Page 18 of Mafia Pregnancy

The exam room is small and sterile, with medical equipment that looks both sophisticated and intimidating. I change into a paper gown and climb onto the examination table, gripping the sheet tightly as the technician prepares the ultrasound machine.

“This is your first appointment?” The technician is young and friendly, with professional warmth that’s probably meant to be reassuring.

“Yes. I think I’m about eleven weeks along.”

She nods, still looking at my chart before setting it aside. “Let’s see what we can find.”

The gel is cold against my skin, and the ultrasound wand presses uncomfortably against my lower abdomen. For a moment, there’s nothing on the screen but static and shadows. Then the image flickers to life, and I’m looking at the tiny form of my second child.

“There we are.” The technician adjusts the angle, bringing the image into sharper focus. “Looks like you’re right about the timing. I’d say eleven weeks, two days. Everything looks normal for this stage of development.”

I stare at the tiny heart beating with impossible speed, the barely formed limbs, and the curve of what will eventually become a spine.

This is real and happening. In seven months, Leo will have a sibling, and I’ll be a single mother of two children whose father doesn’t know they exist. I start to cry.

The technician mistakes them for tears of joy. “That first look is amazing, isn’t it?” She hands me a box of tissues. “Would you like pictures?”

I nod, not trusting my voice as I wipe away tears of joy and fear. The technician prints several images and hands them to me. The grainy black and white photos somehow manage to capture the entire future in a few inches of thermal paper.

Carmen squeezes my hand as we leave the clinic, both of us quiet as we process what we just witnessed. The baby is healthy, developing normally, and completely unaware of the complicated circumstances surrounding its existence.

“How do you feel?” she asks as we settle into a café down the street, the lunch crowd providing enough noise to cover our conversation.

“Like my life just became exponentially more complicated.” I order herbal tea instead of coffee, another small adjustment to accommodate this pregnancy. “Seeing the ultrasound made it real in a way the pregnancy tests didn’t.” It was that way with Leo too.

“Real how?”

“Real like there’s a person growing inside me who deserves better than being hidden like a shameful secret. Real like Leo deserves to know he’s going to be a big brother, and real like I’m failing both of my children by keeping them away from their father.”

She stirs honey into her tea, choosing her words carefully. “You told me earlier this week that you were going to find a way to tell Radmir the truth. What changed?”

“Andrei’s visit changed everything. Whatever business Radmir is involved in, it’s scary and probably illegal.

” I think about shell companies and customs documentation, about Montenegro and Tijuana and all the things I wasn’t supposed to understand.

“I don’t know all the details, but I know enough to recognize danger when I see it. ”

Her tone and expression don’t betray how she’s feeling. “You’re going to keep hiding both children from him forever?”

I still feel defensive despite the lack of judgment.

“I’m going to protect my children from a world that threatens them, yes.

” The conviction in my voice surprises me.

“I’m going to find a new job as soon as possible, before this pregnancy becomes obvious.

I’m going to take Leo and move somewhere Radmir won’t think to look for us. ”

She sets down her spoon with a sigh. “Danielle, you can’t run forever.”

I give her a look of challenge. “Watch me.” The determination feels good, feels like taking control of a situation that’s been spiraling beyond my grasp for weeks.

I’ll start looking for new employment immediately.

Definitely somewhere outside San Diego, though that means leaving Aunt Molly and Carmen.

It has to be somewhere Leo, the baby, and I can start fresh without the constant threat of accidentally encountering his father.

I meet her gaze. “I know you don’t approve, but I’ll need your help.”

“Of course. Whatever you need.” Carmen reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure you’re making this decision based on what’s best for your children, or what feels safest for you?”

I don’t want to think about it. “Right now, those things are the same.”

“Are they? Because keeping Leo away from his father isn’t just about protecting him from danger. It’s also about protecting yourself from having to share him, from having to trust someone else with his well-being.”

I pull away from her. “That’s not what this is about.”

“Isn’t it? You’ve been Leo’s whole world for four years. You’ve made every decision, controlled every aspect of his life, and been his only parent. The idea of Radmir being involved means giving up some of that control.”

I want to argue and insist this is purely about safety and not about my own fears, but there’s truth in what she’s saying, uncomfortable truth that I’m not ready to examine.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am being selfish, but Leo is happy, healthy, and loved.

He doesn’t need the complications that come with having a father like Radmir. ”

“He might want them anyway.” She looks sad for a moment.

“You remember my father left us before I was born, right? I don’t know that I’d ever want to know him, but I was depressed when I tracked him down a few years ago and found out he was dead.

Maybe he never regretted leaving us, but it was his choice to leave.

