Page 22

Chapter 21

“What’s the most romantic thing Dane has ever done for you?” Charlisse asked, resting her chin in her hand and staring at me with stars in her eyes.

“Oh. Um. Wow, I’m not sure,” I hedged.

She gave me puppy dog eyes. “Pleeeease, Eden. I need to live vicariously through you. God knows I haven’t seen any amorous action since before Cooper was born.” Her eyebrows bobbed up and down. “I bet Dane is super romantic. I can tell by the way he looks at you.”

The way he what? Sure, he’s affectionate in front of other people, but that’s just for show, right? Then something popped into my head, and I bit my bottom lip as my thumb toyed with my wedding ring. I wasn’t able to explain why, but I’d stopped taking it off at night.

“He knows I like lilacs, so when he bakes every week, he makes me a special cupcake, or whatever dessert he’s making, with a frosting lilac on top.”

Charlisse swooned back against her chair and dramatically covered her forehead with her wrist. “Gawd, that’s so flipping sweet! Seriously, the little things are what matter most, not the big, grand gestures. It shows that his love for you is ongoing.”

I tried my best not to react with a startled look at the L-word. Pushing the corners of my mouth upward, I attempted to look like a lovestruck fool. After all, Dane and I were newlyweds. Well, pretend newlyweds.

She got up and refilled our tea. “And I think he’ll be a great dad. He was so patient with Cooper that night the baby turtles hatched.”

A few weeks ago, Dane and I had been walking on the beach when we saw movement in one of the nests we’d previously marked. I’d immediately called Charlisse, and she’d gotten her son out of bed and brought him to the beach in his Hulk pajamas. Dane had held the boy’s hand and explained how the babies were making their way to the water to find their mom.

“He is a good guy,” I said as images of last night in the shower flitted through my brain like a slideshow.

The way his fingers cleaned my face so softly. The way his hands took their time washing and rinsing my hair. The way he didn’t look down even once.

Why the hell hadn’t I felt intimidated by that big man towering over me in the confines of the shower? Why had I, instead, felt a wave of comfort and contentment wash over me as soon as he stepped into the space, as warm as the water coursing down my back? The answer was immediate. Because he took care of you, Eden. Made you feel safe.

A genuine smile melted across my lips and loosened my jaw. Charlisse must have noticed because she squealed, “Oh my god, you’re thinking about sexy times, aren’t you?” Her voice lowered conspiratorially. “I bet Dane is amazing in bed. That deep voice and those bedroom eyes. Whew! You’re a lucky girl, Eden.”

He did have a very deep voice, but bedroom eyes? I pictured them in my head. Heavy lids, brown irides that seemed to darken when he touched my face… How would they look if he was on top of me?

With a giggle that I hoped didn’t sound as hysterical as it felt, I busied myself by dabbing at my lips with a paper napkin. “Girl,” I said, waving the napkin at her, “I can’t even tell you how good Dane is in bed.”

And that was the god’s honest truth because I had no idea. But now my curiosity was piqued. Dane’s flirt game was top-level. Would that translate to some dirty talk between the sheets?

My thighs clenched together, and I quickly turned the subject back around to Charlisse. “So, it’s been a while for you?”

Her nose crinkled. “Yeah, not many guys our age want to date a woman with a toddler. I’m thinking of getting myself a sugar daddy.” We both burst into laughter, and then she shook her head. “Who am I kidding? I always seem to pick guys who have no ambition outside of what new video game their mommy is going to buy for them next.”

I shrugged. “No one can change your choices except for you. Just make a conscious effort to choose differently.”

“You’re right,” she sighed, taking a sip of her iced tea. “Maybe I’ll try dating again when Coop is a little older. I’m too freaking tired now.”

Both our heads swiveled toward the front of her house when we heard a knock at the door. “That’s probably Dane,” I said, standing and placing my cup and our plates in the dishwasher. “Thanks for letting me hang with you while he was running his errands.” Which he was rather vague about.

“Hey, I’m happy to have an adult to converse with about something other than footbawwwl, ” she said with a laugh as we headed to the front door.

Dane was indeed on the other side, and his concerned eyes met mine as I stood just behind Charlisse. “Hey, babe. How are you feeling?”

My friend’s head swiveled in my direction. “Are you sick?”

“No,” I laughed. “I promise I wouldn’t come over if I were. I just… didn’t sleep well last night. That’s all.” Looking back at my fake husband, I gave him a small smile. “I’m feeling good.”

Because you sat with me while I slept. Because you held my hand until I woke up this morning. Because you kept the patio door open all night so I could breathe.

Dane held out a bright-yellow bag to Charlisse. “Got this for the kid. He seems to like football, and the lady at the bookstore said this was a good one.”

She pulled out a large book with cartoon football players on the cover. It was one of those pop-up books and was completely adorable.

“Dane! You didn’t have to do that. Cooper is napping right now, but I’ll give it to him when he wakes up. He will love this.” She flipped through a few of the pages, a huge smile on her face.

My pretend-husband’s cheeks pinkened. “My mom used to read to me when I was a kid. Every night before bed.” My heart ached a little for him, knowing what I knew about his mother.

Charlisse gave him a quick hug. “I do the same with Coop. Thank you for this. Really, it was so thoughtful.”

Dane reached for my hand, his eyes holding mine as he kissed my knuckles. “You ready to go, E?” Seriously, every inch of my body was melting at once, like a mass-swooning at the cellular level.

“I’m ready,” I said way too breathlessly, and Charlisse nudged me with her elbow, a smug smile on her lips. I gave her a warm hug and allowed Dane to hold my hand as we crossed the street. “What errands did you have? You’ve been gone for hours.”

