Page 3 of Liberator (Serpent Sinners MC #2)
Chapter 3
The pain around my broken heart was so strong I figured I’d be dead before morning.
Watching Liz leave with my baby in her arms and not running after her was the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life. It was worse than experiencing the rape that had given the baby life. It ripped at my soul.
I’d cried until there were no more tears, then realized I was most likely not welcome to remain at the Sinner’s clubhouse any longer. The crisis was over.
It was time for me to go.
I didn’t have a destination just as I hadn’t when I’d left foster care. The biggest difference between then and now was how much I’d learned and how hardened I’d become. I wasn’t a na?ve little girl anymore. My experiences had been a painful wake up call. I know knew there was more evil in the world than I’d ever imagined. It wasn’t a fairytale, though I’d not expected that anyway, not after the years I’d spent being sent from home to home.
I just hadn’t thought that the devil came in such a handsome package. I’d been fooled, but it wouldn’t happen again. I swore it.
The clothes and personal care items I’d been given by the cub had arrived in a beat-up duffel bag. I decided no one would get upset if I packed the little bit of shit I’d collected into it to take with me. Otherwise, I’d have to find a trash bag and lug it around, which would advertise my homelessness to everyone I ran into. That wasn’t a good way to get a job.
I’d learned quickly that you had to appear you already had a job and a home in order to actually get them for real. That was the fucked-up reality.
I’d almost finished stuffing my meager belongings into the duffel when Rage showed up at the door.
I’d hoped to escape without being noticed. Saying goodbye to my rescuers was something I preferred to avoid. I’d cried enough for an entire lifetime, yet I knew telling them goodbye would break me down again.
The confrontation with Rage dug deep into my soul into places I didn’t care to go. He was asking too many questions, ones that made me think when I didn’t wish to think. I wanted to run away, to hide from the pain and loss. I wanted to wallow in self-pity for a few days while I tried to figure out where I was going. He wasn’t letting me get away with it.
I wanted to hate him for that, but I couldn’t.
He cared, though I had no clue as to why. Everyone around me in this club seemed to care. It made no sense to me. I was nothing to them, except a bonus rescue. Maybe, that made them feel responsible for me. They weren’t, however. I’d gotten myself into the mess, and even though they’d saved my ass it was still my mess to deal with. I was sorry they were going to have to go up against the cartel, but that wasn’t entirely my fault. They’d come to save Jackson. I was a byproduct of that plan, not the main goal.
“Did you hear what I said?” Rage asked for what I realized was not the first time.
I shook my head from side to side, not only as an answer to his question but to clear away the wayward thoughts inside it.
“I said you should ask Prime if you can be a prospect. It’ll solve most of your problems. You’ll have food, shelter, and be able to stay where we can give you protection. The more I hear myself say it, the less crazy it sounds. I’m a damn genius for thinking of it!” Rage yelled.
“How much champagne did you drink? Because either you’re drunk, or you’ve lost your mind. I’m not motorcycle club material. I’m weak, lost, and don’t even know how to drive a car much less a motorcycle,” I replied.
“We call them bikes, or hogs, or rides,” he automatically corrected. “You can learn. It’s not that hard. Besides, you won’t need one for a while. You’ll have a lot of other things to learn first. Prospects do grunt work before they get on with other things,” he reminded me.
“You may have noticed when you were between my legs catching the baby that I’m a female. I don’t have a cock. You don’t have a full-fledged member that’s a woman. The closest thing you’ve got to one is Flame. She should be a member, not just a bartender. If she’s not good enough, then I’m certainly not,” I argued.
“The two of you can work together to change that. That’s the perfect plan, actually. Flame will get what she’s always deserved, and you can be dragged along. Women are always protesting and fighting for equal rights. Maybe, the Sinners need to catch up with the times, be a little more progressive. Prime has a good head on his shoulders. He listens, otherwise I’d never have been able to bring you, Liz, and the baby here for safety. He might even like the idea of female prospects.”
