Page 9 of Love is Fake (Love is Everything #1)

Chapter

Three

I’m on auto-pilot as I slide my legs out of bed, cursing as something heavy lands on my big toe.

“Mother-Freakin – !” I grumble, rubbing my toe as I pick the offending binder off the floor. I’d fallen asleep reading through Lennox’s medical history, which was really a tragedy centered around his injured knee.

He’s already been through surgery to fix a ruptured ACL and he’smanaged to come back from that only missing half the season.

That’s impressive, bearing in mind that a lot of athletes are never able to play professionally again after such an injury.

But Lennox’s knee has never been the same and he’s suffered minor injury after minor injury.

A whole bunch of small harms that culminated into this latest monstrosity.

My eye focuses on the post-it I stuck to the front of the binder, reminding me to watch the video of the match.

Seeing the accident in real time gives me more information on the trauma of the injury.

Also, I’m more than a little curious to see how he managed to finish the damn game without being stretchered off.

Either he was so high on adrenaline he didn’t feel the pain or he’s the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. After our conversations last night, I’m willing to bet it’s a combination of the two, with a healthy dose of the latter.

I zone out watching the coffee machine do its thing, falling half-asleep again on my feet. I’m so out of it that I don’t even hear my front door open.

“So you are alive then. Good to know I don’t have to kill anyone.” Kiara sets her keys to my place down on the kitchen counter along with a bag from my favorite bakery and leans against the refrigerator, arms crossed.

I blink at my best friend, a vision of bright orange in my tiny kitchen.

As usual, she’s perfectly-put together, in a killer outfit complete with stiletto heels, golden eye make-up accentuating her dark skin and her jet-black hair in braids.

She looks like she’s ready to take over the whole damn world.

It makes me acutely aware of the ratty tee I sleep in, which declares me a ‘Structural Mobility Superhero’.

If I were any cooler, my apartment wouldn’t need air conditioning.

“You’re an angel.” I open the bag, inhaling the smell of fresh-baked croissants and devour one in about two bites.

I didn’t realize how hungry I was, but between the events of last night and the sadness of my refrigerator, I didn’t eat much yesterday. I didn’t even have time to make a dent in the PhD work I was already lagging behind on.

Tonight – I promise to myself, tonight I’ll get it done, even if it means getting even less sleep than I have been. I grimace a little at the thought of that, but truth be told, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve pulled all-nighters to do what needed to be done.

“I appreciate that even though you thought I was dead, you still brought baked goods.” I wave my second croissant at Kiara, but she doesn’t crack a smile. Instead, she just keeps on giving me that pissed off look, which has sent lesser men running for their mommas.

“It’s 6 in the morning, Ki. Don’t you ever sleep?” I grumble the question at her, automatically getting another mug out of the cupboard and filling both with coffee - hers with cream and sugar, mine black like my soul.

“Of course I sleep.” Kiara inhales the smell of the fancy Colombian coffee I’ve been buying since I deposited my first paycheck.

It’s my one splurge. “I just don’t need as much of it as some people.

” She gives me a pointed look, which I ignore.

I’m too busy rubbing the fatigue out of my eyes anyway as I inhale my first cup of coffee and quickly pour myself a second one.

“That stuff’s going to give you a heart attack one day, you know?” Kiara watches as my second cup goes the way of the first. I start to feel vaguely like myself again by the time I start my third.

I don’t respond immediately, knowing she’ll follow me the few steps to my bedroom as I get my day started.

“Statistically, that’s not accurate,” I remind her. “But I’m guessing you’re not here at this ungodly time of the morning because you’re worried about my blood pressure?”

Kiara gives me a nonplussed look. “I was worried about you . You never called me back after your meeting with Lennox Gray and whenever I tried to get hold of you, I got bounced to voicemail. I thought something happened. And then this morning I get an email from the rental place saying your car hadn’t been returned… ”

Kiara doesn’t look at me. Instead, she’s inspecting the limited clothes in my wardrobe, but her tone tells me just how concerned she was.

