Page 12

R owan

Even as my feet carry me back toward Alina’s door, every cell in my body is protesting the separation that yawns between us.

The taste of her lingers on my tongue. It wasn’t nearly enough. Even now, after the dark turn that conversation took, I’m hard for her. I’m aching for her, my muscles shrieking in protest over the fact that I’m not touching her, holding her, claiming her as my own.

She thought I’d spent the past ten years sleeping with others.

She has no idea how much I care about her.

At the door, I pause. She stares up at me, the fury gone from her eyes. Perhaps that should be a good thing, except that it’s been replaced by cold resignation and an impenetrable stubbornness that I remember seeing in her parents when they were alive.

“I’ll go,” I concede, reaching for the knob.

“But you need to understand that you—and now Noah—are the center of my universe. No matter what. Nothing can change that. So, even if we can’t be together as proper Mates, you have to know that all I care about is making sure that my son is safe, which then means that his mother must also be safe. ”

Even as I say the words aloud, I curse internally. I didn’t phrase that right. Alina isn’t only valuable to me because she is Noah’s mother. The wolf within snaps at me for even suggesting otherwise. Alina is more than a means of procreation. As my Mate, she is the center of my universe.

At least, this is what my wolf side argues. The part of me that is human still struggles to overcome the fear I feel over the prophecy, and maybe that’s why I misspeak. It’s easier for her to think I’m cruel than to admit that I am afraid.

Alina frowns. “I can protect him.”

“I know you can. But you also know that the Blackburns aren’t a threat that you can reasonably handle on your own, if the time comes. At least let me do what I can to protect him from a distance.”

“Even if I say no, you’ll do it, anyway.”

For some reason, that makes me laugh. It’s just a quick breath of humor, more of an exhale than anything, but at least Alina understands me. She knows that there is nothing I won’t do to ensure my pack is safe. Despite her efforts to insist otherwise, she is part of my pack. She always will be.

“You’re a good mother, you know that?”

“Don’t flatter me right now, Rowan.”

I shake my head. “I’m not. It’s the truth. He’s a good kid, and maybe some of that is just his nature, but I can also tell that he’s known nothing but love and patience. You’ve given him a good life, Alina.”

Her throat bobs with a swallow. She looks away, blinking fast.

“Please just go.”

It’s the last thing I want to do. Truly, if life were different, I’d stay.

I’d take her in my arms and kiss her again.

I’d carry her to her bed—or, maybe, since Noah is close by, I’d pull her outside to a quiet forest clearing.

I would take my time with her, like I didn’t bother to do ten years ago.

Kseniya’s words are impossible to ignore, though. They are constantly in the back of my mind, and right now they feel more insistent than ever.

“…beware the beloved heir’s Mate, who shall ruin him in time.”

I open the door, then hesitate for just a moment longer. “Can I see Noah tomorrow? At The Diner, after school, just like the first time?”

Alina sighs. “Yes, fine.”

“All right,” I reply. “Goodnight, Alina.”

She doesn’t say anything, but it’s another good sign that she doesn’t bark out an obscenity or shove me out of her house. She looks more sad than anything else right now.

I leave her house, letting the door fall shut gently behind me.

In the cool night air, I pace around the perimeter of her property several times, tracing ruts in the damp ground without even bothering to shift into my wolf form first. The fresh air calms me, reminds me how to be practical, and assures me that what just happened in there is probably for the best.

It sends a stab of regret through me to think so, but I know that I shouldn’t have kissed her. I definitely shouldn’t have gone down on my knees and tasted the dewiness between her thighs. I shouldn’t have lingered there, relishing the way she came on my tongue.

It was a bad move. An inappropriate decision. An unfair one. Alina doesn’t deserve to be jerked around like that by me, especially when the prophecy still presents an insurmountable barrier between us.

Hell, if it weren’t for the pack, I’d let her ruin me. I wouldn’t care. It’d be a privilege to be ruined by her, whatever that means.

But there are other lives on the line.

