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NATALIE

I expect to wake in the same heaven I drifted off to sleep in, securely in Ethan's arms, but when my eyes open, I'm all alone. I stare up at my ceiling, letting myself be disappointed for a moment. The sound of rain lashing against my window snaps me back to reality. It feels like it rains here constantly. Maybe he didn't leave. Maybe he's out in the kitchen having coffee or showering. I just need to find him.

I sigh and roll out of bed, reaching for my discarded robe and tying it around me as I head to my front door. The door is shut, the deadbolt unlocked, as if the last person to leave didn't have a key to lock it. Dammit. He really did take off while I was still sleeping, but why?

I run my hands through my tangled hair, staring at my front door. What do I do now? If I never see him again, how long am I going to spend regretting last night?

You won't, I tell myself firmly. If that's all you ever get, then you'll cherish it, dammit. And maybe down the line, you can have Ryan kick his ass.

The thought should make me feel better, and it does, for two seconds, and then I'm back to feeling like shit again.

It's a wild thought, but I felt emotion deeper than anything I've ever experienced when I was with Ethan last night. It was like seeing him again had ignited our friendship back to life, and my crush along with it. But there was a depth that wasn't there before, and the possibility that my crush could actually come to fruition now that we were living our own adult lives.

Being with him is so easy. It's like we didn't even miss a step. Like I'd just seen him the day before. And now that I have proof he feels the same way about me? Ugh. How can I let that go and just forget?

And that's not even considering the incredible, hot-as-hell sex. Just thinking about never being able to experience that with him again makes me majorly bummed out. Hell, I even feel like crying.

Chin up, old girl, I tell myself, sniffling back tears. We've got a store to open for the day and a world to face. Let's go.

A shower, two cups of coffee, and a Pop-Tart later, I feel a little better. I'm ready to get on with my day … until the door opens.

For a panicked second, I think it might be Jason, but the man who walks through the door instead is my brother, Ryan. I blow out a breath of relief, but it's quickly replaced by annoyance.

"I told you that key is for emergencies only," I say, folding my arms over my chest.

Ryan holds up his hands in defense, a grin spreading on his face. "You weren't answering my calls," he says. "And I can't live another day unless you tell me how speed dating went."

Ryan had bet me fifty bucks that I wouldn't go to the speed dating event the restaurant he cooked in was holding, but fifty dollars buys a lot of donuts and coffee, and I have little to no shame. I stalk to the bedroom, digging in my dress pocket for the speed dating ticket, and slap it into his palm when I emerge.

Grinning, Ryan opens his wallet and hands over a crisp fifty. "Here you are, princess. Did you have a good time?"

I chew on the inside of my lip, thinking. My instinct is to lie directly to his face about Ethan, but holding back my feelings about Ethan all of this time is what got me into this predicament in the first place. And again, I have very little shame. Ethan might lie, but I won't.

I'll definitely hold back some of the sordid details, though.

"So you might want to sit down for this."

Ryan's eyebrows rise. "It's that bad, huh?"

"Worse," I say solemnly.

He follows me into the living room, and I gesture for him to sit. When he does, I grab a cushion off the couch, holding it in my lap as I sit beside him. Might as well be comfy while I have my heart torn to shreds by my brother.

"Okay," Ryan says slowly. "Now you're really scaring me."

I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry. "I made a match last night. It was Ethan Hayes.”

"Oh shit. I mean, oh no," Ryan says, and I can see the cogs of his mind turning. Something about his tone of voice sets off alarm bells in my head, and I narrow my eyes. His concern and surprise seem … fake. "That's so crazy."

I lean forward, searching his face. "Ryan, what is going on?"

"Nothing," he insists, but I can see him bite the inside of his cheek. "How, uh, did it go? With Ethan, I mean."

"Not great," I say cautiously. "He kind of ditched me." I leave out the part where the ditching happened this morning, not last night.

Ryan leans back, sighing. "That moron. I swear he's the most unaware jerk I know."

Oh boy. I sit back and cross my arms, giving him my best 'explain yourself' look.

"Because," he continues, "I asked him to go speed dating. I didn't tell him you were going. I set this whole thing up so you guys would finally see you should be together."

My eyes widen. "You what?" I can feel my voice rising, and Ryan cringes.

"Look, you were still feeling like garbage about Jason, and Ethan is … well, Ethan is in love with you. And you're in love with him or were, or something. I thought this would help."

"In love with me? Ethan?"

"Is that so surprising? You two were crushing hard when we were younger, but there was no way I was encouraging something that gross." He puffs out his chest. "But I'm a mature man now."

"I … that's not … I didn't … shit." I bury my face in my hands. "You're just as much of a moron as he is, you know."

Ryan puts an arm around me, his voice quiet. "He'd never admit it to me, but he's been stuck on you forever. Ethan's not an asshole. He never made a move, but that's because of me. He was a good friend like that."

My mouth opens and then shuts. "Did you ever, I don't know, tell him that you're okay with the idea of us being together? Wouldn't that have been wise before setting us up?"

