Page 54 of Little Dark Deeds

But was it?

“I saw a wall of plaques when I entered the store,” I said.“You’re the employee of the month.Well done.”

He looked down, sighing as he kicked a few pebbles around.“You don’t have to be polite, and you don’t have to pretend, not with me.”

“The compliment was genuine.”

“I know you’ve never approved of me.And hey, I get it.You wanted the best for Tiffany, and in your mind, I wasn’t it.”

“What makes you think I didn’t approve?Did Tiffany say something to you?”

“I never knew all her reasons for breaking up with me the first time,” he said.“When we met up again, she admitted you felt she could do a lot better than me.”

It was something I’d said in confidence—girl talk.Or so I thought.

“I never knew she’d said anything to you,” I said.“How could I?She didn’t even tell me you’d started dating again.”

“She didn’t want to keep it from you, and just so you know, I advised her to tell you.”

“Why?”

“She felt bad keeping it a secret.”

I wished she had felt confident enough to tell me.

My advice, had she asked for it a second time, may have been a lot different.

“When did you start dating again, and which one of you reached out first?”I asked.

“About nine months ago, I pulled into a gas station, and there she was, standing out front, sipping on a giant, blue slushy drink.We made eye contact, and the next thing I knew, we’d decided to go for a drive.It ended up being one of the best, most honest conversations we’d ever had.”

“What did you talk about?”

He crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes.“Are you sure you want to know?”

“I do.”

“She said she’d been under a lot of stress the first time we dated.She was still getting over the last guy.She wasn’t in the right headspace to give our relationship what it needed to thrive.That was part of the reason she called it quits.”

“And the other part?”

He looked away, going quiet, giving me an idea of the “other part,”—me.

“You’re the other part,” he said.“You told her you thought she was better off with someone who was goal-driven and motivated, like her.”

Hearing my words coming back at me, I felt awful about having said them.But I deserved to hear it.

“Tiffany asked me for my honest opinion,” I said.“Some things I mentioned were favorable, and others were not.I never suggested she should break up with you.”

“I don’t think you realize just how much she looked up to you.Your approval meant everything.”

“Tiffany didn’t need my approval, and she knew it.She was the best of us, a much better person than I’ll ever be.Look, I’m sorry.”

“Is that why you came here, to apologize?I don’t need your apology.We’ve both just lost someone who meant a lot to each of us, and I’d rather not stand here reminiscing.”

Talking with him now, I had such a different impression of him than I had before.He was mature and well-spoken.I supposed I’d missed it because I’d never spent much time with him.In fact, this was the first one-on-one conversation we’d ever had.

“What happened after the night you reconnected at the gas station?”I asked.