Page 47 of Love at Full Tilt

Tess digs her hands through her hair. “Things are kind of…tough…right now.” She treads in a circle around a nearby bunch of sunspark, careful not to crush the delicate buds of light.

“My mom’s hours got reduced at work last fall, and we’ve been trying to save ever since, but I don’t know if I’m going to have enough money for college. ”

No wonder she’s been so fixated on the cost of things this week. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Money’s weird. And I feel like people don’t really understand what it’s like to not have any if you haven’t been through it.

I might have to take out loans, and it just feels like I have no idea what’s going to happen and that makes me”—she holds her hands out in front of her and shakes them—“I don’t know…

out of control. The only way I feel better is when everything else is taken care of. ”

“What about your dad?” Issy asks. “Can’t he help?”

Tess stares up at the sky, blinking rapidly.

“I asked him. I begged. He told me he paid child support and that was his only obligation.” Her hands are fists now.

The same way they’d been when she came running out the blue door of his one-story home this past winter, her face red and splotchy.

She could barely unfold her fingers to grab the steering wheel.

We’d listened to her mom’s only rock CD, some very loud band called Disturbd, the whole ride home.

Every time I tried to talk to her, she turned the radio up louder.

Issy drops her chin to her chest. “I didn’t know,” she says softly.

“I didn’t tell you.”

“You should have.”

“I know.” Tess looks at us. “I’m sorry if I’ve been unbearable.”

“I’m sorry if I’ve been frustrating,” I say. “And yell-y.”

Issy sighs. “I’m sorry I haven’t been more up-front.”

Tess narrows her eyes. “About the aromantic stuff? You have the right to tell us when you’re ready.”

Issy blows out a breath. “I know. But I wish I hadn’t waited so long.”

“We’re glad you told us now.” I give Issy a squeeze then pull Tess into us. “And you’re going to be okay.”

Tess nods confidently, though her eyes are a little glassy. “I’m going to work a ton while I’m in school and hopefully be able to pay some of the loans off right after I graduate.” Her shoulders square. I’m willing to bet there are three spreadsheets on her laptop with all this planned out.

“I’m sure my parents will give you a job in the summers if you want,” I offer. “They pay more than minimum wage.”

“Really?”

“Um, they love you. Plus they’re going to have a position to fill now that I might not be working there for long.”

I thought about it all last night. If I don’t win this contest, I’m going to come back to Orlando anyway.

I’ll need to work for my parents to build up some savings first, but then I’m going to try to get one of the paid writing internships in Fableland’s storytelling department.

And if that doesn’t work out, there’s tons of other positions in different departments.

I’ll find something. I will make my way back here.

Even if Mason and I never see each other again, even if that day at Ava’s rose was the end for us, I can’t let go of my new dream.

Now that I have Princess Caelyssa’s story in my head, it has to find its way into Fableland’s lore.

I owe it to all the people who look like me who want to find themselves in Fable Industry’s stories.

I owe it to myself.

I tell my friends all this. For once, I don’t hold it in. And all they do is smile. Like it makes the most sense in the world.

Like they’ve never expected anything else from me.

“Time to make your own magic,” Tess whispers.

I nod. That’s exactly it.

I crouch beside a particularly vivid spray of sunspark, and a second later, Tess and Issy flank me.

I run my hands gently over the threads of light that spray out of it.

They’re supple and thick, like really good leather, and even though I know they can’t be real, it’s impossible to see where the facade ends.

They give off the same soft fragrance as actual flowers, and when I release the blossom, pollen dusts my life lines.

The plants are even rooted in the ground; a small clump of dirt clings to Issy’s as she plucks it from the grass.

It takes me longer than the two of them to pick my own sunspark.

I circle one patch, then another, until I see it, one lone sprig huddled by itself under a curve in the stone.

It’s as vibrant as its sisters, but the blossom of light curves toward the ground.

When I see it, I can’t help but think of me my first few days here: crushed under the burden of what I thought was everyone else’s expectations for me.

I tug the flower from the soil and cradle it gently as I head toward the kiosk.

Tess and Issy opt for mason jars, but I select a terrarium necklace, one with a long chain so the sunspark will hang close to my heart.

Before the attendant stoppers it closed, I pull out my notes and tear off a blank corner, then drop it into the tiny glass globe.

It settles like a backdrop against the golden rays of the sunspark.

My old ties to Fableland mixing with the new ones to come.

I’m still clutching the necklace in my hand when we head back to the stairs.

“Going down had better be easier or I’m calling a manager,” Tess grumbles.

Issy checks the time on her phone. “We should head over to Vale of Villainy,” she says. “You want to be at the front of that line of people rushing for the labyrinth.”

Tess bumps my shoulder. “Is Mason going to be there?”

I shrug, that ache at my center yawning open at the thought of him. “I’m sure he will.” I blow out a breath. “Just not…forme.”

Tess tips her small chin toward the sky. “Good, because you don’t need him. You carried his ass through this whole scavenger hunt.”

The truth was, we were pretty much neck and neck. But I like Tess’s version better.

Today is the first time the contestants will be pitted against each other in the same place. And the first time not everyone will have the chance to make it to the end of the day. Tension is high. The stakes are even higher.

Mason and I can’t both win the money. But we’re close enough to the end that one of us might, and I’m not sure that whatever we had would have survived that. The two of us want this prize too badly. We need it too much.

I let my friends lead me to the interpark tram. My pulse thumps against my eardrums and my knees are shaking. I force myself to take a long, deep breath.

I took a chance on Mason. I made a choice by opening myself up to him, by trying to make this work. He broke my heart when he couldn’t reciprocate, and everything in me still hurts. But for the first time since I walked away from Ava’s rose yesterday, I know I’ll be okay.