Page 21 of Mafia Pregnancy

Danielle

I wake up with the memory of Radmir’s hands still burning on my skin. The morning light feels too bright, too cheerful for the mess I’ve made of my life. Again.

Leo is already awake in his room, chattering to his stuffed dinosaur about something involving rockets and cookies. The sound of his voice usually makes me smile but today, it just reminds me of everything from which I’m trying and failing to protect him.

I drag myself out of bed and into the shower, letting the hot water wash away the scent of Radmir’s cologne that seems to linger on my skin no matter how hard I scrub.

The memory of yesterday’s encounter in the linen closet plays on repeat in my mind.

I can’t forget the way he looked at me like I was something precious and how his voice went rough when he said my name.

I completely lost control despite every promise I’d made to myself.

Twenty minutes later, I’m dressed and making Leo’s breakfast when Carmen’s familiar knock echoes through the apartment. I open the door to find her holding two coffee cups and wearing the expression of someone who knows exactly what kind of conversation we’re about to have.

“I had a feeling you could use this.” She hands me one of the cups as she steps inside and looks at me for a second. “Rough night?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“You look like you haven’t slept, and you’re moving like every muscle in your body is sore.” She settles at my kitchen table while I pour milk over Leo’s cereal. “Want to talk about it?”

Leo chooses that moment to barrel into the kitchen, already dressed for school but with his hair sticking up in seventeen different directions. “Carmen? Did you bring me a cookie?”

“Maybe next time, buddy.” She ruffles his already disheveled hair. “Go brush your teeth and fix this mess on your head.”

He grins and races back toward the bathroom, leaving us alone in the kitchen. She waits until she hears the water running before speaking again. “You slept with him again.”

It’s not a question, and I don’t bother denying it. “It was a mistake.”

“I’m not judging you. I’m just worried about the timing.” She leans forward, lowering her voice. “How much longer do you think you can hide the pregnancy? You’re almost twelve weeks now.”

“I know.” I sit across from her, holding the disposable coffee cup in a death grip. “I’ve been looking at job postings in other states. Nevada has a lot of opportunities, and the cost of living is lower.”

She frowns slightly but tries to hide it behind a sip of coffee. “You’re really going to run?”

“I’m going to protect my children.” The words come out sharper than I intended. “Both of them.”

Carmen studies my face with an intensity that makes me want to squirm. “What happened yesterday? You look...defeated.”

“When he kept pushing for a reason why we couldn’t indulge in an affair, I asked him to choose between whatever this is between us and his business.” The words come out flat. “When I told him I needed more than just a fling, he said he couldn’t walk away from his world.”

She sighs sympathetically. “So you walked away instead.”

“I had to.” I stand up and move to the window, watching the morning traffic build on the street below.

“I’m afraid of what his world is like. That’s not a life I want for Leo or this baby.

Or myself, if I’m honest.” It feels wrong to think about what I want under these circumstances though, when pursuing what I want has landed me in the same position twice now.

“Have you considered he might be willing to change if he knew about them?”

I instinctively shake my head. “He made it clear yesterday that his business comes first. Even if he knew about the children, that wouldn’t change who he is or what he does.”

Leo reappears in the kitchen, his hair now flat against his head and dripping with water. He sits down and inhales his cereal in mere minutes before announcing, “Ready for school.”

“Almost.” I grab a towel and gently dry his hair then clean milk from his face while he wiggles impatiently. “Remember, you’re going to Aunt Molly’s after school today because Mommy has errands to run.”

“Cool.” He stands up and walks to his backpack. “Can we have pizza for dinner?”

“We’ll see.”

Carmen watches our morning routine with thoughtful silence, and I know she’s going to push back on my decision to leave as soon as we have a moment alone. I can see it in her expression.

She waits until after I’ve dropped Leo off at school and arrived at Radmir’s estate to start work for the day to voice her concerns.

“Are you sure about this?” she asks as we punch in at the clock in the staff room off the back entrance. It’s just the two of us, and she speaks quietly. “Running away feels like a pretty extreme reaction to one argument.”

“It wasn’t an argument. It was a reality check, and I was already planning to leave.

