Page 54 of Magick and Lead (Dragons and Aces #2)

ESSA

W e winged our way through the nighttime sky, over a black ocean glinting with silver-tipped waves.

Kortoi in the saddle in front of me, my dagger against his neck.

Above, stars flickered in and out of existence as clouds passed in front of them.

The only sounds I could hear were the rush of the wind over Othura’s wings and the fast, nervous thudding of my own heart.

I stared out at the point where both sky and sea were swallowed in darkness, feeling a terrible emptiness inside me, as if someone had opened me up, taken all my insides out, and sealed me up again, hollow. But it wasn’t because I was leaving Charlie behind, I told myself.

It certainly wasn’t that…

Or Kortoi’s vision…

Essa. Othura’s voice whispered in my mind. I hear him.

I knew exactly who him was.

I don’t want to hear him, I told her.

I think you need to ? —

No!

This was hard enough without feeling his voice, or worse, feeling his emotions.

Because that’s what the simnal connection was—not so much a transmission of words, but of inner feelings.

I didn’t want Charlie to know what I felt.

How badly he’d hurt me when he betrayed me.

How much, in spite of everything, I wanted Othura to wheel around and fly back to him.

How much I yearned to throw everything away for him, from my kingdom down to my very self-respect.

But I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t throw myself away for a man who’d betrayed me.

Lied to me. Killed my sister. Broken my kingdom.

I was no little girl, to be jerked around by the kite strings of her stupid heart.

I was queen of Maethalia. And even if I wanted to cast myself into the Cauldron for Charlie’s sake, I wouldn’t throw away the people of my kingdom. Not for him. Not for anyone.

He wanted to come and meet up with me in Maethalia. Here, in the starkness of moonlight, I saw just how impossible that was. He was lucky I hadn’t killed him. Reuniting with him would be madness. Even if… even if the vision I’d seen in the scrying bowl didn’t come to pass.

Essa!

The cry ripped through my mind, making me startle. Not Othura’s voice. Charlie’s.

“I told you not to let him through!” I was so upset, I blurted it aloud.

“What’s this?” Kortoi crooned.

“Shut up,” I said. “It doesn’t concern you.”

If I have to hear him, you have to hear him , Othura said.

Then block him out!

I won’t, Othura said. And neither should you.

Essa, please! Charlie’s voice came again, and with it a sensation of heat this time. The prelate’s vision flashed before my eyes again, unbidden. Charlie, surrounded by flame. Burning.

You know as well as I do that visions from the Void are not to be trusted. It could be a trick, I told Othura.

But even as I transmitted the thought, I doubted it. Rarely did the visions destroy people with lies. More often, they destroyed them with the truth. I sensed Othura’s doubt, too.

We could still go back… she suggested.

We could. I could go back. Save Charlie… and in doing so, I’d be betraying my kingdom for him a second time.

Perhaps you’ve forgotten why we came to Admar in the first place, I told her. To free Parthar of his bond.

Othura snorted. I knew you would never kill Charlie. Not once you saw him again.

Oh, because you know everything about me? Because dragons are so wise , they know their Skrathan better than a Skrathan knows her own heart?

People often say so… Othura said.

Well stop saying it. I know my own heart.

“If I may,” Kortoi said.

“No,” I shouted. “You may not.”

“I know what you saw in the scrying bowl,” he said. “And I know you must be feeling conflicted about it. Just know you’re doing the right thing, going back to Maethalia with me.”

“Shut up,” I said, but he continued, undeterred.

“We can build a new order together, Essaphine. We can stop the bloodshed within Maethalia.”

“You mentioned that. But there would be no bloodshed if you hadn’t started a coup and released a horde of murderous golenae,” I snapped.

“You’re wrong,” he replied. “Things were bending in Maethalia. Sooner or later, they’d have broken. It was inevitable.”

Suddenly, I felt Othura’s body go rigid. Her wings faltered in their flapping, causing us to dip for a moment before she resumed her rhythm.

Othura? You okay? I asked.

Fine, she said. But I could feel the lie. Whatever terrible potion Kortoi had given her, it was working. And getting worse.

