Page 70 of Lux

No, drawn.

Created.

A masterpiece.

I stare. Long after Caspian’s stomps and slamming crates fades to a distant murmur I can’t tear my eyes from this piece of paper, for it is the most beautiful thing in all of existence. Beautiful beyond anything else. More precious than wings or flying.

More precious than being in the mortal realm, even.

Someone captured me. They drew me on a page, in lines of soft gray. I stand on the roof of the Citadel belltower, my face half-turned, my eyes in the distance.

The view point is of someone who would have watched me from below. Watched me and memorized this moment. Internalized it. He hoarded every last detail away in his mind to depict onto paper later.

He drew me in the most perfect work of art.

It heals any ache I felt until now.

It chases all my fears and doubts away.

It has me riveted, heart, mind, and soul.

He drew me perfectly, and in his eyes, I seem beautiful.

CHAPTER 23

Caspian

It is not in a vamryre’s nature to feel guilt. Why should we? For we are superior beings, far beyond any mortal. To regret our strength and ruthlessness is to regret our very inception. Our creation.

I am a vamryre, and there is no one on this earth who can question that. Who should be able to make me question. Make me wonder. Make me think…

What if?

What if?

Damn her, for making me wonder what if. What if I could think like her? Forgive. Forget. Move through life sweetly, gazing at every single damn thing with wide-eyed wonder?

I cannot.

Even if I wanted to, I could not. No one should force such things upon me, for if they cannot deal with the mind of a predator, they cannot deal with me.

Yet, her mind is a paradise. I don’t want to leave it so soon. Not yet. I cling to her thoughts, even now.

Damn her.

I seethe in frustration and irritation, yet she makes me cling to her. Prod her mind state. Test that pretty brain for any wayward thoughts. Any crack or crevice I may slip inside of.

I want to be in more than just her skin. I want to burrow into that tiny soul. I want her to feel me resonate in her from the inside out. I want to make her acknowledge my darkness. Internalize it.

Lo and behold, I am here to stay.

But she has no right to do the same to me. I am the one who saw her that day, flitting about her in her little tower. I decided to hunt her. Chase her. Claim her.

Me. She should belong only to me.

Yet, she is already staking her claim on bits of me that even Cassius never touched. I can feel her there, scratching and clawing at my insides. Warping me around her. Changing me to suit her needs.

There's a sick, twisted part of me that wants to be perfect for her. It covets the way she stares at me when in awe. When I surprise her in an unexpected way. Instead of seeing a monster in me, she sees a savior.