Page 55 of Lovesick Titan (Lovesick #2)

There was a bag on the right side of the bed he began to dig through until he made a noise of satisfaction, situating next to Mal in a cross-legged position, and tore the wrapper from an energy bar.

Like many times before, Mal was left tingling and sprawled out in the aftermath while Danny chomped on a snack.

And damn if the whole display didn’t make him love the kid more.

Catching Mal staring, Danny tilted the half-eaten protein bar toward him.

“I’m good, thanks.”

“I’d much rather have leftover bulgogi,” Danny said. “Or Thai food. Or your French toast!” His stomach gave a weak gurgle at the thought as he finished the protein bar.

“That gonna be enough for you?” Mal asked.

“I’ll survive. Ate a lot at dinner. I’d rather enjoy the moment.” Licking his lips of remaining crumbs, he smiled all too charmingly and snuggled in beside Mal, pulling the covers over them. Just as well; Mal wasn’t sure he could move more than allowing Danny to wrap him up in long, spindly arms.

No one held Malcolm Cho. No one snuggled him and smiled and cared. It filled his heart to bursting how easily Danny fell into the role and made him want to be everything the other man needed—even though he knew now that them against the world wasn’t how it had to be.

He kissed Danny chaste and gentle on the lips. Still, tired as he was, tired as Danny looked, it wasn’t time to fall asleep yet.

“Tell me,” Mal said, hooking his thumb around Danny’s jaw.

“Tell you what?”

“Everything. I want to know how bad it got, how bad it was…that you had a bottle of pills,” Danny flinched at the mention, “and need to be reminded of what a miracle you are with pixels,” then smiled when Mal stroked his thumb along Danny’s cheekbone.

“It’s kind of a long story.”

“You wanna start like David Copperfield, you can.”

Danny chuckled. “We don’t need ‘I am born’. It started when Mom—no, when Rick…” he trailed, eyes going distant.

“Tell me.”

So Danny did. He told Mal about meeting his partner, how it was the first time he’d felt like he fit somewhere, having always been the weird kid at school, rambling about conspiracies and the impossible until only Stella and his parents and a few patient teachers still looked at him like he was normal.

He never had many friends. He could be as personable and cheery as you like, get people to warm to him easily, but sometimes things got dark, and not everyone could handle that. Stella could, but with Rick…

“Were you in love with him?”

“What?” Danny turned wide eyes on Mal. “It wasn’t like that.

Things were just different with him than with Stella.

Maybe coz we’re both men? But no, it’s different with Andre too.

Stella’s more my sister than my friend. And Andre and I have different things in common.

Same with Lynn. But with Rick, we just…got each other. You know?”

“I do. Dom and I are at odds plenty, but we’re like that too. Have been for over twenty years. Course there was a time when we gave being more a shot. ”

“Really?”

“Went up in smoke. Or maybe steam...” Mal snickered when Danny shook his head at him. “Didn’t get past a first kiss, Sparky, relax. We aren’t each other’s type. Just needed to test that back when we were kids. But as a friend, at times she’s meant more to me than anyone.”

“Exactly,” Danny said. “I’d never lost anyone until Rick. Then to lose Mom so soon after…”

He told Mal about Thanatos again. About losing his composure, his control. About months of blaming himself and blaming Mal. About how low he had been when he faced Camouflage and how appealing the thought of hurting someone had seemed back then.

The worst and yet maybe most important part was hearing Danny’s plan to ruin Mal, finally hearing it from start to finish; all Danny’s cruelties and twisted strategies, but how the real Mal he got to know chipped away at everything he thought he wanted until he found something so much better than revenge.

“I kept telling myself you were conning me , that it was justified, that you deserved it, but even when I was lying to myself, there were times when I…forgot. That night, when I scared you with the invisible suit…” He clenched his eyes shut.

“That damn suit, I…I just wanted to make you feel safe again. I wasn’t thinking about leaving someday and tearing your heart out.

I wanted to show you how amazing you are, how beautiful your scars can be…

” Peeking his eyes open, when he looked at Mal, he smiled as though everything he saw was all he’d ever ask for.

Mal hadn’t spoken much while Danny told him the tale of his deepest pains and fears. Even now he wasn’t sure what words would be enough, so he simply held Danny and smiled, waiting patiently for him to continue.

