Page 25

CHAPTER 25

P an didn’t tell Noah the only reason they were being treated as guests was because he had agreed to owe the queen a favor, which he’d need to repay at some point in the future. Two tents in exchange for a dragon. The healer in exchange for Liam and Web. The favor in exchange for him and Noah.

Well, mostly Noah at this point, since he was the one with magic.

He was trying not to let that bother him because at the moment his only skill was translating. And that wasn’t going to be needed for long. The more English they spoke, the sooner the centaurs would understand them. The more Noah listened to the centaurs, the sooner he’d be able to understand them—if he listened for the intent, for the magic in the words, instead of listening with his mind and hoping to make sense of the words.

Noah had offered to share the snacks from the backpack in a show of goodwill, which had not been well received because the centaurs didn’t like chocolate. Liam had then shared several muesli bars, which had been much more popular.

And while they were allowed to move around freely, they were followed by a guard, which was irksome. Did they not realize they were dealing with a god?

They did not.

It seemed the queen and her consort were keeping that knowledge to themselves. Perhaps the rest of the herd would panic if they realized Epona had no magic and no power to answer their prayers. She may even be dead.

He refused to believe he was the only god alive.

Or that he would be stuck without magic for the rest of his life. That he would be a no one. But without magic, that’s exactly who he was. Where once the queen would have bowed to him even as she hated him, now she did not care, and she insulted him with impunity while favoring Noah. He was only sitting with them to be the interpreter.

And also to make sure Noah didn’t say something that resulted with him on the end of a spear. That would be inconvenient.

So he kept his smile fixed in place and did as expected. The centaurs shared their food, and he politely took a couple of bites, but he much preferred what Linda had packed for them. The centaurs also liked the human bread, which was unsurprising.

Noah leaned over. “I need to call my aunt about tomorrow. Is there a way to leave this party politely?”

Pan glanced up at the stars to judge the time, but they were too unfamiliar and without magic to whisper in his ear, he had no idea how late it was. “I will tell her that you need to talk to the tent supplier and arrange the healer.”

He relayed the message to the queen.

“He will use the phone to talk to people far away like a Strega?”

“Yes.” In one way it was the same, while also being completely different. And if he understood the technology, he might have been able to explain it better. Telephones hadn’t been around when he was last in the human world. Photographs had been black-and-white. Now Noah pulled the phone out of his pocket and had taken a photo of everyone around the fire like they were friends. He called it a selfie.

“Tell him to do it now so we can watch.” The queen smiled. She had been answering all of Noah’s questions, and Pan was sure that if Noah asked for a ride, she’d order Beard to trot around the camp with Noah on his back. She wanted him to stay with them. That much was clear.

Noah’s expression was tight, as if he knew the answer before Pan passed along the message. “Meredith may not answer.”

“Then you will call Linda or David and be diplomatic.” While he’d never met David, since he was married to Meredith, and Meredith was Linda’s daughter, it made sense that he was like them and had the connections to make something happen. The whole family seemed to be involved in the community and making things better for those in town. They were the kind of people he liked giving his blessing to because they multiplied the magic and used it in ways he couldn’t envision.

Whereas people like Web deserved what they prayed for. The kind of people where giving them what they wanted and letting it go askew was entertaining. Those people often wished ill on others to make themselves feel better, and that kind of magic never turned into anything good.

Noah tapped the phone a few times, and it started to make a noise.

The centaurs stared, the firelight catching in their eyes and gold beads.

A woman’s voice came out of the device. “Thank god, Noah, I was worried.”

“Everything is fine, Mer.” Noah glanced at Pan as if seeking confirmation. “You are on speaker phone, as we met up with some centaurs who know where the dragon’s mate is.”

At least Noah chose his words carefully, because like him, the queen and her consort wouldn’t reveal when they had gained an inkling of English, the same way he had not revealed that he spoke their language.

“Centaurs…I shouldn’t be surprised, yet I am. Where are you?”

“It doesn’t matter where I am tonight, but I need you to be at this location tomorrow.” he read coordinates off the map. “And I’m going to send you a link to a particular tent. I need two of them. I also need a vet who is used to working with large farm animals…and broken bones.”

“What’s going on?”

“The dragon is injured. Apparently, her wing and her leg are broken. We’re going to have to load her up onto a truck to move her, or she will be turned into a tent.”

