Page 2

2

NATALIE

T he sushi is good, the plum wine is great, but the company trumps it all.

I can't believe Ethan is here with me. Speed dating felt like a total loser-fest until he sat down across from me, and I was thrown back into the past so hard that it made my head spin. I've been in love with Ethan from the moment I laid eyes on him, playing football with my brother in the empty lot behind our school, and I'm shocked that a decade has done nothing to make that feeling fade.

I took a single look at him, mature and devastatingly handsome, and knew that my time had come. He had topped out at 6 '4 when he was nineteen, but the years have put muscle on his frame—a lot of it. His dark hair is brushed back from his face with dark stubble to match, and his eyes are the color of an oncoming rainstorm. He still has the scar across one eyebrow where he fell skateboarding as a kid, and the memory makes my chest tight.

We aren't kids anymore. There's nothing between us holding us back unless you count Ryan, which I don't. Now all I have to do is find out if he's interested in me like I am, and this sushi date is a damn good sign.

As we sit down, he smiles, that dimple on the left side of his mouth pulling at my attention. His smile has always done something to my heart, but now, seeing it at an age where we might have something between us, it does more to me. We order an assortment of rolls, and I get a glass of plum wine before we really dig into our conversation.

"When did you move back to Boston?"

"Last year. I didn't plan on moving back, but a job opportunity popped up that I couldn't resist. How have you been since the last time I saw you? Ryan told me you've got an independent bookshop. How'd that come about?"

I nod. "A lot of work, but it was worth it. It took a couple of years of me just working at other shops, getting the experience and the connections I needed. Now, though, it's running as smoothly as it possibly can, and I feel really good about it.”

The conversation flows as smoothly as silk, and after we play catch-up, the flirting begins. I don't know who starts it, but it doesn't take long until my pulse is racing and my skin feels hot all over. He's intense and charming, his eyes bright and focused solely on me. The scar on his eyebrow just adds to his attractiveness, giving him that slight rugged edge I've always appreciated in guys.

By the time he's paying and we're heading out of the restaurant, I want to just ask him back to my apartment. I know it's not smart, not this soon. But I feel a little bit reckless tonight. After all, it's been ages since I've felt this way about a man, and Ethan isn't just a man. He's a friend, too, one that I feel completely comfortable with.

My brain is still trying to work through all the pros and cons as he walks me toward my apartment when I hear it.

"Natalie, baby!"

The familiar voice has my blood running cold.

Oh no, no, no, no.

I'm not ready for this tonight. Hell, I'll never be ready for it, but it looks like I don't have a choice.

I turn toward the street and see Jason's car pulled to the side, his driver's side window open, the familiar bastard grinning at me like I've missed an important appointment.

I have to fight not to curl my lip at him, trying to ignore the fact that my pulse is suddenly pounding in my throat and the back of my neck.

"Jason, hi,” I say, trying to be as polite as possible and hoping this will be short.

Jason's smile turns cruel as he eyes Ethan. "Are you gonna introduce me?"

"Sure," I say, and it's a struggle not to add asshole at the end. "Ethan Hayes, meet Jason Reed."

"A friend?" Ethan's guard is already up.

"Ex-boyfriend," I say because I don't want to lie, even though the last thing I want to do is put a label on my relationship with Jason. I broke up with him over a month ago when he became obsessively controlling, but he still isn’t taking the hint.

"Natalie," Jason chides, "are you really going to say that? We're just on a break, baby."

My skin crawls at that. "Like hell we are."

He's not having it. He opens his car door and gets out. "We're having this discussion, Nat."

"Ha. Like hell we are," I repeat, starting to back away from him.

Jason closes in on me, his hands held out like I'm a wild animal that needs to be calmed. "We can be together, babe. I'll take care of you like you want, and you can finally see that I'm the right man for you. Your friends, your brother ... they don't get it. I do, and I always will. We're meant to be together. All I need is another chance to prove it to you. Let me help you see reason. Please, Natalie?"

"Are you fucking crazy?" I snarl at him. "Get the fuck away from me."

Ethan has my wrist in his hand before Jason can react. "That's enough," Ethan says, his voice deadly and cold. "Leave now before I make you leave."

"Who are you to get between me and my girl?"

"Your girl," Ethan laughs. "Buddy, she is my girl. I've known her longer than you can even imagine. I know her favorite food, her favorite band. Hell, I know she's allergic to penicillin and that she's afraid of snakes. Now fuck off."

I'm stunned. I look up at Ethan like I've never seen him before, and it's like Jason isn't even here. "You remember all of that?"

