Page 39 of Love, Nemesis (Ocean to Ashes #2)

JASPER RODE UP beside Ana. She’d been waiting on a hill with a view of the Mystic war encampment nestled within a nearby valley.

“I mailed the letters to the borders and the capital,” he said, following beside her as she turned her horse toward the camp. “They’re far out, but it’s better than nothing.”

There was no outward indication of culture. The design spoke of Ares’s intellect with muddy brown tents and borrowed State caravans that would make the war camp look like nothing more than a drab festival.

“Anything stick out while I was gone?” Jasper said, both of them watching the encampment below.

“Ana?” he prodded.

Ana nodded before glancing down at her hands and then back at him.

“They’re blending in well from what I can see at this distance.

The supply wagons are down to the far left by those barrels.

They shouldn’t be hard for you to torch, especially if I distract them.

The trick will be not getting caught.” She exhaled.

“All right. Let’s go,” Jasper replied, a steeliness in his voice that felt unusual to her. He was affirmed, closed off, determined, in a way that was unlike him.

She felt the subtle pangs of guilt, knowing his behavior was characteristic of him forcing himself into something he felt conflicted about.

She’d accepted a death out here on the battlefield, a death for the State.

Not only had he hated the idea for her, but she could only imagine how he now felt about that idea for himself.

Ever since she’d spent fifty years of her life, Jasper’s charisma for their shared mission had dwindled.

He’d seemed to lose all but complete interest in the mission their group had once fought for. They’d wanted the State to mean something to the world. The State had seemed like the only force demanding that The Ocean be fought, not hidden from or worshipped.

It wasn’t perfect, but Ana was determined to chase that light with everything in her.

Of all the questions in her brain, that was the one she’d never had to answer any differently.

The others in their early friend group, Diane and Rule, had wonderful dreams of what the State could become.

When Hailey had been elected, they’d all been sent to defend the borders.

Ana hadn’t realized until then how much Jasper needed the entire group to feel connected to their mission.

Watching him now, she saw with more clarity than ever that she too had become something for him to believe in. It seemed so unfounded.

They rode deeper into the cover of the trees, scouting out a clearing and setting up camp.

Jasper dug through his things and removed a change of clothes he’d bought in town and black dye.

He unscrewed it, then worked it through his hair with the tips of his fingers.

Ana helped him to speed the process along, pouring the ink into her hands and moving it through his hair in the areas he’d missed.

He said nothing to her.

“I’m sorry,” she said after a while. “I know this isn’t what you wanted.”

Jasper didn’t speak for a long time. She didn’t try and peel through his silence. He deserved to keep whatever silence he wanted.

She capped the dye when his hair was done and set it down beside him. The woods were quiet around them. She sat down a few feet away, hesitating for a moment to look up at his face.

When she did, he was looking right at her, suffering in his eyes.

“You aren’t responsible for my choices,” he said, but she couldn’t help but feel he knew that to some extent he was lying.

Did some part of him blame her for this predicament they were in?

She pushed away the creeping doubt as she looked at the black ink on her fingers and what remained of Ares’s paint on her palm.

She tried to rub some off her fingertips, but the ink held fast and dark.

She hadn’t protected her hands like Jasper had, delaying any attempt to wash them when Jasper had worn gloves and been quick to wash.

“You’ve always lived with a conviction to protect the State.

It’s who you are,” Jasper said. “We followed you. That’s an idea that’s easy to follow, but it all has to come to an end.

The good. The bad. When it does, I’ll be there.

I’ll be there doing whatever I can to help you, even if you hate me for it. ”

Jasper’s profession lingered between them.

“I don’t deserve this,” Ana said, looking into his eyes. “We both know that. If you get out of this, I hope—” She stopped.

What did she hope? She looked down at the grass. The same thing she always had, that he’d be happy, find his place in the world.

“Lately, you’ve been so quick to just accept things the way they are,” Jasper replied and grabbed his change of clothes.

She watched him as he started to walk away, feeling she’d done rather the opposite, and knowing his accusation was specific.

“Jasper,” she said.

