Page 42 of Little Dark Deeds

“You have no idea what I’ve been through.”

“I’m ...you’re right.Sorry.I just meant to say, when you care for two people at the same time, even if it’s in different ways, the last thing you want to do is to hurt either of them.”

“Your lies hurt them both.”

“I was trying to find a way to be with Tiffany, to have a future together, while also considering Jana’s happiness.It’s all I thought about.All day.Every day.”

The more he talked, the more it sounded like he was focusing on himself, his needs, and howhe’dbe affected.

“I’d like you to stop thinking about it from your perspective, whatyouwanted,” I said.“Think about Tiffany and Jana, about how you would feel if they treated you the same way.Lied, cheated.Ifyouhad been the one on the receiving end, what then?”

He wiggled around in his seat like he was trying to get comfortable.“I’ll admit, I didn’t think of it that way, not until Tiffany expressed her feelings for me.I’ll never forget it.We were walking through the park, and she told me she was falling in love with me.I’d felt the same way about her for weeks.But given my circumstances, I didn’t know how to handle it, and I panicked.”

“And you still didn’t tell her the truth.”

“I kept thinking I’d find a way past it, a way to smooth it over.As the days passed, I came up with ideas here and there, but none of them seemed right, so yeah, I kept stalling.”

“How long were you planning on living a double life?”

“This is going to seem hard to believe, but the day my wife confronted me, I’d written her a letter, thinking it might be the best way to describe what had been going on.”

It was hard to believe, the timing almost too perfect, and I questioned whether he was telling me the truth.

“Did you ever give her the letter?”I asked.

“I told her I’d written one.She didn’t care to read it.”

“How did your wife find out you were having an affair?”

“That is the million-dollar question.”His cell phone rang inside his pocket.He pulled it out and looked at it, canceling the call and then setting the phone to the side.“I don’t know how Jana found out.The only person I told was Jordan.”

“Do you think he told her?”

“When she confronted me, I considered the possibility that he betrayed my confidence.But no, I don’t think he did.”

“Why not?”

“He’s always been a good friend.”

“Some friends have a way of turning on you in certain situations.”

“Not Jordan.We go way back.”

“You seemed upset with him earlier, when you thought we were talking about you.”

“Yeah, that’s because I didn’t know who you were.Now that I do, it makes sense why the two of you were talking about me.”

Maybe it made sense to him.

Not to me.

“If Jordan didn’t speak to Jana, who did?”I asked.

“Beats me.”

Although he’d been dishonest with both women, for the moment, I was willing to believe he didn’t know how Jana learned about the affair.Thinking I had a better shot at getting it out of her, I didn’t press the subject any further.

“Tell me about the day your wife confronted you,” I said.