Page 15

Just focus on the water , Enda told himself, as he relaxed against the side of the bath, letting his limbs float through the water as they wanted to. It was a huge tub, it held a lot of water, and whoever had designed it had clearly planned it for two people to use in comfort instead of one. Enda tried not to think about his missing mate and focused on having a moment’s quiet as he struggled to work out the mess of emotions in his head. There were so many things going on.

Finding out that he wasn’t truly claimed – or rather he was claimed but not double claimed. What did that mean? Was that not claimed in a shifter way? Was that because he was a phoenix? Or because Giorgio was a hellhound? Enda had always believed a claim came with a bite, and apparently for hellhounds, it was when the collar clicked around Giorgio’s neck. How much more claiming did a person need?

Enda didn’t feel unclaimed, but then the only difference he felt after being claimed was the constant presence of another person in the back of his head. He felt safe with Giorgio. Well, he had, before the big galoot opened his mouth and shit came out. Enda had his own nerves to deal with, and Giorgio hadn’t seemed to factor that in at all when he was making his grand plan for “operation double claim.”

That hurt. Enda didn’t consider himself a wimp by any stretch of the imagination. He had survived too much for that. He didn’t think he was a complainer by nature, either. Again, he had gone through too much and realized quite early on in his life that there was no point in complaining about things he couldn’t change.

And it wasn’t as though he was desperate for his phoenix to be free, either. After having his father try to kill him for the last fifteen years, his phoenix was safest tucked away and hidden in his body.

Although Enda also knew that that was incredibly sad for his bird spirit, who did deserve to spread their wings, even if it was just the once. But, when it seemed the impossible was right there in his grasp, it had been snatched away like so much else in his life.

Life happens, he told himself. Focus on the water. Focus on the fact that in this moment, you are safe, you are comfortable, you have a full belly, and you have the chance to relax.

Unfortunately, the soothing mantra wasn’t working as well as it normally did. Part of that was because of his mating bond. Enda was aware that Giorgio seemed to be having a running conversation with his hound, although Enda couldn’t hear what was actually being said. It was like listening to a neighbor having a conversation on the phone, in the house next door.

Swishing the water around him, Enda smiled. One of the best things about being a shifter was having another spirit inside of them. Even when a shifter was all alone in the world, there was always someone there to speak to, even if it was an extension of themselves.

Enda’s bird had been a source of comfort through the years, even after they’d both accepted that they would never shift. They had accepted it, they’d played life with the hand they had been dealt. It wasn’t like we could do anything else.

And now...

It was clear from the way Giorgio had laid out his instructions on how he saw their double-claiming process, that he believed Enda was all hard cock and damp trousers, eagerly anticipating the chance to stick his dick in his mate’s ass. The joke’s on him, then. Enda hadn’t been sure he would’ve been able to do his part, even if he was given the chance.

Enda hadn’t felt any of the excitement or eagerness Giorgio was clearly anticipating. He’d tried to pass it off as a joke because, quite frankly, the thought of doing that terrified him.

It wasn’t something Enda had done before, it wasn’t something he’d ever thought he’d wanted to do. The most he’d ever done prior to one horrible experience and then meeting Giorgio was a few hand and blow jobs with fellow servers on the party boat, usually younger people like himself who didn’t want to be the dominant party, either. Enda preferred things that way. When he met Giorgio, part of the appeal was that his mate was a huge alpha-type with a protective instinct a mile wide, and strong arms to shelter him in.

Had Giorgio considered that Enda might be nervous about being the penetrative party? That maybe Enda might have to go against his nature to complete the deed?

No. Giorgio’s tension had increased from the moment he’d mentioned it, and that was something Enda didn’t understand. Why bring something up if Giorgio had never wanted to do it in the first place?

There’s still so much I don’t know about my mate, he thought, swishing the water softly, enjoying the opportunity to relax after what had been some rather tense days. With his eyes closed, Enda dreamed of what a perfect life would look like.