He has the good graces to blush, then looks down at the floor, kicking at it. "Ah, well. No. I figured you'd hit it off, and then he'd come to me, and I could give him the all-clear."

"And you don't think that's the most ass-backward way to go about it possible? For fuck's sake, Ryan. You have to tell him all of this. He bailed this morning because he's so worried about ruining your friendship." I can't believe this. It's just so stupid. So ridiculously stupid. "You have to fix this, and if you don't, I'm going to kill you."

I'm so irritated and frustrated, I can't stand it. I stand up, flinging my arms around my brother's shoulders as he sits on the couch. "You have to tell him. Now. I'm going to work, just lock up when you leave, you asshole."

Ryan wraps his arms around me, laughing. "All right, all right. I'll tell him. Promise." Then he pauses just as I open the front door, and when he speaks, his voice sounds high and scandalized. "Wait, did you say this morning?"

"Bye! Love you!" I quickly shut the door behind me, laughing all the way to my car. I feel lighter. Hopeful.

Maybe today won't be a bust after all.

* * *

Nat's Nifty Novels is my baby, and even with relationship chaos spinning in my mind, being here helps me recenter. It's my safe haven. The store has always been a place for me to just get away. That's why I opened it after finishing college.

Even as I turn the ‘Open’ sign on, my thoughts go back to the night I spent with Ethan. He's been in my fantasies since we were younger. Since long before I should have had the kind of thoughts I've had about him, if I'm honest. It's probably why I'm here on a Monday morning instead of at home wallowing over a bottle of wine and a tub of Ben & Jerry's. I've been pining after the man for ages. By now, I'm used to it.

The hours pass, and the customers roll in, slow but steady. My cashier comes to relieve me at noon, and I take to stocking the new arrivals while she handles the guest flow.

There are days when the work feels tedious and exhausting. I can be on my feet for ten hours and want to sleep for two days straight afterward, and not every guest who steps into my store is going to be the brightest ray of sunshine. I've had some seriously grumpy people in the shop before.

But on days like this, it feels more than rewarding.

A steady flow of people comes and goes. A group of high schoolers, a pair of friends with children in tow, and then, at around 2 PM, Ethan with an armful of sunflowers.

He remembered my favorite flower.

A lump forms in my throat before he even sees me. Every time I saw sunflowers over the years, they immediately made me think of the two of us and Ryan as kids, picking the seeds out of the flower heads and throwing them to the birds. Ethan has been with me even when I couldn't have him. He was my friend before my crush, and I haven't forgotten that.

His eyes scan the rows of books, finally landing on me. The way he smiles is almost hesitant, his gaze quickly flitting away and back as he strides towards me.

He's a good man, my Ethan. And I'm going to hold on tight to him this time.

"Hey, you."

He stops, setting the bouquet into my waiting arms. "Hi. I wasn't sure if you'd be working, but I took the chance anyway. I, uh, talked to your brother."

I cross my arms. "Did you strangle him?"

He exhales. "It was a close thing, but no."

I can't stop my lips from tugging up into a smile. I nod to the sunflowers in my arms. "What's with these?"

His own lips curve up in an answering smile. "An apology."

I tilt my head, studying him. I can feel my pulse racing just thinking about last night. He's still Ethan. He still knows how to make me laugh, and my stomach flutter. But there's something else now, too. There's a sense of potential that wasn't there before, like a puzzle piece sliding into place. "I was pretty angry with you this morning, but then Ryan stopped by."

Ethan blanches. "I know. I'm an asshole. I just woke up and looked at you, and everything just felt so intense and real. I swear I was going to call. I was going to talk to your brother, but he got to me first."

"Only Ryan could try to mastermind a meet-cute and fuck it up this badly." I sigh, but then look back at him, and the real concern in his storm-gray eyes. "You really were going to talk to him?"

Ethan nods, reaching forward and taking my free hand in his. He brings my fingertips up to his lips. "I knew how you felt. I feel the same. I didn't want to be one more person in your life who let you down. You're so important to me, Natalie."

His gaze holds mine, his eyes softening. It's like a physical weight lifted from my shoulders. All of this time spent wanting and hoping—maybe it wasn't for nothing after all. I let the sunflowers drop to the side and press forward, capturing his lips with mine. He hums softly into the kiss, reaching around to cup the back of my neck, pulling me closer.

I'd love to kiss him longer, but I hear my cashier clear her throat, and I break away, flushed. "You're going to get me fired from my own store."

He grins at me, and it makes my knees feel like they're made of water. "Let me make it up to you. Dinner. Tonight. 7 PM at Micomonicos."

I raise my eyebrows. "Fancy."

"Well, I have a lot to make up for, so it's a start." His expression is hopeful. "Well?"

"Yes, Hayes, I'll be there."

His smile is like the sun. Ethan rarely ever smiles like that, and it makes my chest feel warm. He kisses me one last time, earning a sigh from my cashier, and then he's gone.

A second date, and this time with my brother's approval. This calls for a little black dress.