Page 23 of Lycan King’s Claim (Lycan King’s Reign Duet #2)

R emoving my clothes, I step into the shower only to hiss and step out as the water stings the cuts and grazes on my skin, and the temperature is scalding.

Hay and dirt cover me, as do their handprints; I poke at the marks lacing my skin.

The bruises are deep, making me wonder how damaged my bond is that I've stopped healing completely.

I lean against the shower wall, hand under the water, waiting for the temperature to drop.

Stepping into the steam-filled shower, a wave of dizziness sweeps over me, and the next second, I am lurching forward, spilling the contents of my stomach onto the floor.

I gasp for breath, retching and heaving.

It takes me a few seconds to regather myself when I hear the bedroom door open and close.

"Sienna?" Xandros’ voice calls out to me, though he sounds much calmer now.

Reaching up, I grab the corded shower head, washing the mess I made down the drain.

The bathroom door opens and creaks. I swipe my hand over the fogged-up shower screen.

When he enters, his sigh of relief reverberates through our bond with enough intensity to make me arch an eyebrow in surprise.

“I'm sorry I slapped you,” he mumbles, his gaze softening when he notices my surprise. “It scared me to know that you wanted to end your life. That you would have if Carina hadn't interrupted you.”

Despite myself, a bitter laugh escapes my lips. “Well, it's good to know someone cares,” I reply sarcastically. “Even if it's just because they don't want to lose their mind to a mate bond, that is more trouble than it’s worth.”

“Sienna, it's not like that,” he protests, taking a step closer to the shower. “I care about you. I've always cared about you.”

I try to step back, but he reaches out and pulls me closer, his thumb brushing over the mark he left on my cheek.

I suck in a breath, trying to ignore my bond, calling out to him.

My heart aches as I feel the splinters breaking away, piece by piece.

I have lost who I was, who I thought I was.

All my life was spent in fight or flight mode, and now I just want peace.

I can't keep living on this edge, constantly playing hide and seek, constantly watching what I say, how I say it, and to whom. It's exhausting.

“Please, Xandros, just leave,” I plead, my voice wavering. “I can't do this anymore. I can't be a part of this toxic world where I'm just a pawn in a game of power and politics.”

He looks hurt, his eyes searching mine desperately. “Sienna, I'm begging you to forfeit the challenge against Carina. We can find another way.” Who is he trying to convince, himself or me? And after earlier, that slap in the face was more than literal.

“No!” I snap, anger bubbling inside me. “I won't back down just because it's convenient for you. I won't continue living like this. What part of you is struggling to comprehend that?”

“Being married to her changes nothing. You're still my mate,” he says softly, his hand caressing my cheek. “Nothing can change that.”

“Except death,” I retort, feeling bitterness taint my words. “Death can release me from this bond, and that's the only peace I see in my future because I will never find peace with you and this bond.”

“Don't say that,” Xandros pleads, his eyes filled with pain.

“I can't bear the thought of losing you, Sienna.” I almost laugh, losing me, does he not see he already has?

You can't treat someone like a doormat, stomp all over them, staining their soul, and expect they'll remain submissive to that life forever.

“And I can't bear the thought of being trapped in this bond with you,” I reply, my voice breaking.

“This mate bond you see as some great force, some blessing, but I see it for what it is, Xandros, and blessing is the last word I would call it.

I see that it's all just an illusion. You never truly saw me, did you?

All you saw was a means to an end, a way to secure your kingdom. "

"That's not true," he insists, his grip on me tightening. "If I weren't your mate you wouldn't have come after me; you wouldn't have looked twice in my direction," I tell him. He opens his mouth to argue but then closes it, he knows I am right.

"Sienna, I'm so sorry," he whispers, tears shimmering in his eyes. "I made a mistake, a terrible mistake, and I regret it. But please — don't go through with the challenge. We can work through this."

My heart wavers, torn between the love I once thought I felt for him and the pain he caused me. "Love is not enough," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. "Love cannot erase everything you've done."

He drops his hand from my cheek, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "I don't know what else to say," he admits, his voice heavy with sorrow.

“That's because there's nothing left to say," I reply, my voice growing stronger as I push back against the pain threatening to consume me.

"No, Sienna, please," he pleads, reaching out to me once more.

But I step back, the water from the shower soaking my skin, cleansing away the dirt and grime.

I watch him, his beautiful face contorted with emotion.

My heart lodges in my throat, the pain too much to bear.

"Please leave, Xandros, I would rather not be near you right now,” I tell him while hoping he leaves.

As I turn away from him, I hear him leave, and I feel a mixture of sadness and relief.

Stepping under the stream, I wet my face.

My vision blurs as I stare at the wall, trying to collect my thoughts.

The warm water against my skin pulls me back for a moment.

If I die tomorrow, it will be on my terms, not his.