Page 34 of Magic in the Music (Magic and Mysteries #4)

After everyone else had left, Samantha asked Cassian to place some food on the plate and pour tea into one of the glasses she had found, hoping that it wasn’t too hot to pick up.

When he did so, she attempted to use a spoon to scoop up some potatoes but the utensil went through the food as if it was not there.

Apparently, anything that originated in this room could not blend with anything from outside.

Except, the liquid did manage to remain in the glass and Samantha was able to drink from it on her own.

Very odd indeed, but at least she would not need to rely on Cassian when she was thirsty.

Thank goodness she was able to eat and drink, and it was likely because she was also from the outside, or she would likely die. It was the only explanation she could form.

She then attempted to write a short note, which was just her name.

When Cassian was able to read it, she set it aside to see if anyone else could when they returned.

And, with disappointment that she could not feed herself, Samantha allowed Cassian to do so and he placed morsels of food to her lips until she was full.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

Only then did he drink and eat.

“Why me and why now?” Samantha asked after they’d both finished. “I have been at Nightshade Manor for nearly two months. I spent hours in the magical vault and never heard the music until recently. So, why now?”

“They did not tell you the whole of it,” Cassian said quietly. Samantha had a right to know that it wasn’t simply to keep a soul from ever loving.

“I sensed, in their music, that something was being kept from me.”

“They likely did not think that it was pertinent to your situation.”

“What is it?” Samantha’s tone was shaky with fear.

Cassian explained how the curse had been intended to punish those who have broken a heart to never love again.

“I have not done so. If I have, I was not aware and I would apologize immediately.”

He hated himself for what he had done and now he was the one who must tell her.

“That was the general agreement among the witches,” Cassian said before he explained how the warlock’s angry and broken heart had mingled with the curse so that those with a troubled heart are also affected.

Samantha frowned. “Troubled heart?”

“Or maybe one that is hurting such as his was.”

She grew quiet and stared into the glass of tea.

This was his fault!

Was she being reminded of what had happened before she heard music. Was she now blaming him?

How could he possibly make this right?

Or was he assuming too much and it was simply guilt for loving her when he shouldn’t. Was there another who had hurt her?

Maybe if he explained her heart would no longer be troubled and then she would be free. The witches claimed that the piano had not fully claimed anyone.

Maybe the answer was that simple.

That is, assuming he was correct in his failure to kiss her had left a troubled heart.

His throat tightened with how to even begin the conversation because if anyone should be stuck in here, it was him. And, if he explained, maybe the room would take him instead of her. Cassian would even be willing to play the piano if it meant that Samantha could be free.

“Do you remember what happened the night of the lunar eclipse and Haloa?”

Samantha looked away. “Some.”

Maybe if he began with a more interesting part of the evening, it would be better than just telling her why he had not kissed her. “Is it true that you saw a fairy?”

“Yes. A mischievous one at that.” The corner of her mouth tipped slightly. “I sensed it in her music. In the music of all the fairies.”

“You said she poured grog into your wine?”

He needed to make certain that was something she saw, not imagined. However, he suspected that it was true because nobody was that inebriated from so little wine.

“Yes.” This response was said with more irritation.

“I had already drank it before I was warned. But I am still amazed that such a tiny amount could have such an effect. I’d never been that well…

deep into my cups. How do fairies even manage if they drink the same amount as I did when they are so much smaller? ”

“Fairy magic, I suppose,” he answered.

“Yes, well, I wish I would have possessed it that night because I had never experienced such a headache and upset stomach the way I had the next morning.”

Cassian couldn’t help but chuckle. It was amazing that men still drank to excess after suffering one hangover, yet it never stopped them from getting deep in their cups over and over. He was just as guilty of such foolishness.

“Is that why you will never drink wine again?”

“I will never drink anything that could cause inebriation. One night of humiliation and a day of suffering is more than enough.”

“Humiliation?”

Samantha shook her head. “When people drink too much, they do foolish things, and we shall leave it at that.”

Except he could not. “I was wondering if you remembered everything about that night.”

“I assume that I do,” Samantha answered as she got up from the settee and moved to the other side of the room. “I remember enough and I apologize for disturbing you.”

“You did not disturb me,” he insisted.

“I did! And there is no reason to discuss it further.”

“Except, I do not think you realize that I had wanted to kiss you.”

Frown lines appeared on her forehead when she narrowed her plump lips and narrowed her eyes.

Was she angry or did she not trust him? If she could hear his music, then she would know he spoke from the heart, and how he had fallen in love with her, but she could not, which was also likely for the best.

She notched her chin and crossed her arms over her chest. “If that is so, then why did you not?”

“There are two reasons,” he answered.

“The first?”

“To kiss you would be taking advantage of your intoxicated state. I feared that you would regret having asked me, or worse, not remember.”

“You said as much that night, but it does not reduce my embarrassment by any means.”

“There is no reason to be embarrassed,” Cassian assured her.

“Is that so?” Samantha tilted her head and studied him. “Does that mean that if I had been completely sober that you would have kissed me?”