It might seem like overkill from anyone who hasn’t lost someone, but I know Ki’s back-story.

I know what happened to her sister and how it made her prone to think the worst was always about to happen.

“I’m sorry, Ki.” I lay my hand gently on her shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. “My dad called as I was leaving the Gray mansion and then by the time we finished talking I figured it was too late to call you back.”

Kiara makes an unimpressed sound and I’m not sure if it’s about my excuse or my wardrobe.

“And how did things go with Gray? And is he as gorgeous in real life as he is in his photos?” She throws me a sly sidelong look and I immediately know I’m forgiven.

I sigh, thinking about the man I’m only a short time away from seeing again. “More, if anything he’s better looking in person, which just proves my theory that the universe is a she and she’s kind of a bitch.”

Kiara laughs and her shoulders finally relax some of the tension they’ve been carrying since she arrived.

“Look, I’ve got to be on the road in a half hour and there’s no way I can be late meeting him again, so can we talk while I’m getting ready?”

I slip into the bathroom, turning the shower as cold as I can stand it before taking a deep breath and jumping in.

It’s the final step in the wake-up routine I perfected in college.

Back then, there was hardly enough hours between classes, work, studying and trying to have some kind of a social life.

I squeak as the cold water hits my chest and scrub my body as hard and fast as I can before hopping out.

Kiara gives a dramatic shiver as she hands me a towel. “I still don’t get how you stand doing that every day.”

“That’s funny coming from someone who runs almost every morning. I don’t get that .” I copy her shiver and she throws a hand-towel at my face.

“One day I’ll get you in some running shoes.” It’s a promise, wrapped in the tone of a threat.

“Thanks, but I’m good with the pool,” I remind her.

And it’s true. Vertically, I might be challenged.

Horizontally and with the water carrying my weight, there’s not much that can go wrong.

Plus, my swims are pretty much the only time in my day when all the outside noise is – quite literally – drowned out.

It’s the only kind of meditation I’ve ever had the patience for; focusing on my strokes and my breathing.

“If you’re going back to The Hamptons today, then I’m guessing the meet went well?” Kiara searches my reflection in the mirror as I hurriedly moisturize my face and swipe some mascara onto my lashes.

“Aside from getting into a car accident with the client before officially meeting him, it all went fine.” I smile at the horror in Kiara’s dark eyes as they almost bug out of her head.

“Please tell me this story doesn’t end with you killing Lennox Freakin’ Gray.” She closes her eyes, her hands in the prayer position and I shove her with my shoulder.

“If that had happened, you definitely would’ve heard about it by now. You’d be my first call to dispose of the body.”

Kiara finally opens her eyes, shaking her head at me in mock-despair. “So after that stellar first impression, then what happened?”

I flit around the bedroom, putting on the clothes Kiara hands me as I tell her an edited version of the story of my day.

I negate the part about just how pissed Lennox was about me being Michael’s replacement, knowing it’d only cause her to worry.

She listens silently, indicating with a shake of her head that I should wear the yoga pants she’s selected and not the comfy scrubs I picked out for myself.

“If everything’s fine. What’s got you so nervous? You’re not crushing on your client, are you?”

I laugh as if that were the craziest idea in the world. “Sure, because what right-minded, self-respecting woman wouldn’t fall for a guy who hasn’t been anything but a smug asshole towards her?”

Kiara doesn’t even blink at my evasion, waiting for me to convince her.

“He’s a big deal,” I tell her, shoving the binder I only got half-way through before I fell asleep into my bag. “I don’t want to screw this up.”

The explanation is close enough to the whole truth to satisfy her.

Kiara’s expression softens as she takes me by the hand and steers me toward the wardrobe mirror, putting her hands on my shoulders and standing behind me as I look at our reflections.

We couldn’t look any more different from each other and yet she’s most definitely the sister I never had.

“You’ve got this, Iz.” She says the words slowly and I nod at her in confusion.

“I know. I know. It’ll be fine.” I try to add enough conviction to my words, but Kiara senses my doubt like a bloodhound.

