“I’m going back to bed,” I announced as soon as we stepped back into the mansion.

Adonis nodded, and I felt his hand on my lower back as he guided me toward my room. I tried to ignore the warmth that spread from his touch. Back in my room, I locked myself in the bathroom and paced like a caged animal. My mind was a mess, replaying every moment with him. The way he looked at me, the concern in his voice. It was driving me up a fucking wall.

I sat on the edge of the closed toilet seat, the plastic box feeling as heavy as a boulder in my hands, despite its weightlessness. What would he do if the test was positive? He was already overbearing enough. Adding a baby to the mix would mean I’d never get a chance to breathe. But then again, I was happy to be potentially carrying the heir of someone I loved instead of having to endure some old, wrinkled man climbing on top of me and forcing me to have his babies.

“Fuck, I’m too nervous to take it tonight. Maybe I’ll do it in the morning,” I mumbled.

I glanced at my phone; it was still early morning, and the first rays of sunlight wouldn’t show for hours. Maybe I’ll sleep on it.

“No. I have to know now.”

My chest inflated with a deep breath as I stood up, my legs turning to mush. The sound of the box ripping open somehow seemed enhanced in the stillness. My eyes pinged from left to right across the unfolded paper, carefully reading the instructions. After all, it was my first time. I followed the steps to a T, trying my best to keep my mind from going down the rabbit hole of thoughts swirling around in my head. After what felt like an eternity of waiting to pee, I placed the test on the edge of the sink and sat on the closed toilet seat, waiting for the longest three minutes of my life. What would I do if it turned up positive? How would I tell Adonis? My father?

There was a knock at the door while the timer on my phone sounded off. I jumped, feeling like a jittery mess.

“Yeah?” I called out.

“You good?” Adonis inquired.

“Yeah,” I lied. “I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute.”

I drew a lungful of air and stood to my feet, slowly approaching the edge of the sink as my heart hammered away. I closed my eyes and picked up the test. My lids blinked open, and I stared at the results window. Two lines appeared, visible and sharp. Positive.

Fuck.

Pregnant? Me? A baby with Adonis? The son of my family’s enemy?

A part of me fluttered with the excitement of creating a new life with the only man I’d ever loved. Still, there was also an unexpected ache of disappointment and fear—fear of what would happen when our world found out about our child, the protection that would entail, and the responsibility to keep someone other than myself alive.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I muttered as an emotional storm overtook me.

I pushed out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding and flopped back down on the closed toilet seat, my mind spiraling faster than I could process. I couldn’t help but think about the future and all the changes to come. I hadn’t expected motherhood to be the next chapter in my life, but the universe was funny like that sometimes.

I must’ve dozed off at some point because the next thing I knew, I was jolted awake by a commotion outside. Shouts and curses echoed through the halls, sending my heart into overdrive.

I scrambled out of bed, nearly tripping over my feet as I rushed to the door. My hand hesitated on my stomach for a second before I yanked the door open, curiosity overriding caution.

“Twenty-two-seven-fourteen.” I mumbled the code to the panic room as I descended the staircase.

The sight that greeted me at the bottom made my blood run cold. In the middle of the foyer, there was a bloody mess of… something. It took my brain a moment to process what I saw, and when it did, I felt my stomach lurch. It was a human head. Mutilated, eyes gouged out, with a knife sticking out of its skull. A piece of paper was pinned to it, words scrawled in what looked disturbingly like blood: “ You’ll pay for your sins, Guardian. You’re next.”

“What the fuck?” I whispered, my hand flying to my mouth.

Adonis was there, as always, his face a mask of controlled fury as he barked orders at the security team. His eyes met mine briefly, and I saw a flicker of concern.

“Get everyone inside, now!” he commanded, his voice cutting through the chaos. “Seal all entrances. No one in or out without my say-so.”

I had one job—get to the panic room. Yet, I stood there, frozen, as people rushed around me. The air felt thick and suffocating, and I was overloaded with fear and anger.

“Xenobia.” Adonis’s stern voice snapped me out of my daze. He was suddenly in front of me, his hands gripping my shoulders. “Are you alright?”

I nodded numbly, unable to tear my eyes away from the gruesome display. “The Toussaints… your father again?”

His jaw clenched. “This is his style—brutal and direct.”

“What do we do? And who… who was that?”

Adonis’s gaze hardened, a determination I’d never seen before blazing in them. “One of your dad’s guys. Mine would never go alive. Wash your hands of this shit, Xenobia. We’ll protect you. Your father is almost done finalizing plans, and then we will go on the attack.”

Despite everything, a warmth bloomed in my chest at his words. I wanted to say something, to tell him about his baby growing in my womb, to thank him, but the words caught in my throat. Instead, I just nodded, trying to convey everything I couldn’t say with my silent gaze.

“Come on. Back to bed, Nobi,” he instructed softly, grabbing my hand and pulling me upstairs as my father ran down the stairs and saw the head.

His eyes popped wide as he gripped the railing for balance. One look and I knew his stomach had soured on sight, just like mine.

“Ah fuck,” he said, “It’s Giovanni. Someone clean this fucking mess up. Adonis, get your ass to my fucking office! Now.”

Adonis dipped his chin as he ushered me into my room, leaning down to kiss me on the forehead. “Xenobia, I have to deal with this, but I will be in bed before the sun rises all the way, alright?”

“What time is it?”

He glanced at his gold watch. “Quarter to four.”

I nodded, halfway smiling up at him. “Okay, Adonis, just… be safe,” I said softly, needing him now more than ever.

He nodded stiffly, his eyes dark and stormy. “Always, Nobi. Sleep, alright? I’ll deal with this shit and your father.”

With that, he was gone, leaving me alone in my room, haunted by the image of that severed head and the knowledge that tomorrow would likely bring a whole new level of hell, all with the secret knowledge that I was carrying his baby.