Page 41 of Love At the Gates of Hell (The Seven Sinners Trilogy #1)

twenty-six

Benny

It was just after three o’clock in the morning when Benny found herself wide awake and tucked beneath Gideon’s heavy arm, his body strewn across hers, his breath soft and steady against her skin.

She was on her side, back pressed against his front, and the weight of him felt good.

So good that she almost tried to will herself back to sleep.

But the urge to pee was stronger, and so she shifted very carefully out from his grasp and slid from underneath the covers.

She was still naked, and a shiver worked its way through her body as she crossed the bedroom.

She grabbed an old T-shirt from her dresser before moving into the bathroom, her skin flushing as she saw the piles of their clothing littered across the floor, the shower door still open.

Her eyes widened as she saw her reflection in the mirror.

Her hair was out of control, her curls a maddening mixture of flat and voluminous and sticking up in ways she wasn’t sure were possible.

She tried to smooth it out, brushing her fingers through it, grimacing in the mirror.

Well. These were the risks that came with frantic post-shower sex.

A thought that brought a funny smile to her face.

She’d never really been with anyone who put her pleasure first.

It was an intoxicating kind of discovery.

And although she was still trying to wrap her head around everything that had happened in the last few weeks, Benny knew that the feelings she had developed for Gideon Crawford were real.

The kind of ache she could feel in her bones.

She had held onto them until she couldn’t anymore.

She saw who Gideon wanted to be for her. She could love him, she thought.

She could fall right in love with him.

Benny knew deep down that she was the reason her previous relationships never had much depth. Falling in love had never suited her when she knew she was living on borrowed time. She had always been too afraid to hand herself over to someone.

But Gideon felt different.

She wanted him to be different.

Benny wasn’t sure she was going to make it, so why couldn’t she just have this one good thing?

She winced at the sound of the toilet flushing, then tiptoed back into her bedroom, wiping wet hands on her T-shirt before climbing back into the bed.

Gideon pressed a light kiss to her forehead before wrapping his arm around her, scooping her back up against him.

She could feel the easy strength in his grasp despite just how gentle he was being with her.

There was something about knowing both versions of him that made her wriggle that much closer to him.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You can wake me up any time,” he murmured into her hair, voice rough with sleep. The hum of it brought a tingle to her skin. “You alright?”

She sighed, her eyes blinking shut.

“Yeah, I am,” she replied. She shifted onto her back. “Which is freaking me out. I shouldn’t be, right?”

Gideon pushed himself up onto his elbow. It was dark in the room but her eyes had adjusted, and glimmers of moonlight peeked through the edges of her curtains, allowing her to see the traces of sleep on his face. His soft eyes, and how a flicker of concern passed through them.

“That depends,” he said. “Is this freak out about the murder or the sex?”

“Jesus,” she groaned. “ Murder ?”

“Oh, good,” he said, relieved. “I was hoping it wasn’t the sex.”

Benny rolled her eyes, “Gideon.”

He snuck a small kiss to her nose before he brushed her hair back. “I know this is hard,” he said. “This felt different than the docks, didn’t it?”

Her nose wrinkled. “I didn’t fuck that vampire on the docks.”

Gideon twisted his head to the side.

“Sorry,” she grimaced. “It’s just—”

“It’s fine,” he said, waving his hand. “The visual was fleeting. But I get it.”

“Does it get easier?”

“No. But it shouldn’t. If it starts getting easier, you’re venturing into serial killer territory.”

“Oh, sure, yeah,” Benny replied.

“We are constantly weighing the cost, princess and your life has to rank at the top. Someone tries to hurt you, some thing comes after you— there can’t be any other outcome than you walking out that door with your life.”

“It wasn’t about me,” she said quietly.

He considered her, his features softening.

“Well I’m not gonna complain.”

“Should I have told you about him?”

“You don’t owe me that,” he said. “We’ve been going a hundred miles per hour the last couple of weeks. We get through this ritual, we’ll have all the time in the world to go through our shitty exes.”

Benny propped herself up on her elbows.