Essa! Charlie’s voice again. I shut my eyes and gritted my teeth, blocking him out. I couldn’t go back for him…

“Some would say I did you a favor by upending things in Maethalia,” Kortoi said.

“A favor? You killed my mother, destroyed Issastar and caused thousands to die,” I told Kortoi. “Now control your poison tongue before I cut it out of your head.”

He tsked. “My, my, how you sound like your mother,” he said. “You’ll make a good queen. With a little guidance.”

“You have no idea how close you are to having your throat slit, Mage,” I snarled.

Essa! Charlie’s voice again.

“Shut him up. Please!” I begged Othura.

“Me? Or the voice in your mind…” Kortoi said. “The voice of your dying lover?”

I pressed the dagger harder against his throat, a twitch away from drawing blood. I felt a rumble of laughter rise from his chest.

You can let Charlie burn, Othura said. But I won’t let you pretend it isn’t happening.

I growled, a sound of pure, carnal frustration. “Shut up!”

“You’re going through a lot. Why don’t you just set me down here?” Kortoi said.

For a second, I didn’t understand what he meant, then I squinted down and saw a dark shape on the surface of the water. A landmass. And further away, off to my right, fire and explosions in the distance. This was Dorhane—the frontline of the war.

Being dropped off on Dorhane was what Kortoi wanted. And I hated giving him what he wanted. And yet, I couldn’t endure his presence for one more second.

Wordlessly, I shifted my weight, guiding Othura into a dive. In minutes, we were gliding to a rest atop one of the island’s rocky cliffs.

I roughly shoved Kortoi off Othura’s back. He hit the rocky ground and rolled to a halt. Then I leapt off myself, my dagger ready.

“You promised to cure Othura,” I said. “Do it. Now.”

I was fully prepared for what would happen next, as Kortoi stood and brushed the dirt off his robes. He would refuse to help Othura. I’d kill him. Then, I’d have to find some way to save Othura before that dark poison of Kortoi’s consumed her. That, or I’d lose her…

But the prelate smiled and gave a small bow. “Of course,” he said.

Few men have the courage to approach the deadly jaws of a dragon, but Kortoi did so calmly. Othura watched him, one edge of her mouth drawn in a snarl.

The explosions of war boomed far away, rolling across the wasteland like distant thunder.

The dark priest leaned in until he and Othura were nose-to-nose, then he inhaled deeply. As I watched, a string of smoke was drawn out of Othura’s mouth and into Kortoi’s. The prelate turned and blew it out again, like a draught from a pipe, then looked to me with a shrug.

“There. All done.”

I looked to Othura’s eyes. Indeed, the darkness that had clouded them before was gone.

I turned to Kortoi again, my fist tightening on the dagger in my hand. I could kill him now. Fulfill my objective. Rid my kingdom of a terrible blight. And he seemed to know it. His eyes danced from the blade to my face.

“You can try to kill me,” he said. “But you told me you would drop me off here safe. It is written: an Irska always keeps her word. You wouldn’t want to be the first to break that sacred tradition, would you? And besides, your dragon here isn’t the only one with teeth.”

He champed at the air, clacking his teeth together, then laughed.

I stared at him, not trying to conceal the disgust I felt.

“Come find me when you’re ready to begin rebuilding Maethalia. We’ll do it together,” he said. “But for now… I’ll leave you to your choice.”

And with a flourish of his robes, he turned and walked off into the mist, whistling tunelessly.

I looked to Othura and her fiery orange eyes met mine. As always, there was no judgement there. Only perfect love. Perfect understanding. Sometimes, it was harder to look at her than to stare into the sun. She saw me as I was, saw the truth in me—always. It was almost impossible to bear.

I glanced down at the dagger, still clutched in my trembling hands, and sheathed it.

Then I looked out across the sea. East, toward Maethalia. Then west, toward Admar.

My heart ached. I felt like I was being pulled in half. My kingdom. Or Charlie. How many times would I have to make the same terrible choice?

“Do you still hear him?” I asked. I felt my bottom lip trembling and caught it between my teeth.

Faintly, now, she said.

I took a deep, steadying breath. “Then fly like a gale.”

I ran and hurled myself up onto Othura’s back, and we vaulted into the starlit sky.