Page 25 of Magic in the Music (Magic and Mysteries #4)

Cassian wished that he could get the image of Samantha's bare legs out of his mind, but he accepted that he may never forget.

When he stepped into the cottage, the darkness enveloped him. It was nearly as suffocating as the loneliness that he had come to associate with his home.

Maybe what he needed was a wife. At least he would have someone to share this cottage with, share his life, and eventually children.

There were several families in Bocka Morrow who had daughters of marriageable age.

Those parents were merchants, sailors, some were farmers out in the country.

All of them used to living in reduced circumstances.

Though he was not poor, his life compared to that of a wealthy earl was lacking.

Maybe he could even find the perfect miss who would not mind being poor to banish Samantha from his mind.

He crossed to the sideboard and grabbed a bottle of brandy and a glass.

The men were likely near to passing out beside the bonfire, and while the women were not so deep in their cups, they were in better spirits than he had ever seen them before.

Cassian decided to join them and poured a glass of brandy.

However, before he could take one sip there was a knock at his door.

Setting the glass aside he strode across the entry wondering who had come for him and was concerned that something may have happened at the temple that required his attention.

Who he was not expecting to find was Samantha.

“Why do you not want to kiss me?” she blurted out without bothering with a greeting or explanation for being at his door.

“I never claimed that to be the case, Samantha,” he answered slowly, slightly taken aback by her presence and question.

“Yet you have not done so.” She jerked a finger in his face to emphasize her point. “Therefore, I can only assume that you do not want to.”

“Do not assume anything,” he warned and wondered at the change in her. Samantha would never be so bold. She was a quiet, gentle creature...at least usually. Cassian’s eyes narrowed as suspicion settled in his gut. “I have my reasons,” he finally answered.

“I understand.” She lifted her chin and started to turn but not before he saw the sadness in her blue eyes.

He had hurt her, which had never been his intention, but how to explain?

Even if he did provide his reasons, it was likely Samantha would not remember.

“I believe you are drunk.”

“I am not,” she insisted.

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Only one glass of wine. Maybe one and a half.”

He arched a brow. That was not enough to cause anyone to be even tipsy, unless they had never drank wine before. “Did you fill the first one to the rim?”

“I most certainly did not. It was filled as a glass of wine should be when being enjoyed in proper company.”

He nearly snorted on the proper company . They were a bunch of witches celebrating a feast that at one time had included dancing naked and eating cakes made in the shape of phalluses. There was nothing proper about their celebration tonight.

“One glass of wine, that was all?”

“Well…”

“Well what?” he demanded.

Her entire face brightened with excitement. “I saw a fairy,” she announced.

He knew that they lived in the Scared Grove but he had yet to see one, nor had he ever seen the brownies that he suspected lived in his home.

There was no other way to explain how housework got done while he was asleep, or furniture was arranged not to his liking but theirs.

However, it was a minor inconvenience and because he was grateful for the assistance, Cassian often left bread and cream or milk, but never anything else because they would take offense.

“What did the fairy look like?” he asked to humor her.

“Oh, she was so beautiful, Cassian, with hair the color of the sunrise…We should watch the sunrise tomorrow…or today. Do you plan to?”

He blinked at her sudden change of topic a second time.

It was not possible that one and a half glasses of wine could cause her to lose her inhibitions or knock on his door in the middle of the night, and to go on about fairies and sunrises…Fairies!

“What happened when the fairy saw you?”

“I do not think I was supposed to see her,” Samantha whispered.

“What did she do? Anything?”

“She poured whatever was in her bucket into my wine glass, but really, it was barely a drop, though I am certain it was very much for her size.”

“A drop is all it takes,” he said. “How big was this bucket of hers?”

Samantha frowned and looked at her hands as if trying to decide. “No bigger than the end of the last joint of my smallest finger.”

Which was more than a drop of fairy grog. “You are drunk, Samantha, and it is not because of the wine.”

“Oh, you do not believe that such a little amount can affect a human.”

“You drank it even after you had been warned.”

