Page 302 of Lilah

"Your legs," he places his hand on my thigh.

"Blankets."

"Your lips." Can he think of anything else?

"Umbrellas."

"Your eyes."

"Bear."

"Yourotherlips-"

"You better stop that!" I gasp and he smirks wider than ever. I can't do anything with him, I really can't.

I lay my head down on his shoulder, figuring it's probably best to refrain from playing these types of games with him.

A knock sounds on the door and I sit up, watching a middle-aged man in a white coat with a dress shirt and tie underneath enters the room. Grey and I stand to greet him.

"Hello, I'm Dr. David Adams," he gives us a nod.

"I'm Azalea," I shake his hand and Grey introduces himself, shaking his hand too. He takes a seat in the chair next to the couch Grey and I were sitting on and we sit back down.

"I'm the senior clinician here, and John Terrip's case was assigned to me," he explains and we nod, listening carefully.

"I'm afraid the news I'm here to tell you isn't good news," he begins gently. What does that mean? What kind of bad?

"John arrived here in cardiac arrest and we successfully resuscitated him. After testing, we determined he had a brain aneurysm which is what caused the initial stroke," he explains and I just feel my heart falling deeper and deeper.

"We took him to surgery as quickly as possible and did everything we could but unfortunately, he suffered bleeding to the brain from the ruptured aneurysm which led to the second stroke. I'm terribly sorry, but John died on the operating table."

I snap my head to Grey, wondering if he had heard the same thing I just had. I had to be hearing things.

Grey's eyes close and I watch as his jaw clenches harshly. He heard the same thing.

This can't be happening.

This is my fault too. If I wouldn't have thought about myself and my own excitement, I would've gotten to him sooner. None of this would have happened if I would have just stopped thinking about myself.

I rise my from my seat and dart out of the door in front of us.

I can't be in that room. It's too small. It's too filled with bad things, bad thoughts.

I run. I sort of run. I half jog out into the lobby of the hospital and I know I shouldn't run but I just want away from everything.

I hear Grey's deep voice shouting after me and I know he's going to end up following me.

Maybe I'm hoping to run away from the thoughts in my head or maybe I'm trying to run away from the man who tried to save Mr. Terrip, I don't know.

"Azalea?" I whiz past the guys who have bags of food in their hands and I don't turn back to apologize even though I know I should.

I try to push open doors that lead to a small outside balcony and the door is so heavy, it takes a lot of force for me to open it.

"Baby, please," Grey's voice speaks from behind me, "you're going to hurt yourself doing this."

I finally get the door open and I walk out to be met with the view of the small city in front of the hospital. Tears run down mycheeks at an almost unnatural speed and I'm breathing heavily. I feel Grey's presence behind me.

"I can't do this Grey," I breathe out and it's true. Ican'tdo this. I went through Jake and it almost ruined me. Now Mr. Terrip is gone too.