Page 4 of Lies That Blemish (The Ember War #3)

Aisling

Alek leaned in to hug me and whispered into my ear. “You look stunning.”

I wore an emerald-green dress that hugged my hips and was embellished with crystals along the neckline.

“Thanks,” I told him as the attendant finished curling my hair and then left my dressing room. We were at the emperor’s palace, my father’s old place, where I grew up. We were about to take a car to a nice dining hall, where our engagement party was being held.

“Are you worried about Valor?” Alek asked. He was easy to talk to. We’d become close friends over the past two months.

I nodded. “But my hands are tied. The second our party is over, I’m going back there to wait at the edge of the woods for her to come out,” I told him.

“I can go with you. We could camp. Might be fun.” He offered a handsome smile.

He was good-looking, sincere, sweet, loyal, and yet… I didn’t have a burning fire for him inside of me like I had Kohen. I was ashamed of how deeply I’d allowed Kohen to infiltrate my heart. It felt like any “romance” that came after him would pale in comparison. And Alek kept hinting at wanting to go deeper with me, which I understood since, technically, we were engaged. But he knew this was a business arrangement.

I flicked my gaze to the tasteful gold band on my left hand, something small I could still fight with.

“Maybe,” I told him. “You’d have to have your own tent,” I added. We weren’t married yet, and guards would be there. People would talk.

“Of course,” he said, again eyeing my dress. “Aisling, I wanted to talk to you about something… delicate.”

My gaze flicked up to his, roaming the strong lines of his face. His bright blond hair and blue eyes made him literally the opposite of Kohen in every way.

That should be a green flag right there.

“What is it?”

He cleared his throat. “Some rumors have started that our engagement is… a sham.”

I shrugged. “I mean, it kind of is.”

I regretted the words the second they left my lips.

Hurt crossed his face. He nodded, swallowing hard. “It may not be a love marriage, but our union will put faith into the hearts of the Amersean people that your reign will be long and full of heirs.”

He was right. I needed to take this more seriously.

“Okay, what do you want to do? Pull up the wedding date?” I asked. I had learned Alek didn’t bring up a problem without a solution. Something I really enjoyed about him.

He shook his head, taking a step closer to me. “No, we just need to act like we’re in love.”

It dawned on me then what he was suggesting. A kiss? A public kiss?

“My people know I’m cold and private, which is how a war leader should be. I’m not going to tongue kiss you in front of the entire country, Alek.” Holding hands was enough to make me squirm. It was so showy.

Again, I couldn’t help but notice the hurt that crossed his face, and my heart sank. He liked me. A lot. And I didn’t feel the same. Which sucked harder than I thought it would.

“I would never suggest a crass tongue kiss, Aisling. I’m talking about something softer.” He stepped closer again, and my heart began to race.

“With your permission, of course, I think once they announce us, we walk out holding hands and then… kiss. A small, delicate kiss that shows people we’re in love. Even if we aren’t.”

He said that last part with a sorrowful tone, and it broke me.

I reached for his hand, pulling it into mine. “Alek, you can back out, you know. Find someone who adores you. You shouldn’t have to be tied to me, knowing it’s just an arrangement for the betterment of our country.”

His eyes burned with passion then. “Even if this is the only way I can have you, as some arrangement, without your love, I’ll take it, Aisling. For my country and for the small hope that maybe a decade in the future, you might soften towards me and reciprocate my love.”

Love. He said love . His words had emotion clogging my throat. It was the sweetest thing he’d ever said to me, and I was painfully aware that we were still holding hands.

“Alek, what if I never feel the same? What if you spend your whole life just being… my friend?” Because I honestly wasn’t sure I would ever love again.

He nodded. “You’re worth the risk. And I’ll have the adoration of whatever children we produce, that I’m sure of.”

That made me smile. “Oh, you think our future children will love you more than me?”

He dropped my hand, nodding. “Of course. I’m the fun one, and you’re the strict one. You say no to a second cookie, and the second you leave the room, I’m giving it to them.”

“Alek!” I slapped his arm, laughing.

Stars, he was so easy to get along with. If someone could be trapped in a loveless marriage, it should at least be to their best friend.

“I do love you, you know?” I said, feeling bold.

He froze.

“As a friend . But… I do. I trust you, Alek, and I can count on one hand how many people I can say that about.”

He nodded. “I appreciate that, and I intend to never betray that trust.”

I just wished I could believe him. But Kohen had ruined that for me. Still, he was right. We needed to make the people believe our love was real.

“Yes, to the kiss when they announce us,” I told him, and he swallowed hard.

“Okay. Should we practice before so it’s not awkward?

“Are you an awkward kisser?” I asked in a teasing tone.

“No!” he scoffed. “I’m just saying it will be the first time we kiss. What if we bump noses and start laughing?”

I grinned. “You just want to kiss me, don’t you?” I joked, and then felt bad for it.

His eyes flared to life. “Well, yeah, but not as a rehearsal for a play act.”

Ouch , point taken.

“Okay, then kiss me.” I shrugged, jutting out my chin and puckering my lips.

