Page 18 of Love Bleeds

"I'm fine," I insisted before he could even say anything as he opened the door and peeked into the room.

"Just wanted to ask if you had any dinner preferences," he lied. And then he stepped into the room and closed the door behind himself.

"Where's your boyfriend really?" I asked, if only to change the topic.

"Meeting with Aldrich."

"Why didn't you just tell me that?"

Collin sat on the edge of my bed. "I don't know. It just came out that way. I got the feeling you don't like Aldrich very much."

"I don't like any vampires. How do we know we can trust Aldrich? It's like you totally forgot that he kidnapped you."

"He didn't do that because he wanted to. Besides, we need all the help we can get."

Something else I didn't like to be reminded of. Maybe Collin had been right not to tell me what his boyfriend was up to. I sighed. Because Elena had been right too. I couldn't run from this forever.

Collin rested a hand on my back. "You're allowed to take some time to wrap your head around this. Don't let Elle pressure you into anything, okay?"

I shook my head, because as much as I hated getting involved in all of this, I hated being left out even more. "If all of you can deal with this, so can I."

My brother hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Okay. I'll fill you in tomorrow."

"Thank you. It's been a long day." I wasn't sure why I mentioned that, except... Collin was gay. If I could talk to anyone about what wasreallyon my mind, it would be him, right?

"Rest up, little brother." Collin ruffled a hand through my hair. When he made to stand, I stopped him by grabbing his arm. He shot me a questioning look.

"Did you ever... Um... I mean..." I paused to gather my thoughts and start again. "Did you ever get the feeling that Damian might be playing for your team?" I finally got out in a rush.

"Damian?" Collin stared at me. I wasn't sure if that was due to the fact that I tended to avoid talking about Damian these days, or because of the question itself.

"It's just... Savannah said something today that made me wonder."

Thought lines wrinkled Collin's forehead. At least he seemed to be taking my question seriously. "I don't know," he said after a moment. "I don't have a perfect gaydar. He never really struck me that way, to be honest, but we're not all the same, so what do I know?" He shrugged. "Sadly, not every gay man is as fabulous as me."

"No, definitely not," I agreed. Even just the thought of Damian with glitter in his hair... Nope, that wasn't working. Damian would tell me I was being an idiot for even entertaining that thought. A smile formed on my lips before my conscious mind could stop it from forming.

"Does it matter if Damian was gay or not?" Collin asked.

Did it? "Savannah said he was bi and that he... that helikedme."

"I see." Collin moved his hand in a circle over my back as if to soothe me. "Now you're wondering if there's a chance Savannah was right?"

I nodded.

My brother thought for a second. "I can't tell you if your friend was bisexual or not, but I can tell you that he loved you. Does it really matter if that love had sexual connotations or not?"

I tried to speak, but couldn't get a word out. My throat was suddenly too tight. Collin was right, it didn't matter. Love came in many forms, didn't it?

I certainly loved Damian with all my heart, even if I'd never once thought of having sex with him.

The space behind my eyes burned. I had to close them.

Collin rubbed my back again. But I wasn't going to cry. I was not.

I took a shuddery breath, and then I straightened.

"Thank you," I said, the words feeling weird on my tongue, like they really wanted to be something else--like a sob, maybe.