Page 136 of Lilah

"I was guilty."

"Why were you guilty?" I question softly.

"Your brother did everything he could to keep your name and your face out of this place. He never wanted you involved. I was the only person who ever saw your picture. I felt guilty because when I first met you in person, I was sofuckingattracted to you. I felt like I owed it to him to leave you alone but there I was, getting a fucking hard-on watching you suck the straw of your fucking milkshake, goddammit."

My mouth falls open a bit. My body temperature rises. Good God almighty, he's got a potty mouth.

I've only known what the term he used for boner was because of Aaron. Who uses it when talking about dark haired girls he meets at college parties. Nasty boy.

"Horny?" I blurt squeakily.

"Very fucking horny." Oh dear Jesus.

"And I knew I couldn't treat you right so I wanted you away. But guess fucking what? Myhornyass couldn't stay away from you," I watch as his eyebrows scrunch, recalling how he felt then.

"I prayed for Jake to forgive me and I kissed you," he speaks of our first kiss.

"And I've never felt so fuckin' shitty about everything I said leading up to it. And I hated how much I wanted to keep doing it. So I went and said that stupid shit about it being a mistake," his fingers dig into my back, trailing down and I swear he could've been a masseuse because gosh dang it feels heavenly.

"And now here we are," I say softly.

"Mm, here we are," he places his lips on mine in a soft kiss.

The door busts open and small peepee guy walks in looking around for Grey.

"Get the freak out loser," I scrunch my nose at him and he turns to us, hearing my voice. His eyes narrow and his lip curls into a sneer.

I stand from Grey's lap, being as tall as I can be compared to Jonas.

"Small tittie bitch," he growls and I'm not even offended because Grey told me that my boobies are fine.

"Say that shit.One more time," Grey's voice sounds scary as heck as he now stands behind me.

'Say it.' I mouth to Jonas who still glares at me.

'Whore,' he mouthes back to me so quickly that I'm one hundred percent sure Grey never even saw it. I feel like me and Jonas hate each other but we thoroughly enjoy being terribly mean to each other. Or that's just me.

"Hold me back Grey," I say and he doesn't.

"Grey I said hold me back," I whisper-shout.

"You haven't moved," he replies and I sigh.

"I'm about to, that's why I'm telling you to hold me back," I say. Come on, who doesn't know this?

He sighs and grips onto the back of my hoodie.

Ha, like that little grip can hold back my dark side.

I pounce.

"Grey, a little looser, I can't move," I admit. I mean, gosh darn he's freaking strong. I ignore the little baby smile that now sits on Jonas' face.

Well, he doesn't look like a brat when he's smiling.

"Are you done being a little shit?" Jonas asks like he's talking to a child. I feel Grey release me and starts storming forward. I grip onto his arm.

"I've got this Grey," I assure him before clearing my throat.