Page 15 of Long Pig

Chapter Nine

Stranger Danger, Serial Killer

Willow

“How long will it take until we hear something?” Willow asked after the doctor and deputies left.

“Most likely months. The state lab is always backed up, and those bones are not exactly a priority for anyone but us.”

“You seem to like the doctor,” she said.

“Hank and I go way back. He’s been the coroner for years, and he’s also my primary care doctor. When I was still working, I’d go into his office for some ailment or another, and we would talk about dead bodies. I hadn’t seen him in a few years.”

“You should go have a beer with him sometime,” Willow said.

“Trying to get rid of me?” Dale asked.

“No, but you must get bored with only me for company.”

“Oh no,” he said. “You’ve insulted the dogs. They are my best friends.”

“I didn’t insult the dogs, and I thought I might be your best friend.” She didn’t wait for his answer. “You gave me the warm fuzzies when you told Deputy Wallard I was your granddaughter.”

“Warm fuzzies good, or warm fuzzies bad?” he asked.

“I think of you as my grandfather. I never said it because I worried you would be offended.”

They were still sitting under the awning. Dale reached over and squeezed her hand. “I would be honored to be your grandfather. But don’t you dare call me pops. I almost decked that stupid moron.”

“As your granddaughter, I will always be available to bail you out of jail. I think almost killing him from heat stroke was a better punishment, though.”

“It was sweet to see his red face and shaking hands. Idiot should always carry water in his vehicle. What did you think of him?”

Willow didn’t need time to give her answer. “I knew guards like him. You learned to stay clear of them whenever possible.”

“His story about his other department was a bunch of crap. He left before they fired him. This county has no problem hiring rejects. I’ll be surprised if he lasts more than a few years. While he’s covering this district, treat him like those bad guards. Stay clear of him unless I’m around. He’s the type of officer who allows women to pay off speeding tickets with their body.” Heat rose in Dale’s face. “I know that was impolite to say, but I’ve seen his kind before. Steer clear.”

She saluted him. “Dinner won’t prepare itself, and I’m making something complicated from Joan’s cookbook.”

“It’s Chinese food, isn’t it?” he said, groaning.

“You’ll see.”

“It is Chinese food, and it’s gonna have that tofu garbage in it.”

“Half the time you don’t even know when I use tofu. You complain over everything healthy.”

“You want me to grow man boobs,” he protested.

Willow laughed. “That’s a crock of bull. Tofu does not cause man boobs. I watched an entire documentary on it. Asian men and women have the least amount of body fat and man boobs in the world. They also eat the most tofu.”

“Okay, but if I get man boobs, you’re buying the bras.”

Willow laughed all the way into the house.

???

“Something’s bothering me,” Dale said on an overcast morning two weeks later. They hadn’t heard back from Deputy Wallard. They didn’t know how long the body had been there, whether it was male or female, or if the person died from natural causes, which Dale thought was doubtful.