He shoots me a warm glance, then turns back to Jason. "Have you fucked off yet?"

Jason, in the face of whatever is passing between me and Ethan, turns and leaves, but not before gracing us with a series of curses. I couldn't care less. Not with what is happening between me and my brother's best friend right now.

I've been in love with this man since forever, and I can't believe he remembers all the small, personal things about me, just as I've been secretly cataloging the things about him in my mind. The way he smirks, his intense, stormy eyes, that he prefers yakisoba to sushi. I even remember his first Xbox username. And it looks like he's been holding a candle for me, and my heart squeezes with hope.

I lean into him, wrapping my hands around his strong bicep. "Wow."

Ethan glances down at me. "You good?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. You were … amazing." I clear my throat before I start crying. "Want to come inside for coffee?"

"I thought you’d never ask." Ethan looks down at me, affection written all over his handsome face. "Come on. Let's go."

* * *

My apartment isn't anything to write home about. I have to keep things small with most of the finances having gone to opening the bookstore, but it's neat, tidy, and mine. Houseplants fill every available corner, and I'm grateful I cleaned a few days ago. The couch is small but comfortable, and there are piles of books everywhere. Ethan seems fascinated by it, his gaze warm, his eyes bright.

"It's like a peek inside your odd little mind," he teases, looking around.

I shoot him a look. "Whatever. It's clean."

"No, I like it. It suits you. It's very..."

"Cozy?" I offer, and he grins, his teeth bright and even.

"Yeah, that."

I like the way he says it, and I like that he's in my apartment. He's so big and broad that he seems to take up a lot of space even when he isn't doing anything. He's just looking at me, a slow, crooked smile pulling up the left side of his mouth. He always did that, but now there's something else there. Something hot, almost smoldering. My entire body responds.

I don't know what to say to break the tension between us, and I'm too nervous to even think, so I grab two beers from the fridge, opening them and passing one to Ethan before we sit on the couch. I tuck my feet underneath me, watching him. He leans back, spreading one arm over the back of the couch, the picture of ease. His eyes rove over me again, making me squirm, but it isn't because I'm uncomfortable. He just makes me feel things, things I thought I'd never be able to feel.

Here we are, both grown up. Both alone now. The moment stretches between us, and the tension grows even more. He takes a swig of his beer, then puts it down on the table.

"Nat," he starts.

I don't know why my heart skips a beat when he says it, but it does, and I lean forward, closer to him, because I can't help it. He makes me feel warm inside. Safe. Like I've always wanted. I put my hand on his shoulder, the movement deliberate and slow. He doesn't pull away. His eyes flicker down to my lips, then back to my eyes, and then his big hand comes up to my face. His skin is hot on mine, and the warmth spreads down my neck.

"You've changed," I whisper because I don't know what else to say. It feels like everything has changed between us. The air feels heavy, and his touch lights my blood on fire.

"We both have." For a second, I'm sure he's going to kiss me, so sure that I lick my lips in anticipation. But then I hear him curse under his breath, and he stands, stepping towards the door. "I … fuck. I should go. I want to see you again, but..."

I'm reeling. "But what?"

He shrugs. "You know. Ryan."

"Oh, fuck Ryan." How is my brother ruining this for me when he isn't even here? I've never felt like this about any man but Ethan, and I'm tired of letting Ryan dictate who I can be with and what I can do with my life.

"He's your brother, Nat. He's important to me. I can't disrespect him like that. He's my best friend."

I stand, going towards him until we're right in front of each other once more. "You're overthinking this." I glance down at his lips again, and I'm right where I want to be. "Do you really think we wouldn't have happened eventually? Do you really think there isn't something between us?"

He can't answer, but I see it on his face. There is something.

"Can you just … hold me?" I ask finally. If he isn't going to kiss me, I just want this one simple thing before he goes.

He pauses.

"Please," I say.

He gives a deep exhale of surrender, the sound of it reverberating through my whole body, and suddenly, his arms are around me, crushing me into him. I bury my face against his neck, and for a second, I just breathe in the scent of him, savoring it, knowing I can't have this for longer than the next few minutes.

He doesn't move, he doesn't talk. I'm just standing here with his arms around me. I could die a happy woman just standing here. I can't remember the last time I felt safe like this with a man, like I know nothing will ever happen to me, not even in this crazy world. He smells good, like soap, like expensive cologne, and beneath it all, hundreds of days in the summer sun when we were so much younger and free.

"I missed you," I whisper.

His voice is thick when he responds. "I missed you too."