He peered at me with an intensity I hadn’t expected. “Only psychos kiss with their eyes open,” he scolded me.

I grinned, enjoying this banter, and closed my eyes, puckering my lips again. I expected to feel his lips on mine, but instead, he took the sides of my face gingerly in his hands, cupping my cheeks, and my heart raced. I hadn’t been kissed since Kohen, and those kisses had been scorching, earth-shattering, soul-mending. I didn’t feel that for Alek, so I prepared myself for a kiss that felt dead, but when his lips pressed onto mine, ever so tenderly, a tiny spark ignited in my chest. A mild thrill went through me. But just as soon as it was there, he pulled away, and it vanished.

I opened my eyes, a little surprised to see him grinning.

“Dare I say you enjoyed that, Aisling?”

“Don’t count on it,” I told him honestly.

The door to my dressing room opened, and Alek stepped back a little. It was Admiral Elaine, wearing her full Fleet-issued suit. “There has been another letter,” she told me and glanced at Alek.

I’d approved Alek to hear higher-level security clearance issues weeks ago.

I nodded that she could proceed.

“From Maxim?” My heart sped up. He hadn’t written to me for two months.

Elaine shook her head.

Oh. Kohen. “Burn it with the rest of them,” I said. He’d been sending a letter a week for two months now. They all said the same thing: your father was going to hurt you, I was saving your life, stop this fighting, and we will stop, blah blah.

Elaine cleared her throat. “This one is different… and you’re going to want to read it alone.”

Read a letter from Kohen? I hadn’t done that in weeks. I’d stopped because it got hard, seeing his handwriting, hearing him plead with me to believe him. They were all the same, so I saw no point. He wasn’t surrendering himself to justice, so I was going to keep going until we had him in handcuffs.

“I’ll see you at the party,” I told Alek.

He nodded, taking his cue to leave, and ducked out of the room.

Elaine strode over and handed me the letter, watching Alek leave the room.

“You didn’t tell me Kohen could see the future,” she said, and I bristled.

I snatched the letter from her hand and met her gaze. “Didn’t seem to matter anymore.”

She glanced at the letter. “I’ll be waiting outside.”

With that, she left the room. I’d given Elaine permission to read Kohen’s letters and screen them for anything important, like a surrender. Otherwise, she was instructed to burn them. Had Kohen said in the letter that he could see the future?

I peeled it open and read.

Aisling,

Lately, I’ve learned something awful about my gift of seeing the future, and that is that the future can change. What used to be one road has now merged into two. Two possibilities, depending on what you do.

I froze, taking a shaky breath. Two futures? What was he talking about? I shouldn’t even be reading these lies.

I see you married to Alek and me married to Anika. We are at peace in our own separate countries. You are decently content, having chosen duty over love. In this future, Luska is still a threat and you fight them until the day you die.

On the other possible road, I still see you as my wife. Our lands become one again, and we rule over them together, living out a happy life where Luska is no longer a problem. But it’s a reality we will have to fight for, Aisling. You will have to fight for it.

You will have to be open to the fact that your father was a monster who tried to kill you and was ? —

I stopped reading because it went into the same old story, and I was starting to question my reality, my sanity. Could Kohen be right about my father? Stars, I hoped not. My heart ached at the thought of him marrying Anika, and then I hated myself for still caring. He killed my father and then killed me! Who cared if he knew I would rebirth. That was crazy. He was unhinged and, and… I needed to speak to someone who could give me unbiased advice. I felt my mind splintering at the edges.

‘Young one, I promise you I am not taking his side, but I do think Kohen’s claims deserve further investigation,’ Liana said, and I groaned.

‘I don’t like your eavesdropping. I want to be alone!’ I snapped at her and then immediately felt bad for it.

Who had I become?

My father . I was becoming my father: cold and uncaring, easy to anger. A single tear slipped down my cheek as I crushed the letter to my chest.

How many lies could you hear before it started to sound like the truth? Especially when they came from the lips of the one you once loved. My heart felt battered from the lies Kohen had burned into it time and time again.

‘He sent a firebomb on our troops at the border today. How about I investigate that?’ I asked Liana.

‘After you sent one first,’ she countered. ‘He’s just protecting his people. Notice he hasn’t hit any civilian buildings, and casualties have been minimal.’

I growled. ‘Well, I haven’t either.’ I’d been purposefully staying away from Sorak, the city I knew his brothers were in, because I was too soft to kill two young and innocent boys. But if Kohen was hiding out there, I would eventually have to storm the city and take it.

Liana sighed in my head. ‘Aisling, you have both been fighting with minimal casualties. Can’t you see this isn’t a real war?’

Her accusation that I was holding back because I still might love him, or that Kohen was doing the same, enraged me.

‘He killed me, Liana. Watched as poison flooded my body, and my heart shut down. All the while whispering sweet nothings in my ear like a lunatic.’

She was silent because I knew she could say nothing after that cold, hard fact.

I tossed the letter into the fire and then left the room. I had an engagement party to go to and a people to convince that I was in love with Alek. The future of this entire empire rested on it.