She bit her bottom lip and looked away. “I drank it before, some of it anyway, but there really was not much and I think everyone worries too much about fairy wine.”

Given her state of mind, Cassian decided not to argue the point, but it may be addressed tomorrow, depending on how badly her head ached.

There was also the chance that she might not even remember.

She couldn’t really be here about a kiss, could she? Did she even remember why she came to his cottage? “Why are you here, Samantha? Has something happened at the temple and am I needed?”

“I want you to kiss me,” she answered with determination.

Bloody hell! He should not have asked. “I do not think that is a very good idea.”

Her smile dropped and her bottom lip curled out in a pout. “Why not?”

“Because you are not in your right mind. I have learned that decisions made while inebriated often are regretted the following day.”

Her eyes widened and filled with sadness. “You would regret kissing me?”

“ You would regret kissing me.”

“Oh, I never, ever would. Never. Ever.”

If only he could believe her, but she was deep in her cups and the best thing he could do for both of them was to escort her back to where the women were celebrating.

“I cannot return without you kissing me.”

“Why is that?”

“I told them I was coming for a kiss.”

“You told the women?” Good Lord.

“Yes. Well, I told Maia, Petra and Antonia.” She hiccoughed.

Bloody hell. “Who showed you how to get to the cottage?”

“That was Nina, but I promise that nobody else knew that I was coming here to kiss you. I would not want to ruin you.”

He was going to kill them. Either they were all drunk or they were taking advantage of Samantha in her inebriated state.

“Nina is very nice,” Samantha offered. “I did not know that she was your sister. Why did I not know? I have been here for almost two months.”

He had no answer other than it probably had not been mentioned.

“She has beautiful music.”

“I personally find it irritating.” His own bloody sister had aided in this fiasco.

“No, you do not and I bet she thinks you should kiss me too or she would have never shown me the path.”

“I will not kiss you, Samantha.”

“I did not think you would, which is what I told them.”

“Then why did they send you to me?”

“Because I wanted a kiss,” she admitted. “Sometimes I thought you were going to kiss me but never did.” She frowned up at him. “Why? Do you not want to kiss me?”

“Oh, Samantha, if I could…”

“But you can.”

Yes, he could and now was the perfect opportunity and if she were completely sober and in her right state of mind, the request would be a temptation that he would not be able to resist, but he would not take advantage of her.

“No, I cannot.”

She blew out a sigh. “I knew you did not care for me.”

“I do. I just cannot.”

She stared up into his eyes, studying him as if searching his soul. “I wish I could hear your music, then I would know the truth.”

He was grateful that she could not.

“Why can’t I hear your music, Cassian?”

“I do not know.”

She sighed again, then turned around and as she walked away, she rubbed her hands together then tossed a ball of fire in the air to light her way. He followed from a distance, staying far enough back so that she didn’t know, to make certain that she got safely back to the temple and the others.

Samantha had wanted a kiss and he had been forced to deny her.

How much would he regret that decision in the coming days?

* * *

Samantha awakened to a bright room and had to immediately close her eyes and put an arm over her face to lessen the knife of pain behind her eyes because of the bright sunlight.

Unfortunately, that did not relieve the pounding and pressure inside her skull.

Her mouth was dry as sand and her stomach rolled like the waves of the ocean.

How could one and a half glasses of wine cause her to feel this way?

No, two and a half glasses of wine. She had one after she came back from visiting Cassian.

Her eyes flew open!

She had visited Cassian.

She had asked for a kiss!

Samantha groaned and pulled the blankets up over her head.

Not only had she asked for a kiss but he had refused.

He had turned her away, rejecting her offer while denying that it wasn't because he did not like her.

Why had she done something so foolish? How could she have allowed Maia, Petra and Antonia to convince her to go to him?

Why had she confessed so much to her friends?

Never again would she drink wine.

Ever!

Except two and a half glasses of wine was not that much.

Yet, one included a small, tiny bucket of fairy grog. She had not believed it could be so potent. Clearly that was the reason she had tossed away caution.

They say if one needs courage, to drink from a fairy’s cup. That is what Petra said, and Samantha had certainly become daring.

