Page 152 of Mafia Daddy's Christmas Bride

But what if he doesn't feel the same? What if, now that this business with Salvatore and my mother's murder is resolved, Roman is relieved to honor his promise and send me away?

The thought makes my chest ache.

My thoughts drift to the photos I'd seen in the family album. Roman and Emilia, their faces lit with genuine happiness.

She was beautiful in a natural, unassuming way. The kind of beauty that comes from within.

In every picture, Roman looked at her with such adoration. A real love match, Elena had called it.

She probably never betrayed him, never kept secrets, never made him doubt her loyalty.

Not like me.

Emilia was the wife Roman chose, the woman he loved enough to build a life with. I'm just the woman forced upon him by circumstance. A burden, a duty, a potential threat he's been tasked with monitoring.

What would she think of my sleeping in her bed? Wearing her husband's ring? Carrying his child?

Would she hate me for stepping into the life she was torn from too soon? Or worse, would she pity me for loving a man whose heart will always belong to her?

The tears come unbidden, hot and silent. How can I possibly measure up to a ghost?

A perfect memory preserved in Roman's mind, untarnished by time or disappointment.

Emilia will always be the woman who gave Roman his greatest treasure, Angelica.

She'll always be his first choice, his true love.

And I'll always be second-best. The replacement. The compromise.

What if Roman resents this baby? What if, instead of seeing it as a blessing, he views it as a betrayal of Emilia's memory? What if he looks at our child and only wishes it were hers instead?

How ironic that I've spent so long fighting against the constraints of this life but now wish I could stay in this world and have a future with Roman and Angelica and this child growing inside me.

But now it feels too late. If I tell him about the baby, he’ll do the honorable thing, just as he always does.

But that will mean that I’ll never know if he stays because he wants to or because he feels he must.

The thought of binding him to me through duty rather than desire is unbearable.

Roman deserves to choose his own path, just as I've always wanted to choose mine.

I steel myself for the heartache I know is coming. For the possibility of raising this child alone, away from the only man I've ever truly loved.

For not being able to watch Angelica grow up.

For building a life separate from the one I've just discovered I want more than anything.

31

ROMAN

For the last eighteen hours, I’ve paced the hallway outside our bedroom waiting for Isabella to wake up.

Every second has felt like an eternity.

My mind keeps replaying finding her unconscious, pale as death. I've already lost one wife… No. I can’t go there.

The door finally opens. I stop mid-stride as the doctor steps out, his face unreadable.