“We don’t have the resources for that.”

Pan leaned over and spoke into the phone. “You will have fewer resources if the dragon burns everything.”

Meredith made a noise that Pan didn’t like. “Silas.” Her tone hardened. “I’m sure there is more you’re not telling me, but you cannot threaten a city with dragon fire.”

How about attacking centaurs? Would that be more to her liking? Or perhaps she’d be more inclined to do more if she was aware that Noah might be kept prisoner. “Without this help, we may not be able to return, and I am acting Lord. I am also the only one who speaks dragon. The male will become upset, and everything will turn to selkie shit.”

Meredith said something in the other language which Pan had not heard enough to learn aside to know it was called Welsh in English.

Whatever it was she said, Noah agreed with. Though it was clear, he did not speak that language very well, either.

Noah tapped the screen and there was no more talk. Instead, he kept tapping, filling the screen with letters. Letters Pan couldn’t read. He’d never needed to know how to read.

He cursed his lack of magic once again.

“What is he doing now?” The queen asked.

Clearly, Noah didn’t want any of them eavesdropping on his conversation. He was being secretive, not diplomatic, which meant he needed to smooth this over.

“He is sending the details of the tent you requested, as well as the requirements for the healer, so they know what treatments to bring. What are the injuries your people have?” That was a pile of lies, but they were plausible, and he relayed the injury list to Noah. With luck, if there was any of that in this magic forsaken world, everything would work out tomorrow.

He stared up at the unfamiliar stars, regretting becoming acting lord and agreeing to help the dragon. But without the dragon he’d be wandering around, wearing a selkie coat and the bright green boots. It would’ve taken him so much longer to run into Noah, and by that time, the female dragon might have been dead.

The queen gave him a description of the various injuries, and he passed the details on to Noah. “Will your healer be able to help?”

“I assume so. Meredith is going to ask the farm vet to attend. It’s not like anyone’s got experience healing dragons. The farm vet deals with cows and horses and such. She told me to conserve my phone battery and not turn it on until morning, so that’s what I’m going to do.” He pressed the button and put the phone back in his pocket. “So what now?”

“Now we wait for dawn, and we pray.”

Noah shook his head and laughed. “I should’ve known that’s what you’d say. That’s all I’m good for it isn’t it? You can’t get these guys to pray?”

“No.” He considered Noah for several heartbeats. “It is not all you are good for. Without you, none of this would’ve been possible.”

“Without me, we wouldn’t be in this mess. I led us here.”

“I choose to believe magic leads us to where we need to be. And this is where we need to be.”

“You said you have no magic.”

Pan put his hand on Noah’s thigh. His lips were just a whisper away from his ear and the temptation to do more than talk was almost too much. If there were no audience, he’d have bitten the lobe and moved his hand higher. “I have no connection to it, but that does not mean it does not exist because you have magic. So I will follow you and pray that you led me in the right direction to find my own.” And if they weren’t in the middle of a centaur camp, he’d have given Noah a proper worship to taste the magic on his lips.

Noah gave him a weak smile. “Right now, all I want is some sleep.”

That was the last thing Pan wanted. He needed magic.

The ache was so bad that he finally understood why humans claimed they’d sell their soul for something, not that he had a soul. “I will find out where they intend for us to sleep.”

He hoped it wasn’t in the tent with the queen and her consort.

He made a joke about humans needing more rest than gods and centaurs before asking about their plans. And because Noah would expect him to ask, he also enquired after Web and Liam.

“They will sleep with the guards,” Beard said. “You and the witch may sleep in the human tent.”

Pan inclined his head, grateful they had some privacy. “Thank you.”

He stood and offered Noah his hand. When they were both standing, he gave a small bow, which Noah mimicked. Gods shouldn’t bow. However, he had little choice but to grovel and beg. Without his magic, no one gave a shit about him.

He was insignificant, and it rankled.

The queen should be bowing to him. She should be asking him for favors, instead he owed her. He was fast becoming an errand boy for all the Tarikians who needed help. First the dragon and then the vampire, and now the bloody centaurs.

The urge to yell in frustration bubbled in his throat.

He wanted to stamp his foot and scream for the old gods to do something. To put things right. But if they still existed, he doubted they cared as they hadn’t done anything. Instead, they’d stranded all of creation in this mess.