Travel – Enda loved seeing new places, and there were so many cities he’d only dreamed about from the deck of the boat as they moved from port to port. What would it be like to walk the streets, peer into the shops, and visit the markets and historic buildings? Giorgio’s been alive since before they were built, he thought with a chuckle. I bet he could tell me some stories about them.

Building a home together. Enda longed for a permanent home. He’d been traveling and moved about pretty much his whole life, and Enda really wanted to feel like he could walk through a door, close it behind him, and know that he was safe.

None of that is going to happen until my father leaves me alone. A sobering thought. Enda considered it was rather sad that the one person who wanted to kill him was also likely his only living relative. Not the most relaxing of thoughts.

There was a noise by the door, and then it opened. Enda kept his eyes closed. It could only be Giorgio. Giorgio would give his life to prevent anyone else from getting near Enda, especially when he was naked and vulnerable. Enda just didn’t think he could face seeing Giorgio’s stoic expression again so soon.

That was one of the things that had hurt him the most, the way there was no affection included in Giorgio’s plan for the double claiming – not even a kiss. It was as if Giorgio believed that all Enda had to do was sit down and prop his cock up, Giorgio would sit on it, and the deed would be done. Enda mentally shuddered. Letting anyone close to him without any level of affection was the stuff of nightmares.

Enda wasn’t that fond of sex. It wasn’t like he spent his teenage years with a permanent hard-on. In fact, he barely got one at all. He was aroused by Giorgio, definitely. But Enda saw sex as so much more than where someone stuck their dick. Enda was more aroused by the slide of skin on skin, of touches – hard or soft, but with affectionate intent – and kisses. Lots and lots of kisses.

Is it too much to ask that my mate agreed with the affection side of things? I thought we were meant to be perfect for each other.

Giorgio and he had gone through so much in such a short time, but when all that tension and stress was stripped away, they still had so much more to learn about each other.

He felt rather than heard Giorgio stepping into the water, and he moved his legs to one side so there’d be plenty of room, still keeping his eyes closed.

Giorgio’s hands were warm and firm on his ankles before moving down to stroke his feet. “Am I forgiven for being a douchebag?” Giorgio asked quietly. “I let my nerves get away from me, and as my hound told me, I definitely overthought things. I never once considered your feelings in what I was processing, and for that I am truly sorry.”

Eyes still closed, Enda smiled. “I appreciate that. Thank you.” Of course, now Giorgio was near him, his cock thought it was a good idea to get in on the action. But Enda ignored it, the way he tried to ignore all the other worries that never truly went away.

He appreciated the feel of Giorgio’s strong hands on his feet, gently stroking the top of his feet and stretching out his toes. Enda had had so little experience with positive touching, it was like his skin was a sponge just soaking it all up.

“Affection is a strange concept for hellhounds,” Giorgio said, and Enda loved that he kept his voice low as well. It helped create the illusion they were in some kind of a bubble and could enjoy being cut off from the entire world, just two people together.

“We’re affectionate within our pack – especially in our hound form. It was never anything sexual, but we would sleep in puppy piles, and we had no problem showing support in a dog-like form. We didn’t consider those actions affection because we were hounds, and it was just what we did. When we were given a human form and moved to Earth, the whole idea of being affectionate with non-pack members was difficult.

“I guess, although we walked on two legs, a lot of the habits that we had ingrained in us came from the thousands of years we lived in the Underworld first, in our hound form. Any of my mated packmates would tell you they didn’t understand the importance of showing affection, having date nights, or doing things like breakfast in bed when they were first with their mates. They’d never had to do anything like that before.”

“We had our little tea ceremony,” Enda said. “That was a lot of fun, and I bet none of the other hellhounds have thought to do something like that.”