You’re taking that from Radmir, and a man like that probably doesn’t react well if he learns the truth. ”

The thought of Leo asking about his father, of wanting to know the man whose eyes he inherited, makes my chest tight with anxiety as much as the thoughts she puts in my head.

I can’t pretend Radmir wouldn’t be enraged if he learns I left with his children if he wants them.

Not knowing about them prevents that scenario from ever arising.

He never has to choose if he wants to be a father, and I don’t have to risk having my kids in his world every weekend.

“I’ll deal with Leo’s questions when the arise.” It’s what I’ve been doing, and though it won’t work when he’s older, I can’t think about that now.

“What about this baby?” Carmen gestures toward my still-flat stomach. “What will you tell this child about their father?”

“The same thing I told Leo. Daddy isn’t part of our family. I won’t clarify why”

She shakes her head. “Can you live with that?”

I shrug, not entirely certain. “The truth is more dangerous than the lie.”

We finish our tea in relative silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. The ultrasound pictures sit on the table between us, proof of the life growing inside me and the choices I’ll have to make to protect it.

As we drive back toward my apartment, I think about Andrei’s threats and the careful way Radmir controls every aspect of his public persona while hiding whatever he really does for a living.

There’s no indication he ever wants a family, so am I really depriving him of something, or am I saving him the trouble of dealing with it?

A pang of guilt shoots through me at the thought.

I don’t have the right to make that decision for him, but I also can’t thrust my children into danger.

I think about Leo, playing happily at school, unaware that his mother is carrying his sibling and planning to disappear before either child can complicate their father’s carefully ordered life.

My thoughts return to Radmir, working in his office and managing his empire, all with no idea that his genetic legacy exists.

Most of all, I think about the ultrasound image and the tiny heart beating with such determination. This child deserves better than being born into secrets and lies, but that’s all I can offer for now.

Maybe someday, when both children are old enough to understand the complexities of adult choices, I’ll find a way to give them the truth. Until then, I’ll protect them the only way I know how., by keeping them as far away from Radmir Vetrov as possible.

“I need to start looking for work immediately,” I say as Carmen pulls into my apartment complex. “Before I start showing or anyone at the estate puts the pieces together. Maybe I can find something I can do from home from anywhere, so I have stability when we move…” I bite my lip.

Carmen turns off the engine and faces me. “Where will you look? What kind of work?”

“Anything that pays enough to support two children. Maybe hotel housekeeping, or office cleaning. Something with different hours and different clients.” I unfold one of the ultrasound pictures, studying the tiny form that will be Leo’s sibling.

“I have some savings. With my next paycheck, if I take Leo out of his preschool, I’ll have enough to cover a security deposit when we move.

” The idea fills me with guilt since he loves it, but he’s young, and moving means changing to a different daycare or preschool anyway.

She flinches. “Move where?”

“I don’t know yet. Maybe north, toward Oceanside or Carlsbad. Or somewhere completely out of California. It’s too expensive anyway. I need to go somewhere far enough away that we won’t accidentally run into Radmir.”

Carmen’s expression is troubled. “Danielle, you’re talking about uprooting your entire life because you’re afraid to have one conversation.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s not about one conversation.

I’m talking about protecting my children from a man whose business associates threaten people.

Whatever Radmir is entangled in doesn’t bode well for my kids.

” I fold the pictures carefully and tuck them into my purse. “This isn’t about fear but survival.”

She still looks troubled, reminding me again why she’s so vehement about my children knowing their father. “What if you’re wrong about him? What if he’s nothing like Andrei?”

“What if I’m right? What if telling him about Leo and this baby puts them in danger?

I can’t take that risk.” I take a deep breath.

“Honestly, it’s not Radmir or even Andrei who really scares me as much as not knowing what his business is but knowing enough to understand anyone he cares about is probably a target if he has enemies. ”

She slowly nods. We sit in silence for a moment, watching other residents of the complex go about their normal lives.

A young mother pushes a stroller toward the mailboxes and an elderly man waters the small garden plot beside his ground-floor unit.

Everything looks so ordinary and safe. “I should go get Leo,” I say finally.

“Aunt Molly said she’d keep him until five, but I don’t want to impose. ”

“I’ll drive you.” She says it like a reconciliation, since we’re both at odds on this issue.

I blink back tears. “You don’t have to?—”

“I want to. Besides, I want to see how he’s doing. Kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for. He might be picking up on your stress.”

She’s probably right. Leo has been asking more questions lately, watching me with the kind of concern that no three-year-old should have to feel about their parent.

I need to be more careful about hiding my emotions around him.

It’s just one of many things I have to hide now that Mikhail…

Radmir is unexpectedly back in my life, bringing myriad complications with him.