“How many shitty exes?” she asked.

A smile stretched across his face as he gently nudged her back down.

“Not that many,” he assured. “And they were all human as far as I’m aware.”

“Boring,” she said, matching his smile. That word triggered something. “Wait, where is your brother?”

Gideon’s chuckle was low and quiet and she felt it more than heard it.

“He was passed out on the couch when I came upstairs,” he said. “But he’s been running on fumes for a while.”

“Since me?”

He brushed his fingers through her hair, and she briefly wondered just how stupid it still looked until his thumb grazed against her skin, distracting her from the thought completely.

“This shit is like catnip to him. Luke has always been curious by nature. But since he’s turned…” he trailed off, brow furrowing slightly. “Finding out there’s been a whole world out there we didn’t know about—I think he’s trying to catch up or something.”

Benny wasn’t sure she could remember the first time she heard of the Crawford brothers.

The infamous bank robbers were sort of always on the board in the Caruso family.

Part of an underground who’s who. They had a reputation for intricate heists that left the police deeply confused, which made them hard to track and valuable.

But she had heard something from her father—about a shootout in Chicago that resulted in one of the brothers turning.

And how surprised he’d been when he learned they were still working together. Human and vampire.

“Was the transition hard?” she asked.

Gideon didn’t answer, his eyes blinking shut for a moment.

“It was the scariest fucking thing I’d ever experienced,” he said, finally.

“I didn’t understand what was happening until it was too late.

The job had seemed routine. It passed all our usual sniff tests, you know?

I still don’t know what it was that made Luke the target.

Things between us got bad for a while after that. I lost him for a little bit.”

He started to play with her hair again, fingers brushing against her scalp. Like it soothed him to touch her while he spoke. Benny curled up closer against him.

“But he’s all I’ve got,” he continued, voice quiet. “It’s always just been us. Even when our dad was alive, he was always on a job. And our mom dipped out when Luke was six. So when he turned, I just had to figure out how to deal with it.”

He let out a breath.

“It still kills me a little bit when his face changes.”

Benny frowned.

“How old were you?” she asked.

He looked at her, a confused flicker behind his eyes.

“When your mother left,” she clarified. “Luke was six. How old were you?”

“I had just turned ten.”

“Gideon.” Benny sighed, her hand reaching up to cup his face. “You were just a little kid. You shouldn’t have had to take on a responsibility like that.”

“My dad wasn’t exactly a guy who could make his own hours,” he replied. “But he provided for us. I just did what I could to handle the rest.”

“In the fifth grade.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” he told her, inching his head toward her as his lips brushed against her nose. “We managed, and when we couldn’t, we figured it out.”

She tried to visualize a ten-year-old Gideon Crawford.

She wondered if he still had the same sardonic smile when he was feeling particularly proud of himself or the same wrinkled brow when he was unsure, if his hair still had the same cowlick at the back of his head.

If all those years ago, he had completely different aspirations for what his life would have been.

Or if it would somehow have always been this.

And she felt the ache of it all the same.

“Well, it’s not just the two of you anymore,” she said.

His brow knit as he considered her.

“You’ve got Cleo and Harker,” she told him before she pressed her lips to his. She let her mouth linger there for just a moment, his lips so soft and full against hers, as she drummed up her courage. “And me. You’ve got me, Gideon. If you want.”

He smiled.

“I do,” he said, his hand smoothing at her hip. “I want you in every way.”

“I wish you would have told me.”

“There were more pressing matters to attend to,” Gideon said, fixing her with a roguish grin.

They were still in bed, the hazy morning light drifting in through the curtains.

Benny was resting on her heels beside him, her hand pressed against a nasty bruise that had formed overnight on his shoulder.

Right where Christian had slammed into him as they were rolling around on the floor of the warehouse.

He lay on his back, one arm tucked behind his head, his hair mussed from sleep and his gaze predatory as she let her magic do its work.

The sheet was barely covering his hips, his naked body beside her a tempting distraction as she tried to focus.