“When Dunkirk attacked you, that was the night I was going to tell you the truth. That’s why I’d avoided you for so long.

I didn’t know how to say it without hurting you.

I just knew I had to be honest, had to explain.

But instead of coming clean, I lost myself in you again and…

and then I ran when you opened up and told me you loved me.

” He choked on the words, tears edging closer to the surface.

It was all so fresh for them still, yet so much had happened since that night .

Mal lay in a storage closet in the basement of the OCPD, wrapped in the arms of Zeus , talking love and life, maybe even a future, while he brushed away the tears leaking from Danny’s eyes. Nothing about this had to make sense, it just had to work for them.

“I forgive you, Danny. Do you forgive me? For all the rest?”

“Of course,” Danny said. “I’m not…better, maybe I’ll never be better, but when I was honest with you, that’s when I was happiest.”

“That’s just it. Wasn’t me. It was you. Being who you are and not pretending you’re okay when you’re not.”

“I know. The pills…” Danny cringed at bringing them up again, “…Lynn gave them to me to help, and they did, I believed they did, but Ludgate kept messing with me, and you hated me, and I got so low…I thought about it. About ending it all.”

Mal would be lying if he said he’d never thought about it himself when he was young.

It hadn’t stuck for him. Didn’t haunt him.

Only maybe it did, in other ways, given the life he’d led, but it wasn’t the same as the pain he saw in Danny’s eyes.

There was no competition over who’d had it tougher, just different pain handled differently, and sometimes it wasn’t enough without help.

“After I threw the pills away, Lynn told me the truth,” Danny continued.

“Meds can’t help me. Someone else like me, sure, but not me, not with my healing.

I have to crawl my way out of this slower, until something snaps into place and my body finally gets it.

And maybe that’ll never happen. Maybe it’ll always be a struggle.

But Ludgate is not taking my life from me.

He’s not taking my happiness or my control or my hope.

That’s mine, and I am going to get better.

“So…if you can handle knowing I might have bad days…” Danny’s voice dropped lower, hesitant.

“We all have bad days.”

“Not like mine.”

There was a deep sadness in the way he said that, not as if he was giving up, just accepting of how much farther he still had to go, that he might always need to fight.

Mal stroked his cheek. “I think we can both admit we’ve seen each other at our best and worst. I’d still like nothing more than this .” Squeezing Danny closer, he tangled their legs together tight. “If that’s enough for you too? ”

The clouds parted from Danny’s expression, and he smiled like he could outshine any sadness that ever touched him. It wasn’t as easy as that, Mal knew, but Danny’s light was extraordinary and kept on twinkling even when it got buried.

They went for each other at the same time, lips meeting, bodies flush in how they held on. It was all so new for Mal, having something like this. He kissed Danny’s nose when they pulled apart, and Danny giggled, tapping his fingers down Mal’s chest.

“Lynn said you figured it out, that you knew Ludgate wasn’t me. How?”

“The way he acted should have been enough, but no one jumps to the conclusion they’re looking at an imposter.

Had this feeling though, wouldn’t go away, like I get on a job sometimes that’s about to go sour.

Then it was the little things. No lightning.

The way he ran from the room we’d blocked off from reflections.

Getting inside the cold field without any sign of frost. But what made it click was when he tried to pull that black eyes con. That isn’t you.

“He said something strange though, I nearly forgot. You probably didn’t hear him.”

“What was it?” Danny asked.

“He said…‘It’s your fault he’ll never know what we’ve made of each other’. He was talking about how he blamed you for his powers.”

“The night I killed Thanatos. The explosion at the power plant had something to do with it. The aftershocks hit the circus he was visiting. Trauma’s how I got my powers, so it makes sense.

But he said ‘ he’ll never know’? Did he mean Thanatos?

Do you think he knew him? We could never figure out Thanatos’s identity.

There wasn’t much of his face left after I…

” Danny cringed but pushed his cloying guilt aside.

“He wasn’t in the system when we checked his DNA.

Whoever he was, he didn’t have a record and wasn’t logged as an Elemental anywhere. ”

The gears in Mal’s head started to turn. “Do you still have his DNA on file?”

“Sure. In our records down here.”

“And you have Ludgate’s?”

Danny nodded, easily guessing where Mal was going with this. “You think there’s more relation than just wrong place, wrong time. Ludgate used to be Cassius Dougal Junior , remember? ”