Page 14 of Love Me Forever (Highland Duo #2)

T he answer was clear, though Brianna could not bring herself to say so. She remained in silent thought, staring back at Royce.

“I will have an answer from you, Brianna,” he said without demand.

She found her voice without difficulty. “Will I have an answer from you?”

“Aye, if you are ready to hear it.”

Was she ready? Since she asked herself that question, she wondered if she was. “I need to talk of this with you before I can answer. Is that all right with you?”

“Of course, I do not expect you to hurry into something so very important if you are hesitant about it. Talk with me, talk with yourself, and when you feel comfortable enough to answer, then answer me.”

“Can we talk now?”

“I would like that.”

She gave his hard chest a slight shove. “I cannot think clearly with you so close.”

He accommodated her. He sat back, resting his hands in his lap. “Enough distance?”

“I do not want you far away from me.” Her words gave her pause to think, for she did not wish him a distance from her. She wished him close.

“I will never be far away from you, Brianna. I will always be close by in body, mind, and spirit.”

His words brought joy to her heart and a smile to her face. “Then I will never feel alone.”

“Nay, for I will always be with you.”

She asked a question that would challenge them both and could put a distance between them. “Do you wish to know love?”

“Does not everyone?”

“Aye, I suppose, but I wonder if I or

anyone else really truly knows what love is, and if we do not know it, how then can we find it or know that we have found it?”

He gave her question thought before answering.

“I do not think that we need to find love. I think that love is part of each one of us, and that when we learn to share that love with a special person, then we truly know love. Until then we take chances, possibly make mistakes, and learn more and more about love.”

“So then you think that mistakes help us to discover love?”

He nodded. “As strange as it may sound, I do. You have known the strong love of family. If you had not known that love, you would never have recognized the cruelty and selfishness of your husband. You would have believed him to love you.”

“But I thought I loved him.”

“You did love him; that is what makes what he did to you so much more difficult to accept. You understand the goodness of love, your husband never did. You cannot be sorry that you loved him, and you should be grateful that you understood enough about love to let go and suffer no blame for it.”

“If you have not known love, how can you understand so much about it?” she asked.

“I knew the love of a caring and wise grandmother. She taught me skills of the mind and heart, and it is because of her that I have waited to know the love of a special woman. Tell me, though, Brianna, you talk of love; what of intimacy?”

“They are one to me.”

“Then what you are telling me is that you cannot share intimacy without love.”

She gave a hefty sigh, as though giving heavy thought to his remark. And since there was no avoiding a response, she intended to choose her words wisely. “I have shared intimacy without love and it repulsed me. I could not do that again. So, aye, I cannot share intimacy without love.”

Royce charged forward like a warrior into battle. “Then do you question if you love me or if I love you?”

She challenged him without a sword or shield, her weapon his and her heart.

“Both. We know each other a mere three weeks and we speak of love. Is it love or our forced confinement, or your tender care of me? Do I feel obligated to you? Do you want me because there is no other here? My heart and mind war with questions.”

“And you fear making another mistake.”

“Aye, I do and because of that I must have answers that satisfy me before I make a choice.”

“Are you asking me if I love you?”

“Have you asked yourself if you love me or if you feel as you do because I am here when no other woman is?”

“What you are asking is if it is love or lust that I feel.”

“I ask the same of myself. Do I love you or do I need you? Is it that I see in you what I wished in a husband, a caring man? Or is it my dreams and wishes that fill my head with these feelings? I need to know this before I go further than a kiss.”

“You have uncommon strength for a woman. Most women would not give it the thought that you do.”

“I know the consequences of not clearly looking before I leap.”

“Are you suggesting that I look clearly before I leap into something?—”

“—you may regret,” she finished. “We know little of each other.”

