Page 16

And besides, I promised Roman I’d come back to the hospital this afternoon and see Darya.

I move around the apartment on autopilot, showering in the tiny bathroom where Abby and I made love more times than I can remember, dressing in clothes I left in her drawer when I thought it was going to be forever.

There’s still time.

I leave the apartment before one p.m. and walk to the hospital in an effort to get my head together. I stop on the way to grab a bocadillo , a Spanish bread roll stuffed with fillings, more to soak up the alcohol than anything else.

It tastes like sawdust.

I reach the hospital before I’m ready to go in, but then, I’m not sure there’s going to be a time today when I’m ready for anything except the phone call I’m increasingly sure isn’t going to come.

When I go into Darya’s room, Roman is sitting on the bed, Aleksander in his arms. “Brother!” His smile is so brilliant it hurts to look at. “Come meet your godson.”

I approach the bed, horribly aware of Darya’s watchful gaze .

“Dimitry,” she says gently, catching my hand as I reach the bedside. “How are you?”

I raise my eyes to hers, and her smile fades. She squeezes my hand, tugging me down into the chair beside her before she lets it go. Roman, as oblivious as ever to anything but his own joy, places the small bundle in my arms.

“He’s big,” he says proudly. “Almost eight pounds.”

“And I felt every one of them,” Darya says wryly.

“He’s a beauty.” I’m amazed my voice still works. I’m afraid of holding the infant for long in case I just plain forget I’ve got a baby in my arms.

“You sound like it was a late night,” Roman says, grinning. “Don’t tell me you kicked on after you left me?”

“Just for a bit.” I keep my eyes averted. “I’m so happy for you both,” I say, handing the baby carefully back to Darya. “I’ve got a gift, by the way.”

From Abby and me.

I think it but don’t say it. Abby bought the gift before she left. I found it with her letter, back in Madrid.

Maybe I knew even then she’d never come back.

I place the silver box on the bedside table, praying Darya won’t open it while I’m in the room. I’m not sure I can take hearing whatever message Abby left for her.

“Roman,” Darya says, and I realize she’s watching me again, “would you mind getting me a peppermint tea? The café across the road does a proper pot, not the hospital instant stuff.”

“Of course.” Roman leaps up with alacrity. For once I’m grateful for the self-absorption that prevents him from realizing his wife is getting rid of him. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He claps my shoulder and walks out, whistling.

Darya waits until the sound of his footsteps has faded. “He doesn’t realize it’s today,” she says quietly. “And I didn’t want to tell him. He’d only be upset, and even angrier at Abby than he already is.”

I nod.

She puts the sleeping baby into the bassinet by the bed and takes my hand again. “So there’s been no word.” It’s not a question. My face is answer enough, but I shake my head anyway.

“Dimitry.” The tension in her tone makes me look at her. Darya is frowning down at the bedspread, her topaz eyes clouded. “If I told Roman this, he’d think I’m crazy, and maybe I am. But I just...” She swallows, then raises her eyes to mine. “What if something has happened to her?”

I stand up, easing my hand from hers. “I know she reached Australia safely and made it through customs. I tracked her that far, just because I’d have gone insane if I didn’t.

But you know Abby better than anyone, Darya.

How do you think she’d react if she found out I was using our security team to track her? ”

“I understand.” She nods. “But I can’t help thinking something is wrong. I ran for a long time. You get a sixth sense. A kind of knowing, when something is off. I’ve had that feeling the last few days, like there’s something coming.”

“A baby, maybe?”

She smiles, but my poor attempt at humor falls way short.

“Abby didn’t contact you either, then?” I already know she didn’t, or Darya would have told me.

She shakes her head. “That’s the other reason I think something is wrong. I understood her needing time, and I knew it would be hard for her to take that time if she was still talking to me. It hurt, but I understood it.

“But not so much as a text message? After I’ve left a dozen calls and messages on her phone, and even sent her a photo of Aleksander?

” She shakes her head, frowning. “Abby’s a lot of things, Dimitry, but she’s also my best friend.

And she’s not capable of being cruel, especially not to me. It just doesn’t add up.”

The hospital is siesta quiet, and in Darya’s private room the only sound is the little snuffling of her baby breathing. Even though this is maybe the only conversation I can stand to have today, it’s still hard.

“Don’t try to find excuses for her.” My voice rasps in the quiet.

“Believe me, I’ve been down that road. Tried to tell myself there must be a good reason for her silence, just like I want to believe that maybe a message will still come.

But at some point, Darya, I’m going to have to accept facts, and so are you.

Sometimes, the most obvious explanation is simply the truth.

And the truth is that Abby kept a lot of secrets.

We both know she hated everything about our world, the bratva life.

Maybe she just decided to make a clean break. ”

“She loves you, Dimitry.” Her voice is soft, but it breaks my heart all the fucking same.

“Don’t.” I spin away from her, staring out the window at the city below. “Please don’t.”

The silence that falls is anything but peaceful. I know Darya is as hurt as I am, but I don’t have the words to comfort her.

“What are you going to do?” she asks eventually.

