Page 25 of Lydia Acquires Adoration (Bennet Ladies Liberation #5)
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lydia had woken up early, which was surprising, considering the drama she endured the day before. She had gone to bed feeling like she would sleep for years. Yet she woke early, unable to stop thinking of all that had happened. Glancing over at Clara, Lydia was happy that she had slept well through the night. Lydia had been afraid the little girl would have nightmares, but she had slept better than Lydia herself.
Carefully sliding out of bed so as to not disturb Clara, Lydia grabbed her wrapper and put it on. Walking across the room, her bare feet cool on the wooden floor, Lydia sat before her mirror and brushed her hair. A faint light seeped through the windows, creating a muted gray hue that hinted at the approaching dawn. She did not really need to see herself in the mirror; it was only out of habit that she sat there as she methodically brushed her hair.
Lydia had always thought there was something soothing in the rhythmic motion of brushing her hair. She allowed her mind to wonder, thinking of the attack by Baron Blackthorn, which thankfully had failed. She also thought about how grateful she was to have the skills that Kiernan had taught her, without which she would not have been able to protect Clara nearly as easily. Lydia was confident that she would have stopped the man somehow.
With her hair free of tangles and once again a golden waterfall down her back, Lydia put her brush down and began a simple braid. Once complete, Lydia wound the braid around the back of her head to create a simple knot that would be adequate for a simple morning at home. Placing a few pins to hold it in place, Lydia was done with her hair for the morning.
Walking across the room, Lydia went into her sitting room, being sure to leave her bedroom door ajar so that she could hear Clara if she cried out. Taking up a seat at her desk, Lydia lit a candle and took out a sheet of paper. With Theodore and William both heading back to their homes, Lydia felt she should send letters with them to her sisters. Only as she gazed down at the empty page before her, she could not think of what to say. Oh, she could congratulate Kitty for her new baby boy, but what did she put after that?
Lydia found she did not really want to put her experience with the baron to paper, and when it came to the developments in her relationship with Sebastian, well, she could not find the words to express it adequately. Thinking about Sebastian and their relationship moved her to put her quill down all together. For a moment, her mind wandered back to the feeling of Sebastian's comforting embrace as tears streamed down her face. Without uttering a word, he gave her the space to let go, without any demands or expectations. He hadn’t even really needed her to tell him that she was falling apart; he had seemed to just know. Through it all, she had felt so safe, so loved. How could she put that down on paper and catch the magnitude of it? Which was why her page remained blank.
She did not know how long she had been staring at that page when she heard tapping coming from the door that led to Sebastian’s sitting room. Moving to stand, Lyda saw Sebastian peek his head around the door. Greeting her with a smile, he said, “I saw your light on, and I wanted to check in with you and make sure you were all right after the day you had yesterday.”
In that moment, Lydia realized what had felt off that morning. She was missing Sebastian. Since they married, she had been grateful for his companionship, but now she was realizing just how much she missed him when he wasn't by her side. She was even starting to crave his presence. Gesturing for him to enter the room and join her, she said, “I am well. I just could not sleep so I thought I would try to write my sisters, but I have been just staring at a blank page, unable to come up with what to write.”
Moving to a comfortable settee, she patted the space next to her, hoping he would sit with her. As he walked towards her, she noticed that he was wearing his banyan. She had to tell herself not to be shocked. She had certainly seen him in less when she was helping to care for him after the fire. As he sat down next to her, he casually draped his arm along the back of the seat, creating a comforting cocoon around Lydia.
Thinking of his recent injury moved her to ask, “How are your arms? Just yesterday, it seems like you were staying in bed and now you are up and about and dressed.”
“My burns were not so terrible. The apothecary admitted to me that he had seen much worse and that I could move about as soon as I felt capable, and I was careful. I am still putting on the cream, but I have left off the leaves.” As if to demonstrate, Sebastian pulled up his sleeve and showed her his scarred hand and wrist. The skin looked to be healing well with no open wounds, so she supposed he was well enough.
Swallowing, she said, “That is good. I have always known you to be a busy person. I am sure you will prefer to be out of bed and handling things.”
