Page 4 of Love.V2 (Occupational Hazards #2)

Tess

Six months later - Chicago

“Scale of one to ten, how much are you freaking out right now?”

Two thousand? I hummed, hands shaking as I downed the rest of my coffee.

Black with a little milk. I usually preferred something sweet and flavored, but I was out of creamer and my anxiety had eaten me alive yesterday.

Going to the store had seemed like an insurmountable task. “Probably like an eight?”

“Liar. It’s at least fifteen,” Vanna accused.

“Yeah, that’s probably more accurate,” I admitted, relieved she’d lowballed it. Fifteen was high, but it was no two thousand.

“Just remember, today is like any other day. The sun rises, you go to work, you go home,” she coached. I could hear the soft cooing of a baby in the background.

I’d told myself I was going to stop using Vanna as an emotional crutch. With everything going on in her life, I shouldn’t have bugged her, but today was an exception.

“It’s just a presentation. You’ve given hundreds of presentations throughout your very prestigious career, young lady.” She was lecturing now, and to be honest, it kind of helped. I desperately needed a distraction and some external validation.

Unlike college, my most recent dramatic life upheaval didn’t come with a pre-assigned dorm buddy.

No study hall or group assignments to force me a little further out of my shell.

Most days, this 2.0 version of my adult life was just me, my teeny apartment, and the job I still wasn’t sure I was qualified for.

No friends…no Dylan. Just Vanna on the other side of the world. I really needed to find some people in my own zip code.

“Right. It’s just a presentation,” I repeated. Where I have to report my first six months’ progress at my new job. In front of my ex.

I took a deep breath—in for four, out for four—and told myself it was okay to be nervous. Under my leadership, the creative department at Jinx had done some great work, but we’d also lost a few deals, and I wasn’t excited to rehash that.

I’d worked on proposals all the time at Worther.

I knew the drill: you won some; you lost some.

Now, though, I was in charge of those pitches, and Jinx, the boutique creative agency I worked for, was a smaller shop.

Much smaller. I didn’t know a ton about the business side of things, but I assumed the missed opportunities would eventually start to add up.

I wasn’t sure how many losses were acceptable, or at what point Jinx’s CEO, Eric, would realize I didn’t know what I was doing and send me packing.

“It’s just a video meeting, right? And a bunch of other people are presenting, too. Just ignore the screen,” Vanna said, but I heard her unspoken advice: ignore him.

Dylan. My other half for over a decade.

When I’d found out the Worther executive team was going to virtually sit in on Jinx’s annual Town Hall, I’d spiraled into the spiral of all spirals.

I didn’t feel great about my job most of the time, anyway.

Yes, it was fun and challenging, but I hadn’t really gotten the hang of it yet.

Having to admit defeat in front of my former bosses was demoralizing.

And facing Dylan? I wasn’t ready for that. Even if it was just through a screen.

I rubbed at my chest. I’d thought I’d gotten used to the sinking, caving in feeling in my ribcage that had followed me all the way to Chicago, but today, the thought of seeing him again exacerbated the symptoms of my heartbreak, making it hard to breathe.

In for four, out for four. I shoved a strand of lavender hair behind my ears.

Ditching my natural blonde had felt like a fresh start.

I’d always wanted to dye it, and over the last few months, I’d experimented with emerald green, then a bright teal, before settling on this softer, more muted shade.

It was a choice I made for me, and me alone, and I loved it every time I looked in the mirror.

Now, though, I wondered what Dylan would think, and if it would look like some desperate, clichéd post-breakup move.

Oh, God. Was it?

“So, just pick a spot somewhere on the wall, focus on that for an hour or so, then go about your life. How bad could it be? Unless, wait. Is the twat going to be there?”

I snorted a laugh before it devolved into a groan. “Yes.”

My co-worker Victoria, who Vanna dubbed ‘the twat’, had unfortunately been integral in pulling my slides together. Since I hadn’t been at Jinx a full year, I’d needed Victoria to fill in the blank on the months I wasn’t there. And boy, had she been glad to fill in those blanks.

I wasn’t sure why she hated me. All I knew was since the day I started, she’d done everything she could to undermine my position.

Hijacking presentations, redirecting designers to work on something other than what I’d assigned, and blatantly ignoring my direction.