“I’m almost certain your guess is right,” Giorgio agreed. “They probably haven’t, but then I’m not sure they appreciate a cup of tea. They’re more coffee and toast people. I do need you to know that when I look at you, I want to surround you with fluffy pillows and soft affection. I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

“And it’s very hard sometimes because of the threat that you have against you. I also need to protect you as well. And then sometimes my logical brain just gets caught up, and the affection, which is not natural to me, is something that I forget completely. And that’s why I fucked up what should’ve been a very beautiful and wonderful first for both of us.

“When you meet the other mates of the packmates, they will tell you funny stories about how they had to quite literally train their hellhound to treat them the way they deserve to be treated. And don’t ever think that just because I am bigger or older or stronger or anything else, I wouldn’t listen to you. I will sit there at your feet or cradle you in my arms and listen to every word when you explain how you want to be treated if you’ll just tell me.”

Giorgio gave an embarrassed laugh. “Which is what I should have done with this double-claiming business. You’re quite right. I tried to run it like a military operation, and none of what I laid out sounded fun for either one of us. There was no insult implied at all, please believe me on that. But yeah, I just figured if I could pin down the details, then the actual sensations involved in the act could be something I wouldn’t have to think about.”

That had Enda’s eyes flying open. “What on Earth? If you don’t want to have anal sex, then you don’t have to. Nobody should ever force you to do that if you don’t like it. I don’t even understand why you felt that you had to do something that is so against who you are and what makes you comfortable. That’s just not right.”

“Normally, I would agree with you.” Giorgio’s hands were moving softly up to Enda’s knees. “But first, I don’t know for sure that I don’t like it because I’ve never done it, so, that was just unfair of me – definitely overthinking on my part. And second, the Fates put you in my path for a reason. We are meant to be helping each other. You have no idea how glad I am that I was there to save your life – the relief of knowing if I hadn’t been there, if I hadn’t heard you…”

“That’s no excuse to participate in a sexual act you’re not comfortable with, though. I was nervous enough about the whole idea for both of us.”

“That helps.” Giorgio chuckled. “Believe me, that helps. I thought… yeah, we already know too much about what I was thinking, but I will admit I let my fears overtake my common sense. If I had just taken you to bed, kissed you and held you, enjoyed being with you, without all the stupid planning and processes, then it would likely already be done by now. Although, I am enjoying this bath with you. This is relaxation at its finest.”

“It is and at least I don’t have that soft dick problem anymore. But the thing is” - Enda made sure he caught his mate’s eyes and held them fast with his own - “I need to know that you trust me never to do anything that would cause you pain or concern. The way you outlined everything screamed of distrust to me – that you didn’t believe that I could make you feel good.”

Giorgio winced. “Again, not intentional, I promise.”

“I am not a fan of being the penetrating party,” Enda enunciated clearly. “I can’t explain why, it’s just never been something I’ve wanted to do or dreamed about doing before you and I met. Don’t you see? In that respect I’m the perfect mate for you. So, this would have only been the once to cement the claim and do that one thing that would allow my phoenix to fly free – I wouldn’t do it for any other reason, and again, we don’t have to do it all if you don’t want to.”

“You were given your animal spirit for a reason, and I fear as we get closer to your father and we work out what’s going on and why it is that he’s trying to kill you in the first place, I do believe your phoenix is the key to this. If it wasn’t, then your father wouldn’t be so scared of it. So, yes, this is something that needs to be done. Something I do want to do for you. I just went about it the wrong way. Can you forgive me for before?”

“You already know I have.” Enda sighed as he smiled. “I’m not the best at telling you what it is I like, but I’ll try. I know I found a safe harbor in your arms. You’re the rock between me and a world that really doesn’t make sense to me. My skin longs for your touch, and your kisses set my body on fire. Is that clear enough for you?”

Half the water disappeared from the bath as Giorgio surged forward, covering Enda’s body with his own, his lips scorching Enda’s mouth as they joined in a kiss. All the worries Enda had disappeared in a sigh. This is what I wanted, he thought as he gripped Giorgio’s shoulders so he didn’t sink.