Page 36 of Love Arranged

“How long has he been looking?”

“It’s been a more recent thing,” she answers vaguely. “Although about a year back, he used a dating app to try to find a fake fiancée on his own?—”

No. I don’t realize I said the word aloud until Willow looks at me for clarification.

“He used an app?” The question comes out as a half squeak, half wheeze.

She nods.

Hell no, I say stronger this time, but the sharp pain lacing through my chest doesn’t pay it any attention.

There is absolutely no way…

“What was it called?” Do I sound anxious? I can’t tell with the way blood is pounding through my ears.

“Eris?” She taps her chin. “No. Wait.Eros. Like the Greek god of something.”

“Love,” I say. “He was the Greek god of love.” My voice sounds so small.

“Yes! You’re right.” She is completely unaware of the damage she’s inflicting as she carries on. “I never heard of the Eros app before, but based on how much Lorenzo hated it, I assume it sucked.”

“He said that?” My heart feels like it was punctured with a thousand thorns.

“Yes.” She nods with pinched brows, only for them to dart up toward her hairline. “Wait. You just said you used dating apps too, right?”

“Yeah.” The word slides against my tongue painfully.

“Did you try Eros?”

“Briefly.”

“What did you think?” she asks.

“Wouldn’t recommend it.”

“He said as much too.” She laughs while I wish for a hole to open up underneath me.

“So he wasn’t looking for a real relationship?” All that time I spent talking to him, imagining a future together…

God. You’re so stupid.

“No, and the experience made him shy away from the idea until a month ago.”

“Why?” I rasp.

“A focus group pointed out how he lacked any deep connections to the town, and someone said maybe if he had a family, they’d be more likely to take him seriously…”

I’m no longer paying attention. Willow continues talking, but I’m too lost in my own thoughts to reply.

He realized finding someone on an app was a bad idea.

Someone orme?

The pang in my chest becomes unbearable, the throb impossible to ignore.

After spending all this time wondering why I wasn’t good enough to make him stay, I feel devastated. Deceived. And most of all rejected twice over, because for some reason, I wasn’t an ideal choice for his plan.

My heart feels like it’s being torn apart once more, and the dull throb in my chest whenever I think of Lorenzo transforms into a full-blown ache that can’t be ignored.