Page 15 of Lycan King’s Claim (Lycan King’s Reign Duet #2)

D arkness swirls within me, a blizzard of conflicting emotions and torment, as I sit in my office.

The weight of my actions presses heavily on my shoulders, threatening to consume me whole.

I find myself caught in a cycle of self-destruction, seeking comfort in the numbing embrace of alcohol and burying the pain in my work.

What do I do if the blood test results come back as clear, that would mean it's the bond, her rejecting mine.

I could lose her, but at the same time, how would I even begin to fix it?

Broken mate bonds have never been fixed, they wither away and die from everything I've read about them. Or they go crazy without them.

My mother sits at the end of my desk, I had been drowning her out, stuck in my thoughts while she happily berates me.

She had come in an hour ago and confronted me with the harsh reality of my choices, it was almost like she couldn't wait to tell me I should have listened to her, she's been on my case for days.

Her eyes, once filled with warmth, now hold a glint of desperation.

I shake my head having heard little to nothing of what she said, but her tone alone was enough to get the message through.

I grab my glass, planning to head to the library away from her and her never-ending lectures when she blocks me.

"Xandros, you can't keep drowning yourself in work and drowning your sorrows in that damn bottle," she pleads, her voice tinged with worry. Yet she doesn't understand the pain of feeling her with him. The sight of them together torments me, every time I look at her, I see him with his hands on her.

Anger boils within me, ready to erupt at any moment.

How dare she lecture me about my choices?

How can she understand the turmoil that engulfs me?

"What would you have me do, Mother? Should I just forgive her after what she did, what would stop her from doing it again, or running off again with someone else.

Is that what you want?" I snap, my voice laced with bitterness. My mother takes a step back from me.

Javier steps forward, a barrier between the brewing storm and my mother.

His voice is calm yet firm. "Xandros, calm yourself.

This is not the way," he warns, his words penetrating the haze of my anger.

Only then do I realize I had raised my hand to her.

For a brief moment, I see the shadow of my own reflection in his eyes, a mirror to the monster I have become, the madness, the crazed savage I am beneath the mask.

Realization dawns upon me, a cold hand gripping my heart.

I almost struck my own mother, the woman who gave me life.

Guilt floods my veins, mingling with the anger and pain that already courses through me.

I am on the precipice of losing everything, consumed by my own darkness and the madness that comes with it.

"Mom, shit... I'm sorry," I tell her, reaching out to touch her arm.

My mother, hurt by my actions, turns her back on me, refusing to accept my feeble attempt at an apology.

It seems I am constantly apologizing these days.

The weight of her disappointment settles upon me, suffocating the last remnants of my self-assurance.

I am a king, yet my kingdom crumbles beneath the weight of my own failures.

Desperation engulfs me as I storm out of the room, seeking peace in the empty corridors of the castle. Shadows dance around me, mirroring the turmoil within my own soul. The walls seem to close in, suffocating me with their silent judgment.

And there, in the depths of my despair, I encounter Sienna. Her presence is a double-edged sword, stirring both fury and longing within me. I snarl at her, a desperate attempt to shield myself from the questions that threaten to unravel the fragile facade I have built.

Without another word, I turn away from her, retreating to my car. The engine roars to life, matching the fury that rages within me. The intoxicating scent of alcohol fills the confined space, a bittersweet reminder of the escape it offers, if only for a fleeting moment.

Javier, however, rushes out as I try to turn the car around.

His voice reaches my ears, pleading with me to let him drive, and not succumb to the temptation that lies before me.

But I ignore his pleas, my vision blurred by the haze of alcohol and self-loathing, as he bangs on the window.

I need to get away from my mother, my mate, all of them, they are driving me insane.

"Just watch Sienna and don't leave her on her own," I command Javier.

The tires screech as I speed away, leaving everyone behind, when I glance at the mirror I see Sienna rush out, a broom in hand.

In the rearview mirror, Sienna's figure grows smaller, fading into the distance.

She is both my salvation and my downfall, a flickering flame in the darkness that threatens to burn me alive.

But for now, I am lost in the abyss, drowning in my own shadows, unable to break free from the chains that bind me, at least not without hurting one of them.

By the time I reach the city, I have downed my bottle of liquor, so pull up at a pub.

I need a drink, something that will knock me out, not just make me numb.