Page 9 of Lydia Acquires Adoration (Bennet Ladies Liberation #5)

Chapter Eight

Lydia was aware that her announcement would create a stir, but she knew she had to speak. If she did not, so much could be lost. Opening her mouth, she boldly said, “Me. He will marry me.”

While she had not done anything dramatic, hadn’t screamed or broken a vase, she still had all eyes on her with those five small words. Squaring her shoulders, Lydia prepared to face the questions that she knew would come as soon as everyone fully processed what she had said. She would convince everyone of the soundness of her decision and her level of conviction. Lydia would worry about speaking to her mother and other sisters later. One battle at a time.

She knew in her heart that somehow this was the correct thing to do. How could it not be? There was a small child who she was growing to love whose wellbeing hung in the balance.

Across the room, she met Mr. Herrington’s gaze. The solicitor did not wear a mask of shock like some of the others. His head was tilted slightly, and his gaze narrowed. The first to speak, he calmly said, “That would solve the issue rather handsomely. That is, if all parties can be brought into accord.” Looking briefly over at William, where he sat with Elizabeth, Lydia could see where she thought the first obstacle might arise from.

Elizabeth and William sat silently, hands clasped tightly and, for the moment, ignoring the room. As was often the case, they were looking to each other for strength and support. It hurt Lydia to see her sister’s lips pressed together so tightly as she gazed into her husband’s eyes. Lydia knew that her simple statement had brought her pain. Elizabeth would be worried for her, Lydia knew it, but she hoped that Elizabeth would not attempt to stop her. Lydia dreaded the possibility that Elizabeth would be disappointed in her choice.

Realizing that Elizabeth and William would not say anything at the moment, Lydia turned instead to Selene and Mr. Burgess. Choosing to face her friend, Lydia rested her gaze on Selene. The black-haired beauty sat with her mouth slightly agape, but when their two blue gazes met, her mouth closed, and she sat up straighter. Opening her mouth again, she seemed to struggle for a moment before saying, “I would be honored to have you as a sister.” Then, swallowing mightily, she continued, “However, do not feel you must do this. My brother and I can find a way to manage without such a sacrifice on your part.”

Shaking her head, Lydia responded, “You do your brother a disservice by claiming that it would be a sacrifice for me to marry him. One day, he will hold the title of viscount. Who is to say I am not doing this because I crave a title of my own one day?” Lydia attempted to inject some levity into her tone, adding, “Besides, he looks well enough. I wouldn't want to undermine his confidence by implying that I didn't think he was handsome.” This elicited a small smile from Selene as she looked up at her brother, who stood next to her. Lydia had been hoping she could make her laugh, but she would take a smile.

Bolstering her courage, Lydia decided it was time to face the man that she had basically just proposed to. Fighting the desire to bite her lip or look away, she met Mr. Burgess’s gaze. It was not the time to be bashful; it was the time to be bold. He was a few steps away from her, standing next to Selene. His forehead furrowed slightly as his eyes met hers. Evidence, she supposed, of the astonishment she had caused.

“You would be willing to marry me?” Sebastian’s question came in halting tones that gave voice to his confusion more than the words spoken.

With a small nod of her head, Lydia replied, “I would be more than willing. I am convinced that it is the correct thing to do.”

Scratching at his eyebrow, Mr. Burgess asked, “But why? Why would you choose to sacrifice a love match and opt for a marriage of convenience with me instead?”

“There is that word sacrifice again. After today, I would prefer not to have it brought up again.” Striding across the room, she stood in front of him, chin raised and said, “Let us make things clear. If I marry you, would you respect me and my decisions?”

Mr. Burgess’s brows drew together in a flash as he exclaimed, “Of course! I would never treat someone as important as my wife without respect. Why?”

Shaking her head to silence him, Lydia continued asking, “Would you see to my comfort and care and that of any children that result from our union?”

Perhaps seeing where she was heading, Mr. Burgess merely said, “Yes.”

Tilting her head, she softened her voice and asked, “Would you ever belittle or demean me or any of our children, Clara included?”

Eyes widening, Mr. Burgess was quick to respond, crying vehemently, “No, I would never, could never, treat you or any children in such a way.” Taking a step closer to her, Mr. Burgess peered down into her eyes, questioning, “How could you believe I could behave in such a way?”