Then Nina showed her the path and said… wander down that path .

Samantha sat up again, startled at the revelation.

Iza had told her to be careful where she wandered.

She had thought it something dangerous to her physical being, such as what lurked in the outside world like witch hunters who still roamed. She never dreamed that the danger was at Nightshade Manor, in the Sacred Grove.

She wandered down a path that led to her heart being broken.

At least Cassian had been kind enough not to come right out and say that he didn’t want her or did not like her or had no desire to kiss her. Instead, he blamed it on her being drunk.

Samantha supposed that she should be grateful for his kindness but rejection was a rejection all the same. She had not been careful where she wandered and she had been hurt.

Thank goodness that her parents intended to leave Nightshade Manor tomorrow and that she and Malcolm would be going home with them.

Therefore, she would only need to avoid Cassian for the rest of the day and hope that they were gone before he came to the house to break his fast and then she would never see him again.

How could she ever face him?

The very idea made her want to toss up her accounts.

Her next biggest fear was that she may have told her friends what had happened.

All she could recall was leaving Cassian, with a fireball to light her way, heart breaking and wanting to cry, but held it in, then joined the others in the temple where she poured herself another glass of wine in hopes of forgetting that he did not want her.

But that was all. Samantha did not remember talking to anyone or anything after she picked up that second glass of wine.

What did she do after?

How had she even gotten in her bed?

She looked down at what she was wearing, which was the shift that she had under her dress last night. That dress was on the floor with her stockings and shoes. Apparently, she must have come into her chamber, stripped everything off and climbed into bed with no memory of doing so.

At the gentle knock on the door, she called for them to enter. It was Petra who stuck her head around the door.

“How are you feeling?”

“My head is pounding and my stomach is rolling,” she answered honestly.

“That is why I brought you this.” Petra entered carrying a tray with a pot, which Samantha assumed was tea, a cup and toast.

“The toast will help absorb whatever's revolting in your stomach and the tea is a mixture of herbs and magic.”

“Would the use of magic be selfish?”

“Not when it's being given to you by a friend.”

“How are you feeling?” Samantha asked her friend.

“I am fine. I did not have nearly as much to drink as you did.”

Samantha frowned. She may not be able to remember all night but she knew how much wine she had drunk.

“You had three glasses of wine,” Samantha remarked. “Did I have more than two?”

“No, you did not, but according to Cassian, you told him that a fairy poured grog into your glass, and one of the reasons using magic with the tea will not be harmful is because a magical creature assisted in your demise.”

Samantha's face burned at the mention of Cassian and her entire being filled with humiliation.

“What else did he say?” she asked slowly.

“He was just concerned with how you were feeling given your state last night.” Petra smiled as she poured a cup of tea.

Samantha groaned. “What happened after I returned?”

“You do not recall?”

“Not really.”

“It was obvious you were dejected and when we asked what had happened, you said that he would never love you.”

Oh God, she can't believe she admitted having deeper feelings. “Then what happened?”

“You poured another glass of wine, drank the whole thing and then said you were going to bed.”

“That is all?” she asked with hesitation.

“That is all.”

“Did you tell Cassian what I said after I returned?”

“I can promise you that none of us did, not even his sister, Nina.”

Thank goodness for that but it still didn't lessen the pain and humiliation that she suffered this morning. “Do you think anyone would believe that I am too ill to attend the wedding?”

“Even if you were, it is not allowed. The mothers have warned us to be there, be cheerful and smile no matter how badly a head is pounding.”

Samantha fell back on her bed and pulled the blanket up over her head. “But I am not one of their children,” she reminded her friend.

Petra pulled the blanket away from her face “Your mother was one of those mothers so I suggest that you drink your tea, rest a little then begin preparing for the wedding.”

She may do what was expected of her, but that did not mean that she would fully participate and would hide away the best she could and hope that Cassian did not notice her, or worse, want to talk to her.

More than anything, Samantha wished that she could forget that last night ever happened and if it wouldn’t be for selfish purposes, she’d find a spell to erase his memory too.