Curling her into his side, Sebastian admitted, “I think I will be happy to just be up and about with you. It terrified me yesterday to hear about the fact that you had been in danger, and I had not been there to help you. I do not think I want you to go very far from my side again.”
She was only too happy to snuggle into him and soak up the love and comfort that he offered. She was too caught up in enjoying the warmth of him to say anything at first, but after a moment said, “I was terrified too, but only afterwards. At first, I was furious that the baron had thought it would be so easy to just kidnap Clara. Not only would he have re-traumatized her, but he called me a powerless female. I was livid. At least until it was all over. Then I was weak.”
Sebastian gently brushed a strand of hair from her forehead, his lips pressing against her temple, igniting a surge of electricity that traveled down her body, tingling all the way to her toes. Trailing a series of kisses from her temple to behind her ear, he whispered, “I would never describe you as powerless. You are magnificent. You protected Clara and yourself. I want you to know that just because you were afraid after the fact and you cried, it doesn’t detract from the fact that you were strong when you had to be.” Turning so he could look her in the eye he continued, “I marvel at your strength, and I am happy to watch it as you take on the world, but I am also ready to be a soft place to land when it becomes too much for you. You mean everything to me and with each passing day, my adoration for you grows stronger. Tell me what you need.”
Sebastian watched Lydia’s eyes fill up with tears, hoping they were good tears and that he had not just said something wrong. He did not have to worry long because Lydia swiftly blinked away her tears and said, “You know just how to say what I need to hear. I feel unequipped to express how you make me feel, and sometimes I wonder how I can ever compare to your eloquence.”
Offering an encouraging smile, Sebastian revealed, “I do not need eloquence. I only need you and your love. The words are immaterial. I will view any words of love you give me as a gift, and I have a feeling that any description of your feelings will be more potent than you may comprehend. Will you tell me how you feel?”
It had always been easy to admire Lydia’s beauty, but there was something special about the way she blushed as they spoke. It heartened him and let him know that even if she struggled for something to say, she was not unaffected by him. Though she moved closer to him, settling her forehead into the crook of his neck and robbing him of the sight of her, he was not disappointed in her show of affection.
“Your idea of being a safe haven resonates with me; I want that for both of us. I crave the idea of being there for you when you need me. My love for you is not so fragile that it cannot handle the weight that will come with life. While I love that you are committed to sheltering me, please do not forget that I want the same thing for you.” Lydia’s voice as she spoke grew stronger. Sebastian could feel the strength of it in the vibrations on the skin of his neck. He almost did not want her to stop talking, and was very happy when she continued, “I need you to promise me that you will not be someone who hides his problems. I want to be someone you can gain comfort from when you need it.”
In response to her declaration, he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms tightly around her. Kissing her forehead again, he said, “Then I shall do all in my power to share my troubles as well as my triumphs with you. I will warn you though, it may not come easy.”
Pulling back from him slightly, Lydia looked him in the eye and said, “I will not be the type of person who just takes and doesn't give in this relationship.” She paused and then with a slight look of hesitation and a deep blush continued, “Though I have had an idea of how to remind you that you should be sharing your burden with me.”
Raising his eyebrows in puzzlement, Sebastian asked, “What did you have in mind?”
He was astounded when she swiftly moved in and pressed her lips to his own. The interaction started off innocently enough, but as soon as she offered her gift, he wasted no time in returning the favor. As his hand glided through her hair, he found himself caught in the elaborate knot at the base of her neck. Nothing could dampen his enjoyment of the exquisite taste of her on his lips and the mesmerizing sound of her sighs in his ears. The intensity of their kiss was palpable as his heart thudded in his chest.
Locked in the moment of their first true taste of expressing their love, only the need for air moved him to pull his lips from hers and find other places on her face to settle his kiss. Though he did not stray from her lips for long. He had been nurturing his love for her for so long that he couldn't help but thoroughly enjoy such a precious moment. He could see a few problems with her idea if she meant to use a kiss to get him to share his problems with her. Though, to be fair, it would have the very good advantage of entirely distracting him from whatever might be bothering him at any given moment. They might have continued their glorious exploration had they not heard something that reached them through the haze of passion.