“Don’t tell me ,” she says, shaking her head. “Tell her.” She points at my reflection in the mirror and I roll my eyes.

“Come on, Ki. I’m going to be late.” I move to turn, but she holds me firmly and I know I’m not going to be able to get out of this no matter how uncomfortable it makes me.

“Why are you so weird about looking at yourself in the mirror? You’re gorgeous with that whole ‘pale and interesting’ Irish rose thing going on, so it can’t be the way you look. So, what gives?”

It’s not the first time Kiara’s asked me that question and it’s not the first time I’ve dodged it like a damn bullet.

I sigh heavily. “If I do this, will you stop digging your talons into me?”

Her expression softens and with it, I feel pieces of my heart chipping away. She motions for me to go ahead.

I can’t fight the sadness that stirs in my gut when I stare at my reflection.

It’s weird to see the mother who left you staring back.

My dad once told me that she and I could be twins, except my eyes are green where hers were blue.

It’s been a while since he’s said those words to me, and yet they still linger, clawing at the most tender parts of my heart.

I don’t exactly remember what she looks like.

In fact, I don’t remember anything about her at all.

The one photograph I have of her, she’s looking over her shoulder as she walks away, like she was already half-way out of the door, even then.

But even though her face is barely visible there, I see myself.

The rose-colored blush on snow white cheeks, the softness of her jaw and of mine.

Whenever I look into the mirror, I see the her in me and…

“Any time now, Iz. It’s not like you’ve got somewhere to be or anything.” Kiara manages to inject a healthy eye roll into her voice and the threat of being late again is enough to spur me into action.

This time, I pull my shoulders back and do as my friend has instructed.

I look into my own green eyes, ignoring all the negative self-talk that tries to derail me.

Instead, I remember the girl I was when I first met Lennox - the shy, awkward, clumsy, sad, fearful teenager who wanted to disappear and I think about how far I’ve come in the intervening years.

I may still be clumsy, and sadness might shadow me more often than I’d like to admit, but I’ve grown up and I’ve grown stronger.

And although my confidence may fail me now and again, I don’t feel so lost, so fragile, anymore.

I’ve learned that I can cope with more or less whatever life throws at me and Lennox Gray is no exception.

“You’ve got this,” I tell the woman in the mirror and – this time – I sound like I might actually be starting to believe it.

“Feel better?” Kiara relaxes her death-grip on my shoulders as I turn around to face her.

“Much,” I reply, only a little sarcastic.

“See, I’m always right!” Kiara smirks and I roll my eyes at her. “Now, get on the road before you blow it – being late once is cute, twice just looks unprofessional.”

“Thanks for the pep talk, Ki.” I shake my head at her and laugh, hurrying towards the door.

“And, Izzy,” I turn at the serious note in my friend’s voice, “be careful around him. Keep your distance.”

The warning surprises me, although I’d be lying if I said it was unwarranted. There’s something about Lennox that hints at danger, at an adrenaline rush waiting to happen. An adrenaline rush waiting to end in disaster.

“I’m careful with all my clients, Ki, you know that.

And keeping distance is a little hard when my job is pretty hands-on!

” I purposely misunderstand her – we both know she’s not talking about physical distance, she’s talking about how I invest in people, how I lead with my emotions right out of the gate.

And something about what I’ve told her about Lennox has her spidey senses tingling about me putting myself out there.

Kiara gives me one last searching look before smiling. It’s a genuine smile that causes the tension between my shoulders to ease…just a little.

“I know you know what you’re doing. Drive safe, Iz. I’ll lock up when I leave.”

I wave to her from the door before speeding out of the house and down to the garage where Lennox’s truck is waiting for me.

As I lever myself into the raised seat, I get a flashback of Lennox’s hands around my waist, his palm slightly grazing the bare skin of my belly.

I tramp down on the memory, focusing on Kiara’s parting words of advice.

Be careful around him.

And that’s just what I intend to be, because Lennox Gray isn’t someone I can or should ever let my guard down around.