Page 14 of Love’s Harvest (Lilace Lake #3)

“I didn’t get to do much last year. I had to stay home to hand out candy to the kids in the neighborhood. So, this year will be fun. What should I dress up as?”

“Anything you want as long as it isn’t too scary,” said Sarah.

“Okay. I’ll think of something,” said April smiling.

Wyatt appeared. “Do you have anything heavy that I need to move for you? My work downstairs is done for the day.”

Sarah noticed the way Wyatt was trying not to look at April and how he couldn’t stop himself from doing so. Playing along with his request, she said, “Nothing heavy to move, but you can restock some of the shelves up here with items we just checked in.”

“Okay, no problem. Glad to do it,” said Wyatt.

April smiled at him, and his ears turned red. With his blond hair, blue eyes, and muscular body he was awfully cute.

Sarah showed Wyatt where to place things and then she went to her office so the two young people could be alone. April was fully capable of doing the work without Sarah’s supervision. This would be a test for her.

Luke followed her into the office and lay down on the rug. But his ears continued to twitch as conversation between April and Wyatt took place.

Watching him, Sarah’s lips curved. “Luke, you’re the best dog ever.”

He gazed up at her and thumped his tail against the rug.

She thought of all the changes in the last couple of days and was amazed at how normal her “new” life seemed.

###

Sarah got ready to attend the grief support group she’d signed up for.

She was lucky she had parents who could watch the girls for a couple of hours while she went to it.

They’d used babysitting as a lure to bring her back to town but were faithful about following through.

The girls adored them and rightly so. They were wonderful grandparents.

It was a cool and rainy fall night. Sarah wished the girls and her babysitting father goodnight and then walked to her car parked in her driveway.

She had a one-car garage that had some old furniture stored there.

Unloading it was another project for her to do now that she could face making those changes.

She drove to the Unitarian Church sitting in the middle of town and parked.

Sitting inside her car, she drew deep breaths.

She was someone who held her feelings close to her.

She’d tried the group right after she moved back to town but wasn’t settled enough in her mind to want to confess a true part of her feelings. Now, she hoped she was ready.

Inside the church, in one of the social rooms, she found a small group of people and was surprised to see April’s father there. The others appeared to be older. She unclasped her hands and realized this might be easier than she’d thought.

Blake gave her a nod in greeting, and she went and sat down in the empty chair beside him so she wouldn’t have to stare at him from across the circle of chairs.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” he said to her.

“It’s been a while in coming, but I realize I need to do this. I like the idea that anything spoken here will be honored as confidential,” said Sarah.

“Me, too,” said Blake. “I’ve kept a lot of feelings stuffed inside, tried to escape it. But April needs her father, and I intend to stay.”

“What will you do here?” asked Sarah. “Aaron and Brad Collister own the Meadows and are always in need of help if you have any skills they can use.”

“I’m renting a house, but I intend to buy one in town. I could use their ideas for renovation,” he said.

“Oh, in that case, you’ll want to talk to Dani, Brad’s wife. She’s an architect and is fantastic at designing additions and upgrading homes. Have you found a house you like?”

“I have an idea I’m developing for housing,” he said. “As far as a job is concerned, I have a degree in financial management and was doing that kind of work for a company outside Boston before my wife died, and then I sort of crashed and burned.”

“Do you want to continue in that line of business?” asked Sarah.

“No,” said Blake firmly. “I purposely chose to hit the road and get as far away from a corporate lifestyle as possible. Now, because of April, I want to be home with her every night. These are difficult years for any child, and she’s had way too much to deal with.

I thought it would be helpful for her to be with another woman, my mother.

But as close as they sometimes are, April needs a different homelife.

” He shook his head. “I uprooted April from her school and handed her off to my mom and ran. I’ve been pretty screwed up. ”

An older woman entered the room and said, “Hello, everyone. I’m Dr. Ellen Fitzpatrick, your grief counselor. But please simply call me Ellen. I’m delighted to see so many of you here ready to navigate your losses.”

She moved to one of the chairs in the circle.

“This is a safe place for all of you. Like AA, we won’t be sharing names with anyone outside the circle, and all information told here will be considered confidential.

You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want help coping with a loss of some kind.

Feel free to share your thoughts, but kindness and respect are essential from all of us. ”

Sarah moved uncomfortably in her chair when Ellen continued. “Please, everyone, share your name and why you’re here.”

The person next to her began.

When it was Sarah’s turn, she gripped her hands. “My name is Sarah. I’m here because my husband committed suicide almost two years ago and I’m still trying to cope with what happened.”

Blake’s turn was next. “Hi, everyone. I’m Blake. My wife was killed in a car accident with another man. They were running away together.” He hesitated. “She was an addict, and he was her supplier.”

Hearing the pain in his voice, Sarah’s stomach clenched.

No wonder the man had wanted to escape and hit the road himself.

No other announcements were as surprising.

Most of the other eight people were here for deaths of loved ones due to cancer and heart conditions.

One woman announced her spouse had died from what she’d called simply old age.

Ellen guided them into discussions of survivor’s guilt, typical angry reactions, and other responses. “All responses are acceptable. There’s no judgement here.”

When Ellen spoke to Sarah about the anger Sarah had worked on over the weekend, Ellen gave her a nod of approval. “It’s okay to be angry. Especially when suicide has been committed. It leaves those left behind with penetrating questions about whether any of it was their fault.”

“Can we ever know what truly goes on in another’s mind?” asked Blake. “My wife left not only me but my daughter when she took off that day. I know she loved my daughter, but I guess she loved drugs more.”

“Addiction is a topic unto itself,” said Ellen. “I’m very sorry about your situation. Tell me how you’re handling it.”

“That’s just it. I’m not handling it very well.

I took off, too, leaving my daughter with my mother, coming back often to visit as often as I could while driving trucks for a living.

I felt someone else would do a better job of parenting than I could because I couldn’t even keep a wife. Guess that makes me an asshole.”

“It makes you a hurting, confused person. I’m glad you’re here. Have you talked to others about your feelings?” Ellen asked Blake.

“A counselor in Boston who I couldn’t relate to. An older man who doesn’t really understand the drug culture,” Blake replied.

“We’ll have plenty of time to delve into situations like this in the coming weeks. I’ve arranged to have a special speaker join us.”

After a little more time, the meeting ended, and people stood around chatting and sipping punch and cookies.

Blake approached Sarah. “I’m sorry about your husband.”

“And I’m sorry about your wife,” Sarah said. She put a hand on his arm. “You’re no asshole. Your daughter adores and respects you.”

“She’s something all right. With your help and Poppy’s, April’s coming out of her shell and beginning to find her place in school. Who’s Wyatt?”

“A popular boy in high school who may have a crush on April. I must warn you, though, that his girlfriend, a student named Lindsay Legget, is very mean and won’t like that idea at all.”

“Am I making it up or was high school a lot easier back when I went to school than it is now?”

“It’s always been a struggle, but with social media, it’s much harder. I’m glad I don’t have to be a high school student today,” said Sarah.

“I’ll protect my girl any way I can,” said Blake with a look of resolution.

“That’s sweet to hear,” Sarah said. “Are you coming to Jake’s on Thursday?”

Blake nodded. “Like you said, it’s a great group of people. I’m meeting Poppy there.”

“Poppy is one of the best. She’s a wonderful addition to town. She came here to take care of a dying family member and has chosen to stay.”

“Yes, I know. She’s living in the family house that needs quite a bit of renovation. I’m thinking I may be able to help her. But please don’t say a word to anyone about it,” said Blake.

“I won’t,” Sarah answered, but her mind was spinning.