“I don’t know. Go back to Miami, I guess.” I turn around, forcing myself to face her, though the concern in her face just reminds me of how fucked-up I am. “I can’t stay here. Not without her.”

“Roman misses you. Can’t you talk to him—”

“No.” I cut her off as calmly as I can manage. “Not about this. He’s furious at Abby for leaving you, and frankly, I can’t deal with it.”

She is shaking her head, her face a picture of dismay.

“ I’m not the reason Roman is furious at Abby.

He’s furious at her because Abby hurt you , Dimitry .

She hurt you badly, and he knows it. Loyalty is everything to him.

You’re his closest friend. He’s angry because he doesn’t know how to fix it, and we both know how much Roman hates not being able to fix things. ”

She smiles wryly, and even I smile at that.

“Yes,” she goes on, “he is also angry that she hurt me. But it’s really you that he’s worried about. Most of all, I think he’s worried that you won’t ever come back to Malaga.” She looks at me anxiously.

I know what she wants me to say: that of course I’ll be back.

Of course I’ll always be here to have Roman’s back.

But I can’t find it in me to give those kinds of reassurances. Not today.

“At least stay awhile,” she says when I don’t answer. “Talk to Roman about this.”

“Talk to Roman about what?” The man himself comes through the door, carrying a tray with a teapot on it. He looks between Darya and me, and his open smile fades really fucking fast. He puts the tea tray down.

“Something you need to say, brother?” His eyes aren’t shining and joyful anymore. Roman is standing in front of his wife and child, and every inch of his body screams that if I’ve done anything to upset his piece of paradise, I’m about to pay.

And suddenly, I just don’t have the energy for it.

“I was just telling your beautiful wife about the jewelry piece I have to deliver in Barcelona tomorrow.” I force myself to smile at him.

“It was actually made by your grandfather Borovsky, can you believe that? It’s a pendant, a really nice piece of work.

I’ve taken some photographs of it, I’ll send them to you. ”

“Ha!” Roman’s eyes light up again.

Christ, he’s obtuse sometimes.

“But wait.” He frowns. “You didn’t mention this last night. Does this mean you’re leaving already? ”

“I have to, brother, I’m sorry. And I did mention it, actually.

You were just too far up on cloud nine to notice.

” I turn away, taking a slightly savage satisfaction in his confused expression.

It might be the only day in history I get away with lying to Roman’s face.

“I’m so happy for you both,” I say again, leaning down to give Darya a kiss on the cheek.

“I hope you love the gift. And Aleksander is beautiful. Congratulations again.” I grip Roman’s shoulder briefly.

“I’ll call you from Barcelona. Look after yourselves, okay? ”

Darya’s smile is strained, her frown still clearly visible as I turn away.

I think I’ve made it free and clear when I hear Roman running down the corridor after me. “Dimitry. Hold up.”

Dammit.

I stop reluctantly and turn, plastering a smile on my face. Roman isn’t smiling anymore, though.

“I just realized.” He gives me a searching look. “It’s today, isn’t it? The three-month thing with Abby. It ends today.”

I give a curt nod, not trusting myself to speak.

“And I’ve been so wrapped up with the baby and everything, I just forgot. I’m sorry, Dimitry.” He puts his hand out, and after a minute, I take it.

This is why it’s so fucking hard to stay mad at Roman.

He’s a self-absorbed bastard. He’s also the best man I know.

“It’s over, then?” he asks, studying my face.

I lift a shoulder. “I guess.”

He grimaces. “Stay tonight. Have a drink with me. We can talk this shit through.”

“Thanks.” I meet his eyes. “But I need to go, Roman.”

His eyes narrow. “Back to Miami?”

“Yeah.” I lift my shoulders. “At least for a while. Until I get my head straight.”

He nods slowly, watching me. “Fair enough. But don’t stay away too long.” He puts his hand out again. “And I’m always here, brother. Anytime.”

I shake his hand again, unwilling to speak.

Roman pulls me into a hard embrace, thumping me on the back twice.

Then we’re done.

I don’t know why I bother going back to Abby’s apartment.

Maybe because I feel the need to wait the day out until the bitter end, until the stroke of midnight, in the place it all happened.

I stop to buy more booze on the way, because why the fuck not. But when I get back to the apartment, I have no thirst for it.

I have no appetite for anything.

I clean up the apartment, more to keep myself occupied than anything else. Check to make sure the bills are all paid, along with the next several months of rent.

Why are you even bothering, Dimitry?

But I don’t try to answer that. There isn’t an answer that would make sense.

Then I sit down on the couch and wait.

At midnight, I finally stand back up.

Abby’s never been late for anything in her life.

A more optimistic man might want to believe that her silence is just the precursor to some kind of miracle.

But nothing in my life has taught me to expect miracles.

Abby was the miracle. And then she left .

“You’re not coming back, Skip, are you?” My voice echoes around the silent apartment. I twist the silk of her robe between my finger and thumb. “You’re never going to come back.”

I turn off the lights and lock the door behind me. I slip a chain through the door key and hang it around my neck.

Then I go downstairs and walk out the front door, into the rest of my life.