It was an issue, and one I didn’t know how to deal with on the best of days.

I hadn’t had a best of days in what felt like years.

“Well, fuck her. And while we’re at it? Fuck Dylan, too,” Vanna railed.

“Hey, feisty, that baby needs to go back to sleep soon. Don’t get her all riled up,” I warned, smiling at the image of my spunky, loud-mouthed college roommate cradling an infant.

I would have sworn Vanna would never settle down, but when she met Adrianna, everything had changed.

Now, she was living her best life in Singapore, raising adopted twins, and yelling at people in two different languages in international courtrooms. I was so happy for her, even though thinking about her perfect life seemed to shine a spotlight on my lonely, broken one.

“Eff them. I’m serious. Icky Vicky has been nothing but evil to you for months, and Dylan was with you for twelve years , totally lost himself in work, and ignored you most of the time.”

“You don’t have to remind me of what happened with Dylan,” I croaked, surveying my apartment.

Along with my second-hand rug, bright prints on the walls made the miniscule square footage seem homey.

The mountain of dishes in the sink ruined the effect, though.

I could handle those tonight. Maybe. If I had the energy and mental anything left after today.

“Dylan’s the one who messed this up. It should be him freaking out right now. You’re going to walk into that conference room and show them why you, out of all the people who applied to work there, are the right person to lead the creative department at Jinx. Right?”

“Right,” I muttered, grabbing my work bag and slipping out the door.

“Right?!” Vanna demanded loudly, just as my elderly neighbor stepped outside her door.

“Um…right,” I repeated, slightly more enthusiastically as I waved to the neighbor without making eye contact. I hadn’t caught her name when I’d moved in, and now it felt like too much time had gone by to introduce myself.

“Theresa, don’t make me put this baby down and yell at you. I. Can’t. Hear. You!”

I cleared my throat, throwing my shoulders back. “Right. Right!” I repeated, gaining some volume as I smiled. “I can do this!”

“Fuck yeah! Kick ass today, Tessie.” A baby’s soft cry drowned out the last of her words. As soon as the call ended, my smile slid off my face.

After six long, miserable months, I was going to see him again. My heart jumped in my chest, squeezing and flipping at the same time.

That was the thing I couldn’t tell Vanna. My best friend had hated Dylan fully and completely the moment our relationship had imploded .

She’d never understand how mortified and nervous and terrified I was to face him. And at the same time, I had been looking forward to this day ever since I learned I’d get a chance to see him again.

My anxiety spiked at the thought.

In for four, out for four.

***

“…see some of the fantastic feedback our clients provided at the end of the campaign. We’ve already signed with them for another project in the coming months. Of course, they can’t all be winners. Tess, you want to take these?”

Victoria grinned at me with pointy vampire teeth, chestnut hair slicked back in a perfect corporate bun. The baby blue color of her blouse deepened the olive hue of her skin, making her hazel eyes stand out, shrewd and predatory, in the overly bright conference room light.

She looked sharp and polished, and she’d neatly commandeered my slides, no matter how many times I’d tried to interject myself and take back control.

Somehow, she’d ended up with the clicker to advance the presentation, and every time I jumped in, she moved along like she had been the one poring over the deck for weeks, not me.

I gulped, glancing quickly around the table, feeling sloppy and unprepared.

Noel, a designer on my team, shot me a sympathetic smile.

Henry, one of the production artists, gave me a thumbs up.

I appreciated the support, but it came too late.

Victoria had done a great job explaining our team’s biggest wins over the last year, and now I was stuck talking about clients we’d lost and proposals that hadn’t quite hit the mark.

I should have been angrier, but mostly, I just felt relieved. I smiled at the faces on the video screen.

“Of course. Our team does incredible work, but occasionally, we have a project that falls short. We have a few learnings from the last twelve months that we’ll bring with us on future pitches.”

After walking through my lonely, miserable “losses” slide, the sales team hopped in to recap their year. I blew out a breath, trying not to make eye contact with my team.

All around me, the Jinx staff, forty people strong, lounged in an assortment of chairs dragged from around the office. Our little conference room was packed and getting stuffier by the minute, which didn’t help my flaming cheeks, still prickling from Victoria’s coup.

If Dylan had been there, I would have passed out.