Page 10 of Ma Belle Marguerite (Hidden Secrets #1)

Alexander

I know these nurses are just trying to do their job.

Some are, while others are just trying to take advantage of having me alone in a room.

I don’t want any of them touching me. Only Ma Belle Marguerite can touch and see me in any intimate way.

After my dream of her being here earlier, I’m not in the mood to be touched by anyone.

I sometimes wish that nobody knew who I was so that I could be treated normally and not have women constantly chasing me. While it is a great ego boost, it gets tiring. You never know who is after you for your money and title or if they genuinely want you as a person.

I tried to date a few years after Bella left. Spending time with the girl I was seeing wasn’t so bad, except when the time came to get laid. Let's just say, it was terrible. The only way I could get hard was to imagine her as Bella. Even then, I couldn’t look at her.

I attempted to get her to dress like Bella did. I even called her Bella once by accident—that didn’t go over well. I tried only banging her from behind. None of it worked for her or me. Frankly, she deserved better, and I gave up caring. Call me what you will, but Bella is it for me.

I loved her enough to let her go, even though it kills me every day. She is the only one for me. That will never change. One day she will see that.

A soft knock at the door pulls me from my memories. “Come in.” Raising my voice doesn’t hurt as much as it did yesterday. Small mercies.

“It’s just me.” Bella comes through the door looking tired but as breathtaking as ever. “A little birdie told me you are being a grumpy patient?”

I try to collect my thoughts as I think of a response. I do a double take, making my head throb. Wait, it really is her. She’s here. Maybe earlier wasn’t a dream after all.

“Who told you that?” I grumble. Whoever it is will regret it.

Bella raises an eyebrow at me and says, “Really, Rex? You think I didn’t know this on my own?” She tries to hide her smirk and a giggle.

Of course, it goes straight to my cock. I have missed her laugh. It’s one of my favorite sounds. Well, besides the moans she’d make when I was inside her.

“I’m not grumpy,” I tell her as I turn to look out the window. Maybe focusing on something outside will help get rid of all the dirty thoughts running through my mind. “Did you come to visit me earlier?” I ask.

Stifling another giggle, Bella moves next to my bed, becoming serious. “I did. Are you feeling up to talking? I have a few questions that have haunted me for years, and I could use some closure.” She takes a deep breath and continues, “But if it is too much, I can wait.”

Yep, that’ll kill the mood. There’s nothing like hearing a version of ‘ We need to talk ’ when all you’re thinking about is pinning her under you to the bed and making her scream your name until she promises to stay this time and never leave you again.

Never mind, maybe I’ll be having this conversation while I’m hard and imagining all the ways I want to punish her for leaving me. Perhaps a spanking with my belt for every year she was gone.

The sound of a chair scraping across the floor breaks through my thoughts.

“Rex?” Bella's voice is quiet as she sits in the chair beside my bed.

Looking back at her, with an edge to my voice, I say, “Sorry, I have a lot on my mind.” It isn’t a complete lie. I do have a lot of things on my mind, most of them being all of the unimaginable things that I want to do to her.

“What did you want to talk about?” If anything, I should be the one asking questions. Yet here I am, wanting to forget it all and take her into my arms. God, I’m such a fool for this gorgeous woman.

Clearing her throat, she looks at me with her bright sea-glass green eyes and says the last thing I expect. “Why didn’t you come for me?”

I’m dumbfounded. Not come for her? Seriously!

“I did what you asked. You asked me in the only letter you sent not to follow you. You wanted to see what the world had to offer. Alone .” My voice sounds angrier than I want it to.

“I waited for a sign you had changed your mind, but no more letters came.” Taking a deep breath and trying to calm myself, I continue before she can cut me off.

I need to get this out. “I attempted to find you at your fancy college. They said there was never anyone there by that name.” Now that I have had a few hours to process her being back, this is not how I thought this conversation would go.

I didn’t think I would be the needy emotional one, but she makes me feel so many things.

“Now I know everything we had was all a lie, and you just took the easy way out for yourself. Instead of telling me you found someone else, you ghosted me.”

She scrunches her nose up at me in defiance.

“Wait, what do you mean? I sent you letters for months! They all were returned unopened to me!” Her face changes from anger to sadness, her body sagging as if she’d been defeated.

“You broke my heart and left me to start a new life on my own. What was I supposed to do? Be alone for the rest of my life?”

She has the nerve to sound upset with me. She is the one that wanted this.

“Seriously, Isabella, I’m just going to believe you sent letters that were magically returned to you?” I scoff. “Then you moved on with someone else after blocking my number and email?”

“You don’t say.” Shaking her head, she carries on, “Do you honestly think I’d make that up? I thought you knew me better than that.”

Bella, the smart ass, has arrived. I didn’t realize how much I missed this.

Before I can answer her, she reaches beside her and pulls a stack of envelopes out of her bag. Tossing them on the bed beside me, she says, “I had a feeling I would need these.” Standing up with her bag, she turns and starts to walk away.

Before she gets too far, I try to reach for her, but I almost fall out of bed.

Fuck I need to control my temper around her.

As angry as I am right now I wouldn’t be able to live through her walking away again.

“Wait, don’t go yet. We need to figure this out.

Please, Ma Belle ?” My voice comes out weak.

I don’t beg for anyone except her . I will do anything for her. I’d sell my soul if it made her happy.

Her footsteps falter as she stops and speaks softly. “I’ll give you ten minutes. Then I need to get home. Since you seem to know about Adrien, I’ll assume you know about my twins.” She doesn’t look at me when she talks, almost like she doesn’t want to see my reaction or for me to see hers.