You know that.” I slide my card into the clock, wait for the sound, and put it back in its slot.

“I can’t trust him to prioritize his children if things get dangerous.

If he’s involved in something even worse than I can speculate, how can I allow my kids to be exposed to that? ”

Carmen nods slowly. “So you’re really going to take both his children and disappear without giving him a chance to prove you wrong?”

I turn to look at her directly as she punches in. “I’m protecting them from a world that could get them killed.”

She nods again but still looks troubled. “Does Radmir suspect anything about Leo?”

“I don’t think so. He’s never seen Leo, and I’ve been careful to keep my personal life separate from work.” I press my hand to my stomach, where the baby is growing. “That’s why I need to leave before this pregnancy becomes obvious.”

“Maybe he deserves to know about them?”

“Maybe he does.” I turn to look at her directly. “What he doesn’t deserve is to have his children used as targets by his enemies. What Leo doesn’t deserve is to grow up afraid, constantly looking over his shoulder, wondering if someone might hurt him to get to his father.”

Carmen sighs heavily. “I understand why you’re scared, but don’t you think Leo deserves to know his father? Don’t you think this baby deserves the same thing?”

I take a hard stance because I have to. “They deserve to be safe more than they deserve to know their father.”

She gives me a chiding look. “Those things don’t have to be mutually exclusive.”

“I’m not taking any chances.”

We stand in silence for a moment. “I’m going to the agency today after work,” I say finally. “I’ve told Mrs. Yranda I need to leave early for an appointment. I’m going to ask if they have any immediate openings somewhere else.”

She doesn’t argue this time. “What will you tell them?”

“I need a change of scenery. Personal reasons.”

“All right.” Carmen squeezes my hand. “Just promise me you’ll really think about this decision. Once you disappear with his children, there’s no going back.”

I blink back tears I refuse to cry. “I’ve been thinking about nothing else ever since…” I don’t fill in the rest, but she must guess since I got the positive pregnancy tests.

“I know. I just want to make sure you’re making this choice out of love, not fear.”

I half shrug. “Sometimes, they’re the same thing.”

At four-thirty that afternoon, I walk into the San Diego Domestic Staffing Agency, trying to look calm and professional despite the chaos in my head. The reception area is small but well-appointed, with motivational posters about the dignity of honest work and the importance of reliable service.

Leslie, the woman behind the front desk, recognizes me immediately. She’s in her fifties with short gray hair and the kind of efficient manner that suggests she’s seen every possible employment crisis. “Danielle, what brings you in today? Are you having trouble at the Vetrov placement?”

“Not exactly.” I settle into the chair across from her desk. “I was just hoping you might have something new available, maybe starting immediately. You have sister agencies in San Fran and Sacramento too, don’t you? Somewhere there maybe?”

Leslie’s eyebrows rise slightly. “That’s unusual. The Vetrov position is one of our most coveted placements. It has excellent pay, reasonable hours, beautiful location, and potential for direct hire.” She turns to her computer and starts typing. “Is there a problem with the work environment?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s more...personal circumstances. I need a change of scenery.”

“I see.” She scans through available positions.

“Let me see what we have available that might suit your qualifications and schedule requirements, either here or in one of our other locations.” As she scrolls through listing after listing, her expression grows more and more apologetic with each passing minute.

Finally, she turns back to me. “I’m sorry, Danielle.

There’s really nothing available right now that would match your current salary or accommodate your need for school-hour scheduling.

” She turns the monitor so I can see the sparse list of openings.

“Most of our high-end residential positions require live-in arrangements, which I know doesn’t for anyone with a family. ”

She turns the monitor toward me so I can see for myself.

My heart sinks as I scan the listings for part-time cleaning services for office buildings, overnight janitorial work, and live-in positions in Los Angeles and San Francisco.

“What about in other states?” I ask, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice.

“I’m willing to relocate for the right opportunity. ”

Leslie’s expression grows more sympathetic. “We’re strictly a California-based company, but even if we had something in Nevada or Arizona, the application and interview process usually takes several weeks.”

“Oh. I did apply at some other agencies in Nevada…”