“Untrue, I know much about you.” He continued before she could protest. “I know how you feel about love, men, family, and children. I know you are strong and endure pain with courage. I know you are not demanding when someone tends to your care. I know you have a generous heart, for you concern yourself with a stranger and his wounds. I know you are beautiful and that your skin is soft and wonderful to touch. And I know how very much I enjoy kissing you.”

“I have opened myself to you more than I realized.”

“Does it frighten you to think that I should know you so well?”

She nodded. “It leaves me vulnerable.”

“You are only vulnerable if you allow yourself to be so.

“I was helpless and vulnerable when you found me.”

‘True,” he said, “but you made your strength known and fought through the pain with courage. You protected yourself through mind and spirit. You were not as vulnerable as you thought.”

“You were a gentleman. I was lucky you found me. Someone of less dubious character could have come upon me. Then what of my fate?”

He smiled. “Somehow I think you would have survived no matter the circumstances.”

“You have much faith in my strength.”

“You have not enough, and that makes me understand you more than you understand yourself.”

She laughed. “I do so enjoy talking with you.”

“There, you know something about me.”

“I think I know some things about you. You are kind and caring, strong and brave. You have a loving heart that you keep closely guarded, and you dearly loved your grandmother.”

“You do know me,” he insisted.

“I know not of the battle that left you so badly scarred.”

He grew silent, his dark eyes staring at her but not seeing her. When he responded, it was blunt. “I do not wish to speak of it.”

She simply nodded.

“There is much for us to think on.”

“I agree, but” —she grinned like a child not sure she should ask a question— “will you still kiss me?”

His grin was as childish as hers. “I was hoping you would want me to.”

“I do,” she said with excitement.

“Now?”

“Aye. Now would be good,” she said, a brief nod confirming her own words.

He wasted not a moment. He brought his lips to hers with haste, too hasty for a wounded lip. He yelped and drew quickly away from her, his hand hurrying to his lip.

“You have hurt yourself,” she said, her hand rushing to his.

“I am fine,” he stubbornly insisted, though he felt the blood begin to drip on his hand.

“Let me see.” She was as adamant as he was stubborn. She tugged at his hand. “Let me see.” She was no match for his strength; try as she might, she could not move his hand.

He attempted to move away from her, not wanting her to see the blood, but he was not quick enough. His blood slipped between his fingers to slowly run down his hand.

“You are bleeding!” Brianna cried out as though he suffered a fate worse than death. She shoved the blankets away from her and scrambled to climb out of bed.

“Stay where you are,” he ordered firmly.

“I certainly will not. You need help.” She tried to climb over him.

He stopped her, his strong arm going around her waist. “Stay put.”

His words were mumbled, and she looked at him with alarm. The blood was running rapidly down his hand, and soon he would have trouble containing it.

“Please.” She sounded as if she begged. “Please let me help you.”

He thought to deny her, but her eyes pleaded with him and he could not help but surrender. “I will gather what is necessary for you to tend me.”

“Nay,” she said anxiously, “you will sit and I will gather what I need.”

He was about to object, but she shook her head and a finger at him.

“You will not move. I will see to this. Now release me before you bleed to death.”

He wanted to smile but knew that was not wise. He released her with an order, and though his words sounded mumbled from his hand covering his mouth, they were clear enough. “Any pain and you return to bed.”

She nodded and slipped out of bed, his arm finally leaving her waist completely when she was steady on her feet. She felt a slight discomfort in her lower back, but she thought it more from being abed so much. It felt wonderful to move about, though she took ease with her steps.

He directed her to the clean cloths, and she managed without difficulty to scoop warm water from the pot near the flames into a bowl. She found her pouch of herbs and crushed a few in a small bowl.

Royce stood, intending to help her move the bowls to the small chest beside the bed. She would not have it.

“Stay where you are. I can manage.”

His dark green eyes questioned her, and she understood what he wished to hear. “I have no pain.”

“None?” he mumbled, then winced; his lip was beginning to throb.

She was honest. “I feel a small discomfort due probably to my lack of movement, which I intend to rectify beginning now.”

