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SEVENTEEN

ruby

“You were right, Hayes.” Lorenzo tips his head back against the white cushions on the bow of the boat and closes his eyes to the sun. “I haven’t felt this good in I don’t know how long.”

We’re anchored near the north end of the lake, where it’s quiet enough I don’t have to worry about anyone who knows my parents spotting the boat.

“See? I know what you need.” And then, because that sounded vaguely sexual and I still haven’t recovered from the hotness of him licking syrup off my skin, I add, “The lake has always been our spot.” I push the little blue cooler we brought on board toward him. “Care to indulge?”

He looks at me, and a conspiratorial smile forms on his face. “I guess one beer wouldn’t do much damage.”

I resist the urge to call him uptight and nod. “Do it.”

“You want one?”

I’m tempted. It feels so good to be back here with the sun and the boat and happy, relaxed Lorenzo a foot away.

All the best times of my life happened in moments just like this.

But a few drinks might sink me deeper into memories than I want.

Funny how after all these years, I could still end this day in tears over him, just like I used to.

I can’t keep living like this. “All you,” I tell him.

He opens the cooler and takes out a beer. “Remember how miserable we thought we were in high school? No privacy, no freedom. Small town, private school, parents always on our back. This lake was our one escape.”

“Don’t forget booze and drugs.”

A dark look crosses his face. “Yeah, we leaned way too heavy on that escape.” He shakes it off. “But out here life felt good.”

“Well, yeah, when you’re getting laid constantly.”

“Who?”

I laugh. “You!”

“Getting laid constantly? What are you talking about?”

“You are so full of shit!”

He sits up while I try not to notice the fact that two weeks of recovery has done absolutely nothing to diminish Lorenzo’s hard, sculpted abs. “No, hold on, I need to hear this. I think I’d remember getting laid constantly.”

“Would you like me to refresh your memory?”

“Yeah, in vivid detail, because it sounds fucking great.”

I sit back. “Summer after freshman year. You, me, Leo, Carlos, Lisette, and her cousin, that creepy-ass wrestler guy you used to hang out with ...”

“I get it, one boat, lots of people. Cut to me getting laid constantly.”

“Does the name Greer Jacobs mean anything to you?”

A sly smile flashes across his face.

“It was her idea to go skinny-dipping once the sun started setting. And then as soon as the whole crew is naked in the water and thirty feet from the boat, there you two are, bare asses scrambling up the ladder so you can roll around the floor of the boat together.”

“You couldn’t even see us.”

“Didn’t need to. I heard you.” I can still feel the way my stomach dropped when I noticed him flirting with Greer and then, hearing them in the boat, the way my jealousy cut so swift and so deep it felt like disgust. And then the way I laughed along with my friends, enduring the sharp kick in the stomach, burying the feelings deep and going on with life.

With sudden exhaustion, I wonder, Will I ever stop doing that?

“Whatever. I had to witness plenty of your make outs. There just aren’t words to describe the feeling of watching a future convict shove his tongue down your best friend’s throat.”

“I never pulled in the numbers you did. Girls were so obsessed with you in high school. It was gross.”

“Can we stay on you?” He leans forward and grabs his sunglasses off the seat and slides them on, hiding his eyes from me.

“What about me?”

“All the guys who were into you who you flat-out ignored in high school?”

“Hey, no lies on the lake, remember?” Lake Foster was the setting for a lot of truth-or-dare games when we were teens.

“I could name twenty right now.”

“How about guys who weren’t disgusting animals?”

“Okay, eight.”

“Name one.”

“Jason.”

“Jason who?”

“ The Jason. Jason Braggs-Flynt.”

“No way!” I wave him off. Jason Braggs-Flynt was a sometimes-member of our friend group, but an odd one. He was gentle and charming, never partied hard, headed a bunch of school clubs, and pulled in amazing grades. He ended up class salutatorian senior year. He was also surprisingly good-looking.

“You were the only reason he came around. You think he had a single thing in common with the fuckheads we hung out with?”

“You know me, I only like guys who treat me like shit.” I’m playing it off, hoping Lorenzo will drop it. I don’t like how appealing the idea of Jason wanting me is.

“I’m serious, Ruby. He was so into you. He thought you were all sexy and wild and badass.”

I roll my eyes.

“You were. Why do you think I hung out with you?”

“For protection?”

“Please. I stopped needing you as a bodyguard by fifth grade.”

I give him a long look.

“Okay, seventh.”

“Well, I’m flattered by Jason’s opinion, but at best I was one of those things; occasionally.”

Lorenzo looks amused. “Which one?”

“Which do you think?”

“I just said I agree with all of them! Jeez, quit fishing,” he jokes. “You could have been engaged to a future tech billionaire by now. Isn’t that enough for you?”

“What?”

“Jason. He graduated early and started some AI tech company. He’s supposed to be worth a few million and multiplying by the day.”

I let that sink in. It’s impressive but hardly surprising. You didn’t have to know Jason well to know he was never going to be ordinary.

“I bet he’s already sunk his money into real estate or something smart like that. Probably something I’ve never even heard of,” Lorenzo continues.

“Or crypto, maybe?”

Lorenzo gives me the finger and I laugh. Freshman year of college he won a few hundred bucks gambling and converted it to crypto, where it lost all value within two months. “Yeah, you definitely hitched your wagon to the wrong Lakeside Prep graduate.”

I recognize the sour feeling in the pit of my stomach as my mood turns.

I was such an idiot in high school, chasing boys who weren’t interested in me, mouthing off to teachers, and constantly skating on the edge of academic failure.

I was a loser and I knew it. I leaned into it, somehow even made it cool to a certain subset of kids—also losers—because I was sure it was the only thing I could be.

But looking back, I had so many chances to pull myself out of it.

Now everyone from those days has moved on and found their way, winning academic awards, applying to grad programs, founding million-dollar tech companies. And I’m still the same: zero achievements under my belt, no clue where I’m headed, and boasting the attention span of a gnat.

“What’s wrong?”

I look up to find Lorenzo watching me. “Just having a little pity party, you know how it goes.”

“What, because of Jason? Come on, I was kidding about the future-wife stuff. He was never your type anyway.”

“Right, ’cause instead of snorting lines and doing backflips off a moving speedboat, he looked me in the eye and asked me questions about myself.”

“Hey, the heart wants what it wants.”

“That wasn’t my heart, that was my booze-and-weed-fried brain.”

“Really? You’re sitting here four years later wishing you’d dated Jason?”

“I’m just wishing I did things differently.”

“Everyone does. You think my regret doesn’t run bone deep?” He looks out over the water, and I know he’s thinking of Anthony.

“You turned it around, though. Did I tell you my professor said I’ll never make it in quality assurance?”

“She said that?”

“Pretty much.”

“Yeah, I can see how a person who knows nothing about you would have a real knack for predicting your future.” He dismisses the idea with a wave. “Come on, Ruby.”

“I just feel like everyone’s moving past me.”

“I’m not.”

I smile, but I’m suddenly overwhelmed by sadness. “The NFL, Lorenzo? You’re moving faster than anyone.”

“We’re sitting on the same lake we’ve sat on for thirteen years together. I’m not going to leave you behind, Hayes.”

He means it. He just doesn’t know how much his life is going to change after college. But even so, his words fill my chest with the kind of warm, soft comfort that no one else but Lorenzo can create.