“I went to the hardware store and a couple other places in that shopping center,” he said, unlocking and opening the door. “Then I came back here to take care of something. Come on and I’ll show you.” He led me to my bedroom, his lips rolled inward between his teeth.

“Why are you acting weird?”

Dane’s eyes flickered to me, just a fleeting glance before he opened my door. “I did a quick home improvement project.” He pointed at what used to be a light switch that had been replaced with a dimmer switch. “I talked to Robert and Jamie to make sure it was okay,” he assured me.

I punched the button and then twisted it back and forth, watching as the overhead light brightened and then dimmed. “You did this?” I asked incredulously, and he shrugged with nonchalance.

“It wasn’t hard. The lady at the hardware store told me how to do it.”

A lady? Was he with her the past few hours? Is that why he’s acting so sketchy? For some reason, that bothered me, the thought of him being with someone else. I mean, our marriage wasn’t real, but he could blow our cover if he was out there whoring around. On that subject, what is he doing about his… needs?

“Did you sleep with her?” That fell out of my mouth like the cringiest word waterfall ever. Dammit to hell, Eden. What the fuck?

“Who?” His brow was creased so deeply, I wasn’t sure he’d ever get rid of the wrinkles.

I picked at the fringe on the bottom hem of my shorts. “The, um, the hardware store lady.”

“Agnes?” he asked with a chuckle. “No, I’m not into cougars.”

“What are you into?” Shut. Up. Stop talking now!

He linked his index finger with mine and pulled me across the room. “I’m into wildcats,” he said flatly, not looking at me. “I got you a few other lighting options as well.” His free hand gestured at the area around my bed, and I had to force myself not to laugh.

And what was that about wildcats?

“A few?”

Dane pushed out a sigh and stroked his beard, surveying everything he’d bought. “Maybe I went overboard. I just wanted you to have choices close at hand in case you have another nightmare.”

Two of those push-button lights had been stuck on either side of the white padded headboard. But that was only the beginning of Dane’s illumination shopping spree. My finger touched the pretty silver lamp on the nightstand, and it lit up. I tapped it twice more, and it got brighter and then turned off. Then I picked up each flashlight—there were six of them, by the way—and flicked them on and back off.

He lifted the heavy-duty Maglite and gave me a chagrined smile. “I guess this one could be used as a weapon if needed.” Setting it down, he gestured to the plugs dotting the walls around the room. “I got some nightlights too.”

There were three of them, and they were all shaped like turtles. My heart squeezed almost to the point of pain in my chest.

“Thank you,” I eked out, and Dane gave me a self-deprecating smile.

“Hope I didn’t overstep. I just… you scared me last night, Eden, and I think maybe you need to talk to someone.”

“I talked to you.”

His lips pressed together, and he shook his head. “I mean a professional. Like a counselor or psychiatrist or something.”

My eyebrows inched together. “It was only one nightmare, Dane.”

But that turned out to not be altogether accurate. Over the next week, I had four more horrible dreams, those featuring the lifeless bodies of my family.

And every night, Dane was by my side, holding my hand, taking me outside, letting me cry until my eyeballs ached. In the light of day the mornings after, he always begged me to talk to someone.

But my answer never changed. No.

“Good morning. How was your shower?” Dane asked from beside the stove where he was scrambling eggs. Shirtless.

“It was good.”

He plated the eggs and pulled a pan of bacon from the oven before dividing the slices between two square white plates. “They had some nice fruits at the market,” he said, carrying our food to the breakfast bar and setting them down. “The pineapple is really sweet.”

Orange and pineapple slices had been arranged around plump purple grapes on a blue-and-white floral platter, and I loaded my plate with fruit. “Thank you for breakfast. I would have cooked.”

“You always overcook the eggs,” he muttered, sitting on the stool beside me. He wasn’t wrong.

After we finished eating and were cleaning the kitchen, my eyes dropped to the white bandage he’d been wearing on his chest the past few days. The top edge was peeling up.

“I’m sorry about that,” I said, nodding at where he’d covered my fingernail marks on his skin the day after my first nightmare. I hadn’t thought they were bad enough to require a bandage, but maybe… “Are you keeping it clean? You probably need to change this bandage.”

I reached for it, and he took a step back, smoothing the tape back down. “It’s fine.”

My eyes narrowed, and I matched his backward step with a forward one of my own. “Don’t be a baby. Let me look.”

Dane’s eyes rolled, and he dropped his hand. “Fine. You’re going to see it at some point anyway.”

Giving him a curious look, I swiftly peeled the bandage off his chest to reveal— What the hell is that?

The fingernail marks were practically invisible, just tiny, pale crescents now. But above each one were marks in the same precise shape, only these were inked.

“Are those tattoos?” He didn’t speak, merely nodded, his eyes wary. “Why did you get tattoos of my fingernails?”

“They’re… tattoos of your pain and your fear.” His brown eyes were solemn when he looked down at me. “I can’t take those things away from you, but I can carry a part of them with me.”

Tears pooled on my bottom eyelids and then broke free, making a downward trek over my cheeks. The tats, the long nights beside my bed, the grim set of his mouth… all of that told me he was determined to help in any way he could, but my stubborn ass wasn’t allowing him to.

I kissed his new ink, each of the five replicas of my own fingernails, before wrapping my arms around his bare torso and hugging him.

My words were spoken softly, but I knew he heard them because I felt the tension practically flow from his body.

“I’ll talk to someone.”