As she gazed into Mr. Burgess's deep blue eyes, Lydia made a mental note to stay focused. It was not the time to be distracted. She had convincing to do. Leaning forward slightly, she smiled before saying, “I do not believe you would ever be that kind of man or husband. I have every confidence that if we marry, you will take care of me and our children to the best of your ability. You are a good man, Mr. Burgess, and you are willing to go to great length to ensure your niece’s care and security. I am only trying to point out that I am willing to do the same, and I do not believe that it will ever be a sacrifice on my part. You would not let it be.”

Sebastian found himself captivated by the woman who so boldly faced him. Her blue eyes flashed with challenge, and he wanted to answer it in the most basic way, but he would not. Not when he had just expressed her faith in him so eloquently. Still, he had a hard time looking away from the invitation her parted lips so unknowingly offered.

She had just offered to solve all his immediate problems, but in accepting her kind proposal, he worried that he might harm her. Could he be that selfish? Could his need to care for Clara move him to do anything but be selfish and accept the lifeline that Miss Bennet offered?

Despite her assurances that she was not sacrificing anything by marrying him, he worried she would be disheartened to lose out on a love match. All of her sisters and even her mother had eventually obtained a love match. Would she be satisfied with him when she could have waited to find the love of her life?

She met all the qualifications he had thought of that morning. He could not think of a better woman for the care and companion she would show to his niece. She was overflowing with love and motherly tendencies already. She was also friends with his sister. Miss Bennet passed the last requirement he had come up with high marks. Sebastian had always found himself drawn to blue-eyed blondes, and it was safe to say that he found her highly attractive.

In fact, he had long been aware of her in a physical sense, but he had decided it was not something he would, or could, act on yet. Sebastian had thought that when he was ready to settle down in a few years, she might also be in a similar mindset, and if their goals aligned, he would be pleased. Was it possible that events outside his control might be encouraging him to cross a boundary he had erected for himself? Was there a chance that the timeline he had anticipated was being advanced?

He was only twenty-two years old. Young for marriage, but really, if he was to take care of his niece, he had no choice. On the other hand, Lydia was eighteen, but at least that was the typical age women started to marry. Girls had certainly married younger.

There would definitely be friendship and affection between them, whether or not what they had developed into anything more. And if he wanted more and nothing developed, surely he was mature enough to move past it. They had every chance of happiness in a marriage together, even without love. Right?

If it was just for him, he would proceed without hesitation. After all, all the benefit was on his side. His concerns about the consequences for her weighed heavily on his mind, but who was he to second guess her decisions? He had told her he would respect her and her decisions as his wife.

Reaching out, he took up her hand, feeling how small it felt in comparison to his own. Squeezing it, he asked, “Are you sure?”

With a firm nod of her head, Miss Bennet replied, “I am.” That was it, no dithering or indecision. If she had no hesitation, how could he? Sebastian understood that in order to respect her, he needed to begin by respecting her choice to marry him. Understanding the importance of a strong start, he made a conscious decision to begin with determination and establish the desired tone for their relationship.

Drawing her hand up to his face, he placed a feather-light kiss on her knuckles. “Then, Miss Lydia Bennet, it would be a privilege to marry you. You have my word that I will do everything within my power to see to it that you never come to regret your decision.”

Lydia was still recovering from the flash of heat that radiated up her arm when Mr. Burgess’s lips had grazed her knuckles when Elizabeth spoke up. “Now that you have both had your say, I do believe it is time for other conversations. Mr. Burgess, I rather think you should speak with William.”

Lydia peeked up into Mr. Burgess’s face. Was it possible to see hope written in someone else’s eyes? Whatever it was that she saw in his eyes caused a shiver to run down her spine. While she suspected she had given him hope for the first time since the reading of the will, she also wondered if he had the same hope she had for a congenial marriage. More than congenial, if the butterflies in her stomach were anything to go by.

He still had her hand clasped in his own, hovering in the air between them. Now would come the hard part, convincing the people who loved her so dearly that this was the right thing to do. Giving her hand a squeeze, he bowed over it before releasing her fingers. She tried to smile encouragingly even as she heard her sister say, “I would like to speak with Lydia alone.”

Turning to her sister, Lydia saw the rising panic in Elizabeth’s eyes. Yes, a conversation was in order. Approaching Elizabeth, she offered, “Why don’t I help you back up to your room, Elizabeth? We can talk while you rest.”

When Elizabeth began to get the mulish look in her eye that Lydia recognized, she worried she had miscalculated, but it seemed William had also seen the careful way her sister was sitting. Leaning in, he kissed his wife’s forehead, saying, “Listen to Lydia, dear. You have already been below stairs far sooner than the midwife would like. Do it for me, Lizziebet.”