“Auntie?” Clara’s plaintive voice had them freezing in place before slowly untangling. Calling out, Lydia said, “I am coming, darling. One moment.” Standing up, Lydia smoothed out the wrinkles in her dressing gown and moved the door to her bedroom. As she reached the door, Lydia looked back over her shoulder and smiled at him.
Sebastian knew he would have to settle for that smile for the moment. Their day was starting, and they were not likely to have many moments alone together with their newly realized love. He sprawled back against the settee, slightly overwhelmed that he had been so taken over by a simple series of kisses. Sebastian wondered idly just how soon the nursery would be done.
“Since it is such a rainy, gloomy day, I thought instead of going for our normal garden walk, I might treat you both to a surprise. What do you think?” asked Lydia. It was two days after her brothers-in-law had left and Lydia had been working feverishly to prepare the gift for them both.
Clara, clearly happy for a surprise, beamed at Lydia. Running up to her, Clara grabbed her around the legs and asked, “What is the surprise? I would love a surprise!”
Leaning down, Lydia kissed Clara’s forehead and clasped her in a hug. As she straightened up, she stole a quick glance at Sebastian, finding joy in the fact that he appeared to be genuinely interested, if not as excited as Clara.
Sebastian took one of Clara’s hands and asked, “Where is the surprise hiding?”
Taking Clara’s other hand, Lydia said, “It is upstairs. Though when we get closer, I will want you to close your eyes. That way, it will be a much bigger surprise. Can you do that for me?”
Nodding, Clara jumped slightly on her toes in excitement, exclaiming. “Yes, Auntie, I can close my eyes if you hold my hand and don’t let me fall.”
Sebastian smiled down at Clara, squeezing her tiny hand in his, and said, “Of course we won’t let you fall. Now why don’t we go upstairs so we can get our surprise?”
Tugging both of them with her, Clara rushed to the stairs. Once they got to the top of the second flight of stairs, Clara asked, “When do I close my eyes?”
Scooping Clara up, Sebastian said, “You can close them now. I will carry you.”
Lydia smiled as Clara cuddled into Sebastian’s hold, her eyes squeezed shut. Leading them both to the nursery, Lydia opened the door and followed them in. She was giddy to see Clara’s reaction to the newly finished nursery. Lydia waited until Sebastian was in the middle of the room before saying, “You can open your eyes now.”
Clara opened her eyes and gasped. Sebastian, on the other hand, said, “Oh my, Lydia, this is splendid.” Once Sebastian put Clara down, she wasted no time exploring every nook and cranny of the room, her giggles filling the air. On one side of the room, there were two beds, each with their own charming canopy, adding a touch of elegance to the space. A short table adorned with several miniature chairs sat proudly in the center of the room. By the windows, two rocking chairs sat invitingly, ready to be occupied. There was also a toy chest filled to the brim and a small bookcase with books.
From start to finish, Lydia had incorporated a soothing lavender and sage theme into every detail. A tranquil ambiance filled the room, with its walls painted in a gentle sage hue interspersed with lavender stripes, while the lavender pillows and bedclothes added a hint of femininity. In Lydia's opinion, the green and purple color scheme struck the perfect balance, making it a suitable choice for both boys and girls who might come to live there.
Coming over to Lydia, Sebastian embraced her, saying, “It is beautiful. I love the painting on that wall.”
Looking at the painting, Lydia leaned into Sebastian. It was a lovely painting of several children playing on a grassy hill dotted with purple flowers. Lydia said, “The painting was a gift from Kitty. She knew the color scheme of the room, so she was able to make it fit in perfectly.”
Holding Lydia in front of him, Sebastian put his chin on her shoulder, saying, “Your sister is an amazing artist.”
Nodding, Lydia said, “I have always thought so.”
From the center of the room at the child-size table, Clara said, “There is a tea set for me!”
Grinning, Lydia said, “Yes, honey. I asked them to bring up some biscuits so that we may have a treat in your new room.”
