Page 22 of Long Pig

Larry

After Larry graduated high school, Clyde insisted he attend college in upstate New York. Larry wasn’t happy about it but did as his father bid. His mother had become harder to deal with. His father tried to shield him, but she was mostly insane. Or so Larry thought. Her world consisted of sin, evil, and the devil. Her volunteer hours at church were cut back due to an argument she had with the pastor. Larry had no idea what the argument was about. He only cared because she spent more time at home now.

Larry always listened attentively at church even though he didn’t want to. He understood where some of his mother’s thoughts came from, but she always took them one step further. What he disliked most about sermons was that the pastor never spoke of killing or torturing, which were thoughts that ran through Larry’s head constantly. The pastor’s main focus was like his mother’s.

“Brothers and sisters, I tell you this morning, the body is a battleground. God gave us flesh to house the soul, but the Devil prowls it like a thief in the night, whispering into appetites and stirring unholy cravings. The apostle Paul warned in Galatians:‘The flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh.’Do you hear that? Flesh and Spirit are enemies, locked in a war. And if we give the flesh an inch, it will devour us whole.

The sins of the flesh are not just what you put in your mouth, not just drink or gluttony, though those will rot you, too. No, they are the secret lusts that rise in the dark. They are the wandering eyes, the coveting heart, the restless hands. They are the indulgences that make the body lord over the soul.

I say to you: a man who bows to the flesh is like a beast. He may walk upright, he may smile at his neighbor, but inside he is chained to his cravings, gnawed by his own hunger. And the end of such a man is ruin. For Scripture says: ‘If you live according to the flesh, you will die.’

But, oh, there is hope. Christ crucified the flesh upon the cross. And if we nail our desires to His cross, if we live by the Spirit, then we are set free. Free from corruption, free from shame, free from the fire that waits for the unrepentant.

So guard your eyes, guard your thoughts, guard your very bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit. Turn away from the whispers of the flesh, lest they drag you down to the pit. And remember: the wages of sin is death. The gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

When Larry turned eighteen, he swore to stop the sins of the flesh. Women didn’t really interest him, and sex in general didn’t either. The boys he left behind in high school spoke of nothing but girls and women. Larry thought of nothing but death. He was better than his classmates.

His mother never believed it, though. To her, men held the most sin, even though the pastor railed against the sins of Eve. His mother railed against the sins of her son.

Larry’s biggest problem with going off to college was leaving the shop. His father spent most of his time at thebar, and two drinks had now become several more. Larry’s disappointment was almost overwhelming. He was ashamed of his father’s drunken incompetence and swore he would never touch alcohol. The shop would suffer with Clyde back at the helm, and it made Larry angrier as college loomed ahead.

The slaughterhouses were some of his favorite places. Seeing the animals alive before he processed them was testament to his righteousness. They were placed on the earth for men to consume.

Genesis 9:3“Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.”

Larry took this to heart. God wanted man to eat every moving thing that liveth. That included man. Sins of the flesh bad; murder, not so bad. He swore to live by these church lessons.

The boys at school began to think of him as strange and avoided him when possible. He had no idea his father had similar thoughts. Clyde sat him down once with an important question.

“You know I love you, son,” he began. “Your mother has been saying things, and I think it’s time I ask. If what she suspects is true, there is help, and I will do everything in my power to fix it.” The entire time he spoke, he wouldn’t look at Larry. His hands trembled slightly, and his breathing was raspy. “Do you like boys?” Clyde finally spit out and looked into Larry’s eyes. “You know, in a sexual way?”

Larry was stunned, and he couldn’t help his face reddening.

“You never talk about girls,” rushed from his father’s lips. “Usually, young men your age think about nothing but girls.”

“You’re asking if I’m a fag?” Larry asked angrily.

His father shook his head but didn’t speak.

“No. I do not like boys,” Larry said stiffly. “I’ve been attracted to a couple of girls, but then they do something that reminds me of my mother. The last thing I want is that stone around my neck. You should tell her to mind her own business. I’ll never bring a woman to this house so they see what a wife truly is. Or that a husband settled with a wife like her turns to drinking instead of laying down the law.”

Larry walked away furious, and Clyde didn’t broach the subject again. He had lied to his father, though. Butchering meat held fantasies he could never say aloud. Before he’d turned eighteen and given up masturbation, his bloody gloved hand did a fine job of taking care of his sexual needs. He spilled onto the meat and took great delight into weighing, packaging, and handing it to the customers. They walked out carrying his seeded meat.

Finally, the day came, and Larry left for college. It was far different than high school. He had a hyperactive roommate who finally got tired of inviting Larry to parties or out for drinks. With the legal drinking age at eighteen, it was the favorite pastime for college students.

Larry took a human anatomy class his freshman year, and it was the only thing that excited him. If he were willing to give up the butcher shop, he might become a pathologist. Unfortunately, it would require a bachelor's degree, four years of medical school, and an internship. Other than anatomy, he hated his classes. He used the college library to study the medical textbooks they had. He couldn’t remove them from the library, so he would sit for hours in the quiet room and study.

When he returned home for Christmas break, his sophomore year, his father delivered the bad news over dinner.

“Things aren’t the way they were before,” Clyde said. “It’s impossible to bribe the regulators, and the business is too much for me. I’ve made a decision.”

Before his father continued, Larry spoke up. “I’ll return home immediately and take over the shop.” He would cripple or kill the regulators if necessary. They would be too afraid to give him grief like they did his father.

Clyde shook his head. “My decision has been made, and I’m closing the butcher shop. Don’t worry about your future. I’ve made a trust for you with the money I’ve saved. When your mother and I are gone, you will be in a financially safe place to live the life you choose.” At Larry’s angry expression, he continued, “The meat business is changing, son. I cannot compete with the prices at grocery stores. Restaurants are buying from large distributors, and the business does not have a future. I’m sorry, son, you’ve worked hard to learn the business, but you can take these skills and use them in your life. I have made you into a strong man.”

Larry inhaled deeply, trying to keep his fury in check. He would have money after his parents died, and that money would allow him to do what he wanted. The only question was how long they would live?

That night, like many others he remembered from his youth, he heard his mother’s cry from her room.