How the fuck was he supposed to fix it?

“Should we check on Liam and Web?” Noah asked.

“No, doing that shows distrust. Better to ready ourselves for bed. I trust your friends will not offend our hosts during the night.”

“That’s asking a lot of Liam to keep Web in check.”

As much as Pan wanted to ask about Web, and why he thought he had magic and behaved like some kind of leader, that is not where he wanted to direct Noah’s thoughts.

No children played in the tent now, as their elders had put them to bed. Inside the tent someone had placed several blankets that were not human, as one was decorated with one of Epona’s tales. No doubt that blanket had been selected especially for him. Given the chill in the air, he wasn’t inclined to refuse, despite the jab at his current situation.

Noah crawled into the tent and took off his shoes, placing them in one corner. Then he stripped off his coat and rolled it up to act as a pillow, before lying on his back as if to stare at the stars. He didn’t remove any other item of clothing, which was rather unfortunate.

Pan did the same with his boots and coat, as if familiar with camping in a tent. He didn’t stare at the roof, instead he lay next to Noah, facing him, and pulled the blanket over them both.

“You do not seem very sleepy.” He kept his words low in case one of the guards settled nearby.

“I am exhausted, but my mind is not. It’s spinning furiously, as if trying to make sense of everything. It’s like every thought is sliding on ice and there’s nothing I can grab onto. And if I catch my breath for a moment, whatever stability I thought I had melts and sends me in a new direction.” Noah turned his head and looked at him. “So yeah, I’m tired, but I don’t know if I can sleep surrounded by centaur guards who hunt dragons and want a pet witch and a god.”

When put like that, Noah made a very good case for not sleeping ever again, or at least until they were somewhere much safer. “I agree this is not ideal.”

“Ideal?” Noah rolled onto his side, so they were almost nose to nose. His voice was little more than a harsh whisper. “Everything I have ever known, everything you have ever known, no longer exists. Why are you so calm?”

“I’m not. But I must appear to be untroubled. Because if I lose my shit in front of other people, people who once prayed to me to fix their problems, how do you think they will respond?” The fury beneath the surface caught in his throat and sharpened his words. “I want to scream until I have no voice. Until someone answers. But there is no one. My life until this point…” He closed his eyes, remembering the parties and the way using magic was no different to breathing. He chose who to bless and who to punish. He jumped from place to place, wherever there was a temple, or wherever people called one of his many names.

His names because they like the way he used magic.

He was only as good as his last blessing. Gods fell out of favor if their worshippers didn’t like what they were doing. If they didn’t like the way the magic unfolded, not that he had a lot of control over that. It’s why he was choosy with what prayers he granted.

“You were important, and now you’re like the rest of us. Sucks to be you.”

Pan opened his eyes. It was too dark to read Noah’s features. “You are not like the rest of them.”

“So you keep saying, but I can assure you I am. I’ve spent my entire life trying to live up to my parent’s expectations, and I’m preparing you for the inevitable failure. Whatever it is, you’re looking for…I’m not it.”

“You are. Magic lead me?—”

“I’m tired of hearing about magic.”

For several heartbeats, Pan didn’t know what to say. No one had ever told him they were tired of magic. Magic held everything together. It was the weave of the universe and threaded through everyone, some more than others. And while most could never touch that thread within them, it still existed.

“Then let me show you.”

“Show me what?”

“Your connection to magic.” Let me touch that connection for just one heartbeat.

Noah leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “There. Is that what you want?”

“No.” He wanted Noah calling out his name. Noah was his connection to magic. Sure, it was only a trickle when he was used to a rushing river, but it was there. Perhaps he could encourage Noah to grow that connection. “I was not lying when I said you are the most powerful being here, and while the others will not acknowledge that, I will. And I will give you the deference deserved.”

He pressed Noah onto his back and moved over him.

“What are you doing?”

“And giving you one of my favorite kinds of worship.” He straddled Noah’s thighs and undid the button and zipper on his pants.

“Sex?”

Pan traced one finger over Noah’s firming dick. “Sex is so banal. Anyone can do it, and most do it badly, seeking only pleasure. They never consider what is possible.”

“Sex is for pleasure…and you need to ask first before getting into someone’s pants.” But he didn’t push Pan’s hands away.

Pan leaned over him. He licked the curve of his ear. “Please allow me to show you. Worship you.”