She had all the items she needed moved to the chest in a moment’s time, and without hesitation she proceeded to tend to his lip.

She stood in front of him and eased his hand away from his mouth.

The blood was smeared all around his mouth and covered his chin.

She thought it probably looked worse than it actually was and went to work cleaning him off.

She immediately determined the problem. “The wound is deep and must heal within before it can properly heal on the outside. I am going to bathe the wound with the herbs that I crushed. It will lessen the soreness. Tomorrow I will make a poultice that I will place on your lip at night before you go to sleep. It will help it to heal more quickly.”

He made to respond and she stopped him.

“You must limit your talk at least for the remainder of this day and?—”

His eyes widened, for he knew what she was about to say.

“There will be no kissing until this lip heals.” She looked directly into his dark eyes. “And do not think that it does not upset me to say that.”

He looked about to smile.

“There will be no smiling, either.”

She seemed to be able to converse with him by looking into his eyes. Somehow she understood what he was not able to speak.

“Aye, I am the one who gives the orders now, and I expect to be obeyed.” She had to smile. She knew it was not fair to him, but the urge was too strong to ignore.

She was amazed to see that his eyes appeared to smile at her, and she proceeded with her task, working like a diligent healer. She did not realize that as she worked, she paused on occasion to rub her lower back and stretch to ease her discomfort.

Royce noticed her actions and paid close heed to them.

He hoped she would be done soon, for he was not going to allow her to stand much longer.

She did appear happy to be out of bed and on her feet, which he had allowed her to do, though he had made her sit in the chair by the fire.

Perhaps it was time for her to walk about more and strengthen her back.

She rubbed her lower back again, but this time it was with a slight sigh that she did not even notice.

“Back to bed,” he ordered when she turned to drop the cloth in the bowl of water.

“I am fine and I have yet to finish tending you. Your hand needs cleaning and you should not be talking. The bleeding has finally stopped?—”

“Back to bed,” he said before she could finish.

She was about to argue when she realized that it would do her no good and that he would be the one to suffer. He would continue talking and cause his lip to bleed again.

“You are stubborn.”

“We are alike.”

“Let me at least clean your hand,” she said, “and then I will return to bed.” He could clean his own hand, but he saw that she wished to complete her task. It was important to her, and he did not wish to deprive her of the satisfaction. He held his bloody hand out to her.

“I need clean water.”

He raised a brow.

“I really am fine,” she assured him. “It feels so very good to walk about.”

He nodded with reluctance, and to his surprise she gently kissed his cheek.

“This is good for me. I need to be out of bed.”

He actually wanted her in bed, but that would have to wait. Not that he needed a healed lip to make love to her, but she needed to know for certain that she wanted him. He would not have her otherwise; for once he did he did not intend to let her go.

She dumped the dirty water in a bucket by the door for Royce to discard later, and then scooped clean warm water into the bowl and grabbed a clean cloth before returning to him.

He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the pleasure she brought him as she gently wiped at the dried blood with the warm cloth. How cleaning his hand could feel sensual he did not know, but his body was certainly responding.

When he opened his eyes, he watched her movements. She made soft long strokes with the cloth over his fingers, and then when all the blood was gone, she rinsed the cloth, turned his hand over, and went to work on his palm.

He wondered how he would keep his sanity. Her touch was light and she rubbed in a circular motion, round and round and round; up his fingers and back again to go round and round and round.

Damned if he was not growing hard, and damn her for moving her body closer to his and leaning against him.

He thought her sigh was caused by the discomfort in her back, but there was a second and then a third, and by the fourth he understood that she was feeling the effects of her touch on him as strongly as he was.

He took the cloth from her hand and she surrendered it without protest. He dropped it to the ground and slipped his arms around her waist, drawing her in between his legs.

“I—” She could not seem to find words to express her feelings. So she did what she most wanted to do. She began to kiss his face.