“You’re delusional, Rage. Prime won’t find the idea appealing. He’ll laugh in our faces. So will all the other guys. The Serpent Sinners and all the clubs like them are men’s clubs. The women around them are just there as decorations, useful in their own way, but unimportant. Most of them are whores, available to screw so they can hang around the members,” I told him.
I’d observed a lot in my few days at the club.
“Not all of them are whores. Flame isn’t. Some of them are what we call old ladies, which means wives and girlfriends. We give them respect and keep our hands off them,” Rage explained.
“Don’t you understand? I’m none of those things. I’m not a girlfriend or a wife. I’m not even a tough chick like Flame. And regardless of what I said earlier, I don’t intend to be anyone’s whore ever again. You’re grasping at straws. I thank you for that, I really do. You’re a good man, despite the fact that you’re kind of scary to look at. I swear I’d stay if I thought it made sense to do so. It just doesn’t.”
I took a long, drawn-out breath to calm myself and added, “Prime may be open minded according to you, but that’s not what I saw and heard. He wanted me left behind. There’s no way he’s going to want me to be a prospect. I don’t have a man behind me, and he’ll be quick to point that out. No Rage, this isn’t the solution, though I wish it was. I’ve got to leave. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“Let’s compromise for now. I can’t just let you walk out there in the dark knowing the cartel wants revenge,” Rage said.
“Other girls have been walking out all night. They didn’t take bodyguards, and nothing happened to them. I can walk out just as easily. It’s all good. Take care of yourself, Rage. Don’t die when the cartel comes for a fight, okay?”
“Listen to me! The cartel knows your face. Liz was okay to go because she wasn’t alone. They weren’t going to attack a family to get one woman back, especially one that wasn’t young and fresh like you. They sold you already. They took money for you and the man that paid them will expect his goods to be handed over. Hell, they’ll owe him restitution for the kid, so they’re going to want you back. You’ve got a damn target on your back. Stay!” he demanded.
It was getting harder and harder to resist and give him reasons. It was strange that he was determined to keep me here. And not to use me. There was a hole stuffed full of distrust inside of me now, but I couldn’t make it latch onto Rage.
He was the exception.
Funny, since I knew he’d probably killed people.
“How long can I stay without wearing out my welcome? I can’t just sit around and take without giving something back in return. I stayed this long because Sweet and Jemma wanted me at their wedding. Well, it’s over now. I wish I could’ve found a way to pay all of you back, but that wasn’t possible. I won’t take anymore charity. I’ll give you two days, and I’ll work at something to pay my way. If the cartel doesn’t show their faces during that time, I’m out of here,” I retorted, as the frustration and a bit of anger grew inside me.
There. I couldn’t feel guilty about leaving now. I made a shit deal, knowing there was nothing I could do in two days.
“That’s not enough time, or a big enough compromise. The cartel is biding its time, waiting for us to stop watching so carefully for them. They want our guard down before the trouble starts,” he answered.
I opened my mouth to protest that if that was the case then why wasn’t it safe for me to leave. He held a hand up to stop my rant before it began.
“They wouldn’t see taking you as starting trouble. Just like you, they think we don’t give a shit about what happens to you. If you walk out of here on your own, they won’t expect us to care. They’ll snatch you and figure we’ll never hear about it. Sadly, they’d be right about us not hearing. We’d care, but we wouldn’t know where you were,” Rage explained.
I blew out a loud sigh and said in a resigned voice, “Then, what is a good compromise according to you?”
Why was I even agreeing to hear him out?
“Stick it out here for a week, seven days; not five. Observe what goes on around here and let me soften up Prime. Make some friends, especially Flame. I’ll help you get a job at the bar to earn your keep. You can clean tables and mop floors or something. If nothing else, then Flame can show you how to work the register and make change. You’ll have some experience for a job when you leave, that is, if you find it’s necessary still to do so. I’m hoping it’s not.”
Those last words bothered me. Rage was hoping I would want to stay.
Something in me burned as his eyes bored into me, and I wanted to open a window and jump out. What the hell was I getting myself into?