Looking at her husband, she rolled her eyes and scrunching responded, “I am not made entirely of glass, you know. I am made of stronger stuff than that.”

William nodded in agreement. Then, helping her to her feet, he said, “I know you have a core of steel, but I do like it when you allow me to pamper you. Speak to your sister and get some rest while you can. I will speak with Mr. Burgess.”

Soon enough, Lydia was helping Elizabeth to change into a nightdress and lie down. Though Lydia wondered what sort of conversation was going on in William’s study, she chose not to fret over it. Elizabeth had first checked on baby Gil and his nursemaid in the room adjoining hers. It had been a simple matter to set up a small nursery for first Artie then, Gil in what had once been the mistress chambers. That way Elizabeth and William were close enough to see to them as they desired, and Elizabeth could continue to feed the babies as needed. Artie had only moved to the Pemberley nursery once he slept through the night.

Elizabeth settled into bed with a sigh and Lydia was glad that she had managed to get her sister to lie down. Lydia had only just climbed on to the bed next to her when Elizabeth said, “Tell me what you are thinking, sister mine, because I do not understand. How could you contemplate marrying without love?”

Resting her head on the soft pillow, Lydia positioned herself on her side, her gaze fixed on her sister's worried face, as she started explaining. “Oh, but there will be Elizabeth. I would never marry without love.”

Eyebrows drawn together, Elizabeth screwed up her face, asking, “Then do you have an affection for Mr. Burgess that I have never suspected?”

Lydia frowned. She had walked right into that one. She was not about to explain her girlish imaginings she had indulged in when she had first met the handsome gentleman. No, there had to be a safer route. Backtracking a little, she said, “Not in the way you are implying, no. Though I have always thought there might be something there one day. He is horribly handsome, after all, and I enjoy spending time in his company.”

Gripping Lydia’s hand tightly, Elizabeth asked, “Then what do you mean?”

Lydia worried she would never be able to fully convey the connection she felt to Clara, but she was going to try. She had to explain her reasoning, and she started by saying, “I know I will love that little girl more than all, but perhaps her own mother had she survived. You have not spent much time in her company, but Elizabeth, she is such a lost little sprite. She reminds me much of what we must have been as little girls. I cannot explain it, but I fairly itch to mother her. She soaks up love and affection with a sort of astonished hope that it is nearly painful to see. In marrying Mr. Burgess, I will be able to provide all the love in the world to that child. So yes, my marriage to Mr. Burgess will abound in love.”

Half sitting up, Elizabeth argued, “We girls always promised mama that we would never enter into matrimony without a foundation of respect, affection, and love. I just find it hard to see you give that up, no matter how noble your decision is.”

“That man downstairs has nothing but respect for me, Elizabeth.” Shaking her head against the pillow, she fought her frustration with how much Elizabeth did not see what she saw. Mr. Burgess was going to be her husband if she had anything to say about it and he would be family. As family, she was going to protect him, even if it meant going against her older sister. But how to get her to understand? She continued, “You saw his hesitation. That was not for himself, it was for me. There I was, the literal answer to his prayers to keep his niece safe, and still he hesitated. I bet you anything that he was considering the issues I might face. He respects me enough to believe me when I say this is what I want to do.”

Laying back down, Elizabeth said, “Fair.”

Well, at least Elizabeth had acknowledged Lydia’s point. That was something, right? Continuing her argument, Lydia said, “As for affection, I do not believe that is something that I will lack.” Lydia blushed just remembering the way he had made her feel, kissing her hand and bowing over it. If he could keep that up once they married, she would be very happy indeed. Clearing her throat, she added, “We have been on friendly terms for a while now and I can only see our relationship improving.”

Raising her eyebrows at her sister’s blush, Elizabeth gave Lydia a considering look but said nothing about it. Instead, staring Lydia straight in the eye, Elizabeth demanded, “But what about love, Lydia? And I am not talking about the love you will have for Clara. I am talking about passionate love. You would give that up?”

Sighing, Lydia rolled over on her back and looked up at the canopy above her sister’s bed. Elizabeth’s romance was the stuff of legends. Of course, she would want her youngest sister to experience the same level of happiness and wedded bliss. How could she make her understand? Lydia explained, “No, I am not giving up on that kind of love, Elizabeth. I have just decided that I am willing to start my marriage without it. I am betting that with enough work and cultivation, Mr. Burgess and I will find our own path to the sort of love you speak of.”