“Is that right?” She bit back the smile that threatened to overtake her face, her skin warm with the memories of last night, and earlier that morning… “Are there any other bumps and bruises you’re hiding from me, Crawford?”

“I got slammed into concrete by a ten foot tall demon,” he said. “I think my whole body is one giant bruise.”

She frowned as her magic cooled, the bruise beginning to dissipate under her touch. She had been so scared, the thought of anything happening to him almost too much to bear—

“No, hey,” he said, pushing himself up to sit. He reached for her, his hand curving at her jaw. “I’m good, princess. Still standing and everything.”

Benny leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

“It’s amazing what you can do,” he told her. “Thank you.”

“Well I’d genuinely appreciate it if you stopped throwing yourself into fights with the super strong demonic beings we’ve been encountering,” she said.

“Not sure I can promise that considering our circumstances. But I’ll do my best.”

She laughed, “No, you won’t. I think you like seeing if you can knock ‘em around.”

The grin that stretched across Gideon’s face was almost boyish, his eyes crinkling, the hazel looking particularly green in the bright, natural light.

“It ain’t bad for the ego, I’ll say that.”

Her smile turned into a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head, the old T-shirt she’d grabbed ridding up on her waist. She could crawl right back under the covers and sleep another eight hours.

Benny had half a mind to make that exact suggestion when Gideon grabbed her and pulled her back down to lay beside him, his legs tangling with hers.

“We should probably get out of this bed,” he said, his nose nuzzling against her neck.

She tilted her head back, his mouth warm and soft against her skin, her fingers teasing light strokes down his arm. “Is that what you really want to do?”

“No, baby,” he said, the timber of his voice deep enough to make her squirm against him. He hooked his hand underneath her knee, draping her leg over his. “What I want is to stay here in this bed with you and learn every place you like to be touched.”

She dug her fingernails into his bicep as his hand dragged up her thigh.

“You’ve gotten quite a few of them,” she said, her breath catching as he squeezed her hip.

“I want them all, Benny,” he said, his mouth finding hers again with a rough kiss. “But we’ve got work to do today. And as much as I’ve grown to love this room, I’d much rather have you back in my own bed at home.”

“Oh, that does sound appealing,” she said, though that didn’t stop her from pressing herself against him, feeling him hard against her. “Does this mean you’re moving back into your room?”

“If you’ll have me.”

She licked at her lips as she found his gaze, those hazel-green eyes soft and warm.

“It’s about damn time.”

He barked out a laugh as he rolled her onto her back and the weight of his body felt delicious against her own.

She drew her legs up to his hips, a defiant look on her face as she reached between their bodies, her hand wrapping around the length of him.

She relished in the soft moan that passed through his lips as she began to stroke him.

“Benny, baby, you’re killing me,” he groaned, his hips twitching.

“I can play a dirty game, Crawford,” she said, her hand warming with her magic. He buried his face in her neck, another soft sound muffled against her skin. “And it’s only fair, I’ve got a little catching up to do after last night—”

“That’s not how this works,” he said. “You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” she said, voice soft.

She’d played with magic in the bedroom before, especially with other witches, but this was different.

The way her power flowed through her, it felt like she was giving a part of herself to Gideon, letting him feel her in ways she’d never experienced with anyone else before.

It was a pleasure akin to rapture, and she wanted nothing more than to share that with him.

Feeling him come undone in her hands was a gift.

“ Baby ,” the word a moan as it slipped from his lips, his hips bucking against her hand and she let the energy flow, working his cock over with her magic until he spilled out of her hand and onto her belly. “Fuck, Benny—”

He sank against her and she wrapped her arms around his broad back, fingers brushing through the hair at the nape of his neck.

She felt a satisfaction ripple through her, and she pressed a kiss to his temple.

She wanted to stay here, just like this, keep them out of the outside fray as long as possible.

“That was,” but Gideon couldn’t seem to formulate anything more than a lopsided grin as he turned his head to catch her gaze. “Jesus, Benny.”

She smiled.

“Should we shower again?”