Trying to keep my voice calm, I admit, “Yes, I do.” I shouldn’t be excited, but I feel like a puppy waiting for a pat on the head for a job well done.

Slowly, Bella turns around and looks like she’s expecting the other shoe to drop. I don’t know why. She knows I love kids. Her kids are part of her, so why wouldn’t I love them?

I may not know them, but I already know they will be a huge part of my world if she allows me to be a part of hers. So many years already wasted. I’m not wasting anymore.

Glaring at me with her mesmerizing seaglass green eyes, she says, “Okay. Here’s the deal, Alexander.

I will give you five minutes to look at the letters.

After that, you have five to explain why you didn’t put more effort into coming for me.

Don’t use some bullshit excuse that I asked for you to stay behind. ”

Even when angry, she sounds so sexy.

“Deal. Come sit with me? Please. Let's talk this out,” I plead, giving her my best puppy dog eyes as I try to readjust my position in the bed.

It's clear that these letters are old, and I see her neat, curvy handwriting across each one.

I don't understand how this could be, but I never received them.

I've never even seen them. I have the proof right in front of my face, and she tells me that they are real, so I believe her.

But we need to figure out what the hell happened.

Rolling her eyes, she says, “No, I’ll sit on the chair. I don’t want to aggravate your injuries.”

“Fine, but pull the chair closer and show me which ones I should see first,” I instruct her. I need her close; I will take whatever she will give me.

She pulls the chair nearer to the bed and sits. Reaching over, she gently takes the pile of envelopes and looks through. She gives me a letter dated a week after she left. As I open it, she gives me a few more. I can see her picking at her nails out of the corner of my eye as I skim through.

In the first letter, she tells me how charming our new apartment is and how much she can’t wait for me to get there and be with her. Nothing in this letter is like the one I got after she left. It’s all our hopes and dreams starting to come true.

I open another envelope and skim through only to see that she was waiting for me, hoping that I would be coming for her soon. Trusting that the letters coming back to her were a mistake and I would be there anytime to work things out.

The next one she tells me that she had a drunken one night stand and is now pregnant. She doesn’t know if I’ll ever forgive her but she can’t stand the thought of giving up the babies and I would have to deal with it, if I ever showed up.

Gently clearing my throat to get my emotions in check, I pick up the next one and see it is dated two years after she left. When I look up at her, she won’t meet my eyes. I can feel my own wanting to water; I can’t even imagine how she is feeling right now.

As I read through quickly, I can feel the heartbreak she felt in her words.

She didn’t want to move on, exactly, but wanted to have some happiness in her life.

She had Adrien and the twins and needed to focus on them and not the past. I realize now that I screwed up.

Something happened that we are missing here, like I thought.

I cannot finish this letter, and I don’t need to.

I have already seen what I needed from her, but now have so many more questions.

Who did this? Why did they intercept the letters? I will kill them when I find out. Was this my father? Who else could have wanted us apart?

I don’t even know where to start. I’m at a loss for words.

I gently grab her chin and lift her face until she is looking me in the eyes.

She tries to resist, but I refuse to back down now.

“ Ma Belle Marguerite, I had no idea. How did things get so messed up? I swear I tried to find you, but wanted to follow what I thought were your wishes.”

Quietly, Bella asks, “So you did come for me?” Her eyebrows and nose scrunch before she continues. “You thought I didn’t want you all these years?” Her face is a mixture of sadness and anger.

I use my thumb to wipe away a tear from her face. “I would follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked me to, Ma Belle . There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. Including letting you go if that’s what you wanted.”

I can see all of Bella’s feelings written across her face.

She never was good at hiding her true emotions from me.

Which just fuels my own anger even more.

I will find out who did this and make sure that they pay for causing her all this pain.

I need to focus and make sure that she knows I’m not going anywhere now.

Leaning forward, I rest my forehead on hers and ask, “Can we try to work through this? Will you allow me to make up for my mistake of not following you all those years ago when I should have? Can you ever forgive me for being so stupid all these years?”

I can feel Bella nod her head slightly before she pulls back.

“We can try and figure things out. I don’t know that I can just forget that you have been gone all these years.

You just took the words from that one letter and let me go, which I would love to see.

You didn’t fight for me. If you loved me like you say, you should have fought harder for me. ”

As much as I want anything other than to stop, my head decides now is the time to start pounding again.

“I will do everything I possibly can to prove to you how much I love you. I can show you the letter, it is at home. I missed you, and I’m not letting you go again.

Whoever did this was will pay. I promise. ”

Bella looks me in my eyes and says the words I’ve been waiting to hear. “I’ve missed you, too.” Sighing, she adds, “But I can’t just let go of the last thirteen years. They have been an important part of my life and gave me my children. That is something that you will have to come to terms with.”

Taking a moment to choose my words carefully, I say, “I get that. I’m anxious to meet the twins.

I can’t say how I feel about your deceased, um, other person, though.

” I clear my throat. “Actually, fuck it. You are mine, and no other man should have had the chance to touch you. I should have been there to kill anyone who tried. I wasn’t there, and I do acknowledge that. It will not happen again.”

Bella cuts me off, “You don’t get a say in who touches me and how. You gave that right up thirteen years ago. This possessive bullshit may have flown back then, but don’t think I’ll put up with it now!”

“I won’t apologize for that; you are mine. Always have been and always will be. From here on out, I will kill any man or woman if they so much as look at you the wrong way.” I don’t care how long it takes, but she will realize that she will be mine, til death do us part.

I’ll make sure she knows this is not something I will budge on. I now have the backing of my own ‘business’ behind me. I will use it to protect what is mine how I see fit. “You’re back in my life, and I intend to keep it that way. So you will have to deal with that.”