Why did she have to ask him that question of all questions?

Then again, when he told her the truth, maybe the piano would take him and free her.

“No.”

* * *

Troubled heart, indeed.

Yes, hers had been for days when he sometimes seemed to want to kiss her, and they enjoyed conversations only for Cassian to distance himself then come close to kissing again. No wonder the piano had called to her.

However, troubled was nothing compared to the rejection of the night of Haloa, or now, to hear his rejection while she was quite sober.

But she would retain her composure.

“Thank you for being honest.”

“It is not that I did not want to.”

“That makes no sense Cassian. Do not say you want to kiss me but will not because you are trying to protect my feelings or a similar weak excuse men use when they want to discourage a female. Simply tell me that you do not think we would suit, which is polite, and it will never be mentioned again.”

“That is not it,” he insisted.

Samantha sighed and anchored her fists on her hips. “Then, what is it?” There was absolutely nothing that he could say that would make her believe that his rejection was anything more than he did not want to encourage her and had no intention of courting her.

“I am not worthy of you.”

Samantha searched his eyes and strained to hear music that did not exist because she was not certain what to believe. Except, what she read in the grey depths was honesty and anguish, which left her even more confused.

Why?

“You honestly believe what you are saying.” She hoped to see a flicker of guilt or shame to indicate a lie, but there was none.

“I have nothing to offer anyone and could not provide what a lady, the daughter of an earl, would expect.”

He truly believed that he was…what…beneath her?

Did he assume that would be her opinion of him?

Samantha wasn’t certain if she was more shocked or angry. “What would that be?” Samantha demanded.

“Estates and wealth. The same life and privileges she had enjoyed since birth.”

“I see.” Samantha tapped the toe of her slipper, irritation growing. This entire time she had assumed he simply did not want to kiss or court her. Instead, he appeared to have made determinations on her behalf.

“As you know, the estate once owned by my family is in France, and while it stands, the belongings were ransacked and the vineyards burned. I want to reclaim it. It is all I have.”

“I understand why you would want to return.”

“That is why I did not kiss you.”

“I am trying to understand, but it is difficult. It was a kiss.”

“I will not kiss a woman that I cannot court.”

“Are you saying that you would have kissed me if you wanted to court me even though you had wanted to kiss me but not court me?”

“I want to kiss and court you, but I cannot.”

“Why?” There was absolutely no reason and a part of her still wondered if he was making excuses so that her heart was no longer troubled and would be freed from this place.

“I have no funds to support a wife. What I do have will be used to reclaim and then rebuild my family estate, and why I could never court a woman because I could never ask her to consider an uncertain future.”

He had assumed much and made up his mind without even asking her opinion.

Pride! Men were often led down a dangerous path because of their blasted pride. “Do you think this is what she meant?”

“Who?” Cassian asked.

“Iza Boswell,” Samantha clarified. “She told me to be careful where I wandered and that it could be dangerous.” She glanced at the piano.

“I thought it was because I wandered down a path and asked for a kiss.” She tried to blink away the tears.

“I wandered, my heart was broken, and Iza’s predication came true.

Therefore, I did not think there was anything of danger in the house, well, other than what was locked away in the vault. ”

At least he winced when she claimed a broken heart.

“I guess there were two places I should not have wandered.” She drew in a breath.

“Here and to your home!” Her hands began to shake as her body grew warm.

Neither sensation was familiar as she had rarely had cause to be angry, but she would not lash out at him.

“You have assumed much, Cassian,” she offered, her tone much softer and calmer than she was experiencing.

“Such as what was best for any woman you may want to kiss and what their opinions would be. Maybe you should have asked instead.”

“The decisions…rejection would be the same in the end. It was better not to kiss you and retain the friendship that had developed between us.”

Her anger rose, at his making a decision that affected both of them without even consulting her.

“Thank you for explaining, Cassian.”

“I am sorry, Samantha, but I could never ask you even to consider such a future.”

“I understand.” She smoothed her hands on her gown.

He blew out a breath. “Thank you.”

“You misunderstand,” she returned. “I understand that you are a fool or you think your excuse will somehow lessen your guilt or my pain. Either way, it makes no difference.”

“It is not an excuse.”

“Then you are simply a fool. That is, if you truly do mean that you would kiss me if your situation was not currently reduced.”

“Samantha, I swear, if my circumstances were different, I would not only kiss you but court you.”

“I appreciate you assuring me, but it is not necessary.” She pointed to the door. “I would like to be alone now.”

He hesitated, then walked to the entrance but did not step over the threshold.

“Iza was right about you, too, Cassian.”

He turned and frowned, confusion in his silver eyes.

“I would like to be alone,” she said again, without offering an explanation.

He stood there for the longest time, staring into her eyes, then finally left.

Samantha remained standing and listened as his footsteps retreated down the corridor and until they disappeared.

How dare he assume what she would want or what she expected!

If she did not need him to survive, Samantha would insist that he never return.