Clasping her hands together, Clara asked, “Is this is my very own new room?”
“Yes, darling, the room is yours. Nurse Harris will be in that little room through that door.” Pointing at the door that was painted cream, Lydia continued, “So you will not be alone, and you can pick whichever bed you want to be yours. There is an extra bed so that you can have your cousins visit and spend the night in here with you. There are more little beds coming that will be in the next room for when everyone is here.”
Clara ran towards Lydia and Sebastian, throwing her arms around their legs in a tight embrace. “I love my room, Auntie. It has purple and toys! I love you, Auntie Lydia, and you too, Uncle S’Bastien.”
With a warm smile directed at Clara, Lydia cooed, “I love you too, my sweet little love.”
Settling in at the child-sized table, Lydia helped Clara serve pretend tea to go with the biscuits. Sebastian was too large to sit on the tiny child-size chairs, so he sat on the floor without a fuss. When Clara left the table to get her new doll so she could have more guests at her tea party, Lydia leaned over and whispered to Sebastian, “Thank you for putting up with this silliness. I know it means a lot to Clara.”
Whispering back, he said, “She deserves to be happy. I can manage a tea party or two. Besides, you said that this was my surprise as well. You did a wonderful job getting this room ready for Clara.”
“Thank you.”
Coming back with a doll, Clara set it on one of the small chairs and placed a teacup in front of her. Suddenly looking worried, Clara looked at Lydia and said, “If I am sleeping here with Nurse Harris, will you be lonely all by yourself, Auntie Lydia?”
Lydia glanced at Sebastian, her face heating in a blush. She said, “It is so sweet that you are worried about me. Your uncle said I can sleep in his room so we can keep each other company.”
Nodding, Clara said, “That is good.” Then, looking at Sebastian, she added, “You take good care of Auntie Lydia, Uncle S’bastien. I love her.”
Reaching out, Sebastian ruffled Clara’s hair and said, “Of course, I will take good care of Auntie Lydia. I love her too.”
As they made their way out of the room and left Clara to play with Nurse Harris, Sebastian walked to the stairs with Lydia on his arm. Ever since she had terrified him by tripping that one time, he preferred to have her on his arm. He knew it was foolish, but he could not help but worry about her safety. He loved her so intensely that the mere thought of her becoming injured pained him. Now that he knew she returned his feelings, he was determined that they would have no less than fifty years together.
Arriving at the hall near their rooms, Lydia hugged his arm to her and said, “You know, now that the nursery is finished, I think my next project will be the mistress suite.”
Looking down at Lydia, Sebastian asked, “What exactly are you wanting to do?” He knew it was the done thing for married couples to sleep apart, but he had not expected her to want to make improvements to her room. He had hoped they would be spending more time together, not less.
Smiling up at him, Lydia said, “You may not know this, but none of the women in my family sleep in their own room. Some have even converted part of their rooms into a mini nursery for when their babies are small or if one of them is sick and needs to be kept from infecting the others. I hoped that we might start work on it right away. Do you know where I might sleep while my room is being redone?”
Sebastian could not have kept the tremendous grin off his face if he tried. Turning to face Lydia, he blurted, “Let me get this straight. You want to move into my room? Permanently?”
Smiling up at him with a rosy blush spreading across her cheeks, she replied, “Only if you want me to.”
With a swift motion, Sebastian reached out and captured Lydia by the waist, and effortlessly swung her around in a joyful arc. He only stopped so that he could capture her lips with his own. Once he pulled back, gasping for air, Sebastian declared, “I am not a stupid man, my love, only a stupid man would not want to spend his every night with his beautiful wife.”
Giggling, Lydia pressed her fingers to her swollen lips before saying, “I suppose I can take that as a yes?”
Going in for another kiss, Sebastian said, “That is so much more than a yes!” Their passionate kiss was abruptly interrupted by Sebastian's realization of their conspicuousness in the hallway, where any of their staff might see them. Scooping up Lydia, Sebastian couldn't help but smile when he heard her startled squeak, but the joy in her eyes reassured him. He loved her so much and promised himself that he would make sure she knew it every day of her life.