Page 20 of Love At the Gates of Hell (The Seven Sinners Trilogy #1)

“This isn’t really…” He trailed off with a sigh, shifting his body almost further into her touch as her magic continued to spread throughout the wound.

She found she didn’t mind it. Being this close to him.

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here.

This supernatural shit is not where I excel.

I don’t like feeling one step behind. And from the moment we found you, I’ve been scrambling to try and keep up. ”

He shook his head, his free hand raking through his already sleep-mussed hair.

She was hit with a sudden instinct to brush her fingers through it.

“When Luke and I work, I’m the one who takes the lead.

That responsibility, making sure things go smoothly, that’s on me.

I thrive on that. It works. But I haven’t been in control since—”

There was something stopping him from finishing that statement but Benny knew.

“Me.”

The look on his face told her all she needed to know.

“I didn’t ask for this, you know.”

A week ago she was scheduling out her final fall semester, making sure she had all her advisors lined up and her thesis work in a good place, and now she wasn’t even sure she’d be given the opportunity to finish the program, something she’d spent the last four years working on.

But maybe she had been too optimistic to think she’d get this far anyway.

She’d always been living on borrowed time.

“I know,” he replied and there was a softness to his tone she didn’t realize she needed until she heard it. “But we’re not gonna get through this if we don’t figure out a way to work together. I need you to trust me, Benny.”

Not Russo. Not princess.

She liked the way her nickname sounded on his lips.

Like at the quarry when he thought she was hurt, the urgency in his voice. Right after he shot out Mack’s tires. A move that had given her the opportunity to save herself.

“I do,” she said, and she meant it. Somehow she did. “But I can’t be passive in this.”

“I know,” he breathed.

Her magic began to cool, an icy chill passing from her hand into his abdomen to soothe the muscle.

His body twitched at the change in temperature and his free hand wrapped around her wrist. Perhaps instinctively because the moment she stared down at where he held her, his grip loosened and his hand fell slack at his side.

“Just try to dial it back on the death wishes, will ya?”

But she could only nod, her eyes fixed on his hand, wondering why he’d reached for her at all and wishing she wasn’t also hoping he’d touch her like that again.

The chill of her magic turned warm and she watched as the bruising faded, the blood vessels healed, and his wound turned into clear, unblemished skin. She let out a breath, relieved to find no sign of the original mark, her fingers grazing against the smooth expanse in brief awe.

She pulled herself back, a little woozy from the magic. Or from the proximity. Both, maybe. But her hand was tingling and she rubbed at her palm as she steadied herself. She hadn’t done that in a while. Hadn’t had much reason to go around healing people pre-abduction.

“That’s it?” he asked, surprise flickering across his features.

He brushed his hand across where the bruise had been and it did something to Benny to see him touch himself. A weird little laugh passed through her lips as she brushed her hair behind her ears. She was thankful it was so dark and Gideon couldn’t see the flush likely creeping into her cheeks.

She needed to get a hold of herself.

“That’s it.”

“Thank you, Benny,” he said. “I feel good. Better.”

“I wish I could say no more vampire fights,” she told him, throwing out her hands “But—”

“I know,” he said. “Next time we’ll have a plan. No guns blazing bullshit.”

“I’m sorry I ran off.”

“Are you?” he asked and there was something playful to his tone.

She bit back a smile. “No, but I am sorry for being a distraction.”

He smiled, wide and bright, and a warmth reached his eyes. She liked seeing him like this. It made her stomach flip. Jesus Christ. They weren’t even touching anymore.

She really wanted him to touch her again.

The realization was so sudden, Benny wasn’t sure how to handle it.

“I don’t think you’re sorry about that, either, princess.”

He held her gaze for a moment before his eyes flickered to her jaw.

“Why haven’t you healed yourself?” he asked, his thumb brushing the softest stroke against her chin. “It kills me to look at it. To see everything they’ve done to you.”

Her lips parted at the touch, a faint breath passing through them. It was like he had heard her thoughts. Like she had compelled him to touch her. It felt even better than she thought it would.

“I can’t,” she said. “It’s the balance. I already cheat death healing the way I do naturally, so a Healer’s magic can’t help me. Even my own.”

“And earlier?” he asked. “That blood magic, it scared the hell out of me and it seemed to do a number on you.”

She could still taste that man’s blood on her tongue.

“It’s dark magic,” she admitted. “A Caruso family favorite during interrogations. I don’t, I mean that’s not something I just do on a random Saturday night. But I didn’t think we had any other option.”

“No, it was good,” he said, though his brow furrowed. “It helped, I mean. We at least have a starting point now.”

She ran her tongue across her bottom lip as she considered him.

“I know you think I’m reckless,” she started. “But I’m— Gideon, I’m just trying to not act as terrified as I feel. If I think about everything that’s happened for too long, I’ll lose it.”

He frowned.

“I’m not going to let anything else happen to you, Benny.”

“You can’t promise me that.”

“Watch me.”

He said it with such confidence, she almost believed him. And she could have argued with him, God knew they were good at that. But she didn’t want to, not after the last couple of days— after seeing the damage he took to keep her safe. He would try. She could feel it.

And maybe that was enough.

To have someone just try.

“ Real tough guy,” she said, letting herself smile big.

Gideon shook his head, a huff of laugher passing through his lips. “You’re a real pain in my ass, you know that?”

“That was part of the agreement, I think.”

“Oh, was that right?”

They were nearly on top of each other now, bodies all but pressing against each other. Benny wasn’t too sure of herself at 3 o’clock in the morning, of what decisions she should or should not be making. But she now knew she wanted something she was sure she probably shouldn’t have.

And Gideon—

The way he was looking at her. Like he could see all there was.

When had anyone ever looked at her that way?

It inched her closer and closer to making a very bad decision when the door to the loft opened and Luke surprised them both. She all but jumped back, her heart beating so rapidly in her chest she was sure that Luke could hear it from all the way across the room. In fact, she was certain of it.

“Shit,” Luke managed, his hands coming up to shield his face. “I didn’t think—shoot, I hope you’re both decent over there—I’m sorry, I’m just gonna keep walking like this, not looking, not thinking about it, definitely not thinking about it—”

“Lucas,” Gideon bit out.

“Nope, I’m good, brother,” he said. “See you in the morning!”

Luke’s bedroom door clicked, and Gideon let out a long breath, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You should go to bed.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, already turning back toward the bedroom, her hand running over her face. Someone needed to put her out of her misery here. “Goodnight, Gideon.”

What had she been thinking? In what world did kissing the man hired to keep you safe feel like a good decision? It was just too much time spent together. That’s all.

“Thank you, Benny,” he said. “For taking care of me.”

She felt her skin flush at the sincerity in his voice.

“Someone’s gotta make sure you don’t die from internal bleeding,” she said, twisting to throw him a playful look.

He pushed himself off of the counter, that grin splayed across his features twisting her right up inside. “Nice pajamas, by the way.”