After that, they lay in silence and Lydia hoped that she would prove to be as good at cultivating her relationship with Mr. Burgess as she was with flowers. She had always wished for the kind of love Elizabeth spoke of. What girl didn’t? She was just willing to work at it.

Sebastian looked across the desk at Darcy, strangely happy that he was having the conversation with him and not his cousin and brother-in-law, the former colonel. He had a feeling there would be a lot more intimidation going on had the situation been different. It was enough to have to face Darcy.

Not that Sebastian begrudged the hard look he was receiving from Darcy. He was attempting to marry his sister by marriage. Had someone asked for Selene’s hand in such a manner, he was uncertain what he might be compelled to do. Even knowing that it would weaken his position, Sebastian broke the silence by saying, “Would you be the person I should apply to for Miss Bennet’s hand? Or do I need to be contacting someone else?”

Darcy leaned back in his chair, tilting away from Sebastian, his jaw set. Sebastian waited while he felt the scrutiny of Darcy’s stare. He knew Darcy would speak eventually. Fighting the need to squirm, Sebastian was grateful when Darcy finally said, “While she is staying with me, I have permission to approve of the match.”

Sitting forward, Sebastian began, “Mr. Darcy,” his voice filled with resolution, “may I have your blessing to marry your sister by marriage, Miss Lydia Bennet?”

Tapping his fingers on the desk between them, Darcy smiled grimly at Sebastian before saying, “You put me in an uncomfortable situation, Burgess.” He hesitated just long enough to make Sebastian worry he would be denied, before continuing, “I have long liked you, Burgess. I was impressed by you when we first met last year. The fact that you are working so hard to care for your niece only makes me like you more, and I can't help but want to offer my assistance. And yet, the assistance that you are requesting directly impacts my sister-in-law and thus my wife.”

It was not hard for Sebastian to understand what Darcy was referring to. Mrs. Darcy had always seemed the protective sort and if her response was anything to go by, she would not be happy. Fighting the desire to tug at his cravat, Sebastian acknowledged the issue, saying, “Yes, I understand that, and if there was another way, I would take it.”

Darcy gave a brief nod, responding, “If I believed that you were anything less noble in your intentions, I would deny you, no matter Lydia’s thoughts on the matter.”

Was that a good thing? It sounded as if Darcy was approving of his match with Miss Bennet. “I can assure you that I have nothing but the best of intentions where Miss Bennet is concerned.”

At that, Darcy smiled widely and leaned forward in his chair, asking, “Are you familiar with the phrase the path to hell is paved with good intentions ?”

Feeling uncomfortable with the change of subject, Sebastian felt his brows draw together in confusion. Still, he answered, “Yes, I have heard it used a time or two. In fact, I had a professor who said that it meant that good intentions are worthless unless followed up with action.”

“While that is one interpretation, let me give you another, if I may.” Darcy paused and Sebastian found himself nodding despite the rising unease that he felt. Darcy continued saying, “Regardless of your intentions, if you make Lydia unhappy at any point, you will find yourself in hell.”

Though the words were overtly threatening, Darcy’s tone had never changed, and the casual calmness of his statement made it all the more foreboding. Feeling the need to protect himself, Sebastian began, “You have to know that I would never hurt Miss Bennet.”

Waving him off, Darcy said, “That is the only reason I am allowing the marriage to take place. However, you have to know something as well. I know you know, on some level, Lydia is the youngest of five sisters. What you may not understand is that means she now has four brothers who are all quite capable of seeing you regret anything you should do to make her unhappy. Though only one of us has a title, the rest of us are not without our resources.” Darcy finished the speech with a smile the likes of which Sebastian had never seen before, and he decided it was an excellent thing that he was a good man. He would not want to be in the unfortunate shoes of someone who had the gall to hurt one of the Bennet sisters.

For a moment, Sebastian sat there unsure if he should attempt to put Darcy at ease or if he would be better off just looking as intimidated as he felt. He vaguely wondered how the conversation was going between Miss Bennet and her sister. He hoped it was going better. It had to be.

Leaning back in his chair, Darcy continued, “Do not suppose you are getting away totally free of intimidation and threats. I have no doubt that Theodore will want to have a conversation with you at some point. For that matter, I am sure that Gabriel and Bingley will as well.”

Sebastian tried to swallow, though his dry mouth did not make it easy. Was Darcy implying that the last ten minutes had not counted as intimidation? Swallowing again, Sebastian said, “I will look forward to having conversations with each of them.”

Rubbing his hands together, Darcy said, “Now that we have that out of the way, let us talk settlements.”