It’s better that I keep my hands off her, better that I don’t tempt fate.

With a resigned sigh, I confirm once and for all that there’s no pervasive Blackburn scent hovering too close for comfort, then hop into the cab of my truck.

Then, despite Alina’s arguments that she’s more than capable of protecting herself and Noah on her own, I settle into the driver’s seat and lean my head back, preparing myself for another restless night as my mate’s unwanted guardian.

But this time, by dawn, I’ll be gone. I’ll make myself scarce and watch from a distance.

Distance is good. Distance is better.

The next afternoon, I’m groggy and grouchy as I push open the door to The Diner. I barely got any sleep. Not just because I spent the night upright in the seat of my truck, but also because I couldn’t stop thinking about what went down in Alina’s kitchen.

Every time I tried to drift into unconsciousness, my mind would restart the tape, and memories would flood my thoughts. It didn’t help that her scent was all over me. Cloying and sweet, tickling my nose and clinging to my skin.

When her house started to stir with activity, I had driven some ways down the road, shifted, and then circled back around to watch from within the cover of the trees.

I waited there, concealed among the dense ferns, as Noah skipped toward the bus and then, about ten minutes later, Alina left for her shift.

After that, I went back home. Showered and changed my clothes. Offered some excuses to Cal that I’m certain he’s no longer buying. Said hello to my mother and played the role of a doting son, the Alpha prince.

Then, as soon as I could reasonably get away, I came back here.

I’m exhausted, but the sight of Noah sitting at his usual booth in the back of the restaurant makes me forget about that.

Alina, too, also kickstarts my heart. She’s behind the bar when I wander into the space, and she offers me nothing more than a simple nod in lieu of a real greeting. It’s better than nothing, though. Better than an outright glare.

I sit down across the table from Noah. He has a plate of apple slices in front of him, courtesy of the kitchen.

He grins at me. “Hi, Dad.”

“Hi, son.” I gesture to the notebook open in front of him. “What’s that?”

Noah sighs heavily. “Math homework. I hate it.”

“I thought you were good at math?” I’m pretty sure I remember Alina mentioning it in passing. Or maybe it was something he said the first time I came to see him here.

“Well, I thought I was,” he grumbles. “But we just started long division with decimals, and it’s really confusing.”

“Can I help? ”

Noah tilts his head to the side, observing me with eyes that are the mirror image of mine. “Are you good at math?”

“I was great at it in school. They put me on the accelerated track, which means I took calculus when everyone else was still in algebra.”

“Calculus sounds scary.”

I chuckle. “It’s not.”

He frowns thoughtfully. “Do you have to be good at math to be an Alpha?”

There’s a twinge of concern in his eyes, and somehow, I understand exactly where it comes from. He might be young, but he’s a smart kid. He knows what I am, and he knows that he’s my son, therefore, it isn’t hard for him to deduce what that makes him, too. A young Alpha.

Young, and yet already concerned that he won’t measure up. I felt the same way when I was his age.

“Absolutely not,” I assure him. “But I promise I can help. Long division is fun.”

Noah wrinkles his nose at me. I’m laughing again. I adore this kid. My kid. I hardly know him at all, and yet I know that I love him as if I’ve been in his life from the very beginning.

“If you say so,” he mutters, then pushes the notebook toward me. “So, the first problem we have to solve is right here, with thirty-two-point-six-seven-five divided by…”

I settle into the booth, smiling as I help him work through his homework, and I swear I’ve never felt more content with anything in my entire life.

All the while, however, there is a significant portion of my attention fixated on Alina.

She looks so beautiful in the dim, warm lighting, and even with her untidy braids and plain cotton tee, I swear she looks more like an angel than a real person.

To think that fate could have ever deemed me worthy enough to be her Mate is still something that I’m trying to wrap my mind around, even a decade later.

Alina moves with such quiet confidence, and I soak in every detail of her charming mannerisms and playful quips as she goes about her business behind the bar.

She is intoxicating. She is perfect. I think I’d give anything to make her truly mine.