“It’s all right, Ana,” he said. “Some things are better left unsaid.”

He disappeared into the woods.

She leaned back against a nearby tree. She shut her eyes against the interaction, trying to reset herself. His words made her feel conflicted. This would be, by far, the worst mentality to take into a battle.

She looked around for some distraction, but luckily, Jasper returned through the trees in his change of clothes, colored like coal.

“Like a real Mystic,” she observed stiffly, and he smirked, giving a slow turn with his arms outstretched.

She rose and they stood several feet apart, observing the space between them as if in ceremony. The woods were quiet around them.

“Ana,” he said, “I have something to tell you.”

She waited, wondering briefly what Jasper possibly had to share with her now.

Evenly, he explained. “I saw you and Lethe, alone in that room when Ares left.” By the gravity of his tone, Ana could only imagine what it was he’d seen, and misinterpreted.

“It’s all right,” he interjected when she opened her mouth. “Honestly, I’m not sure how I didn’t see it sooner.”

“Jasper,” she said louder, knowing he’d misunderstood. But then again, had he really?

“It makes sense,” he said, stopping her short.

Now she listened, confused as to his direction. His abruptness startled her; she hadn’t seen this change in his feelings coming. Had she misinterpreted his conflicted demeanor after all?

“Both of us thought we could leave our identities behind us and just be Statesmen, but I’ve realized that’s not true.”

“Jasper, I’ve tried,” she said, stepping toward him.

“I know,” he replied. “Maybe you shouldn’t anymore.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you’ve spent everything trying to turn your life into something people would admire.

They do. Now, I think it’s time for you to do something for yourself.

Be yourself, even if it’s just for the months you have left.

Find out who that person is.” He stepped toward her, pulling her into his arms.

He hugged her, resting his chin on her head, and then his cheek.

“Don’t use your Atlas. Wait when you get back here,” he said. “Wait for me. Even if I’m late, you wait right here. You understand?”

“And if you’re too late?” she asked.

“You wait,” he said. “Just be sure and wait.”

She stepped away from him and searched his eyes, knowing the plan, knowing with distinct clarity the depths to which they’d solidified the details. This was one of three camps they planned to target. They had to move swiftly and precisely to have any chance of success.

He let go of her.

“Let’s go,” he said.

Both of them made their way back to the edge of the Mystic camp under a darkening sky. Ana rolled her shoulder as they crouched behind the hill over the camp. She looked over at Jasper, who was focused on the camp.

“Ready?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” They exchanged a final glance, and Jasper nodded once more before darting off to the right. Ana watched him go until she could see him no longer. She then traveled to the left.

She waited at the edge of a hill, watching the encampment carefully by the light of dusk.

Confident that Jasper was in place after several minutes, she proceeded down the hill on her own, pacing out into a clearing near the campsite.

She placed herself farther in the field.

Removing a Numbers flare from her utility belt, she aimed it up at the sky.

She pulled the trigger.

A hot red ember shot with a screech into the sky and exploded. The campsite swarmed like a beehive, warriors rushing out and searching the perimeter. Ana continued walking forward into the open field toward them.

She heard shouting in Mystic when they spotted her uniform and charged.

First, there was one. She moved quickly.

He was on the ground. Two more came at her, and then four.

When the numbers became muddled, she sprinted back into the trees.

Some followed her; others started forming a line near the trees in anticipation of a larger force.

Ana hid behind some of the trees, peeking past them in hopes of seeing smoke rising up from the camp.

Nothing.

She disarmed a Mystic soldier who moved past a nearby tree. She searched the rest of the woods, catching sight of two more as they withdrew from the forest. They shouted something in Mystic to the group waiting just beyond the tree line. Soon they’d discover there was no army lying in wait.

“Come on, Jasper,” she whispered.

The Mystics had to be getting suspicious.

She saw one of the bowmen glancing between the woods and camp. He called something, and several ran past him back toward camp.

Ana sprinted deeper into the woods to find her and Jasper’s designated meeting place.

He wasn’t there. She waited for several anxious minutes.

“Jasper,” she whispered. Then she called a bit louder, “Jasper!”

No response.